{"id":4123,"date":"2015-01-29T16:38:31","date_gmt":"2015-01-29T23:38:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4123"},"modified":"2015-01-29T16:38:31","modified_gmt":"2015-01-29T23:38:31","slug":"please-tell-two-friends-and-so-on-and-so-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4123","title":{"rendered":"Please tell two friends…and so on…and so on…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Remember that Faberg\u00e9 Organics shampoo commercial from the 80\u2019s?\u00a0 And how that blond chick (who looked suspiciously like a young Heather Locklear) was so psyched about the shampoo\u2019s wheat germ oil and honey ingredients that she told two friends about it.\u00a0 And they told two friends.<\/p>\n

And\u2026then?\u00a0 All the math in the universe went wonky. \u00a0Because on the tv screen at that point, there were only FOUR friends who ALL looked like Heather Locklear.\u00a0 But by MY calculations, there should have been SEVEN friends on tv (one of them being Heather), all excitedly chatting about their shampoo: some with brown hair, some with bowl cuts, some with zits and so on.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s not what happens.\u00a0 And while Heather continues telling all of her friends, the math gets even wonkier and everyone\u2019s blond hair gets more amazingly Farrah Fawcettish and so on and so on.<\/p>\n

Towards the very end of the commercial, Heather\u2019s boyfriend shows up.\u00a0 He ACTS like he’s smelling her hair, but we all know he’s really\u00a0licking the\u00a0honey off\u00a0as he lurks behind her.\u00a0 Weird.<\/em><\/p>\n

At this point, there are three things\u00a0that I wanted to tell Heather:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Get some ugly friends already, Heather. Ones with bad hair!<\/li>\n
  2. Oddly enough, I\u2019m still waiting to hear from you about the shampoo.\u00a0 I’m sure you’ll be telling me something about it shortly.<\/li>\n
  3. Also, the ingredients in your shampoo? We\u2019re now using in modern times for our smoothies.<\/li>\n
  4. Ok, actually four things: and this last one isn’t really directed at Heather.\u00a0 It’s directed at YOU,\u00a0reading this blog:\u00a0I need your help getting my blog nominated by February 1st<\/sup><\/span><\/strong> for The 2015 Bloggies.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    So pretty pleasepleaseplease go here: http:\/\/2015.bloggi.es\/<\/a> and vote for me for \u201cMost Humorous Weblog.\u201d\u00a0 You will need to fill in THREE nominations.\u00a0 Of course, if you\u2019re the smartest and prettiest person in the land, you will naturally put \u201cNew Stay at Home Mom\u201d in the FIRST Nominee field and this link http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/<\/a> in the FIRST corresponding URL field.<\/p>\n

    If I\u2019m the only humorous blog you read, thank you and God bless!\u00a0 But you will need to fill in two more blogs in order to complete your nomination.\u00a0 A few that I feel won\u2019t give me a super duper amount of competition in the \u201cMost Humorous Weblog\u201d category (and which I suggest all the smart and pretty people put in second and third spots) are:<\/p>\n