{"id":4105,"date":"2015-01-16T18:00:44","date_gmt":"2015-01-17T01:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4105"},"modified":"2015-01-23T18:29:33","modified_gmt":"2015-01-24T01:29:33","slug":"steve-martin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=4105","title":{"rendered":"Steve Martin Calling"},"content":{"rendered":"

Steve Martin the comedian has been calling my home phone.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t ever actually talk to him, he just leaves a message\u2026but I KNOW it\u2019s him because A) he SAYS it\u2019s Steve Martin and B) he puts on an Indian accent and does this hilarious shtick about how I\u2019m wanted by the U.S. Treasury for some \u201cenforcement action.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

U.S. Treasury?!?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Ohhhh, so funny.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What: Is the U.S. Treasury gonna GET ME \u2018cause I had that random thought that one time when I saw the commercial about the Special Collector\u2019s Buffalo 24 karat Gold Coins and wondered who actually buys them?!?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Admittedly, it would have been even funnier if Steve had said that the U.S. Treasury AND the Thought Police will put me in front of a grand jury as a federal criminal for ignoring his phone call.<\/span><\/p>\n

But he\u2019s the pro, so we\u2019ll let him say whatever he wants.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Though you have to admit \u201cThought Police\u201d would have been a gas.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>Then he tips his hand by mentioning that my ignoring his call will be considered an \u201cintentional second attempt to avoid appearing before a magistrate judge.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Not only is this quintessential Steve Martin, but it also reveals that he\u2019s now speaking in code and he clearly wants to offer me a job in his next movie.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Since, as we all know, magistrate judges are wig-wearing, black-robed judge-y types\u00a0in England and not America, I\u2019m pretty sure the movie will be a period piece filmed in England.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Most likely involving Hugh Jackman.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This will be a great personal and professional opportunity, in which case I\u2019m totally gonna call Steve back.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So it\u2019s convenient that Steve repeats his number twice so I can make sure I get it right.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because when yer gettin\u2019 on the horn to give someone a jingle about a job, you wanna make sure you get it right.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMy number is 562-398-3824. I repeat 562-398-3824.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve included Steve\u2019s number here in case you want to be in the movie with me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We could always use extras in the big, sweeping English period pieces Steve\u00a0and I (well, and Hugh) are always filming together.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But hands off Hugh.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019s mine.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I just thought it would be helpful to give you a fair warning on that.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Or \u2013 put in Steve\u2019s own words as he wraps up his voicemail messages to me, \u201cI\u2019d like you to cooperate with us and help us to help you.”<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Whataguy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Words to live by, I think we all agree.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

So call Steve!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Call him NOW!!!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And tell him you want a part in his film.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019d appreciate it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019d appreciate it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But that\u2019s just us \u2013 Steve and me (well and Hugh too, but HANDS OFF HUGH!) \u2013 that\u2019s just what we\u2019re all about: always trying to help us help you.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you and you\u2019re welcome.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And this is not a scam.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>This is totally for real.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Steve Martin the comedian has been calling my home phone.\u00a0 I don\u2019t ever actually talk to him, he just leaves a message\u2026but I KNOW it\u2019s him because A) he SAYS it\u2019s Steve Martin and B) he puts on an Indian accent and does this hilarious shtick about how I\u2019m wanted by the U.S. Treasury for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[359,357,356,358],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4105"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4105"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4105\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4115,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4105\/revisions\/4115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}