I utterly detest the carpet in my basement and I’ll tell you why.<\/p>\n
I constantly think there are spiders on it.<\/p>\n
It’s a fairly innocuous beige berber wall-t0-wall…but there are these darker bits woven into the rug periodically throughout.\u00a0 And no matter how many times I’ve seen them, they always take me by surprise and make me think a spider lurks there.\u00a0 At which point I have to approach the dark spot doing some\u00a0rain-dance type moves in the hopes of sending vibrations through the floor which will\u00a0encourage\u00a0the spider to move and thus “out”\u00a0itself.\u00a0 And if it IS a spider,\u00a0I\u00a0grind griiiiinnnnd it into the rug and make the dark spot permanent!\u00a0 And sometimes I do that even when it isn’t a spider.\u00a0 Just to be on the safe side.<\/p>\n
This is a totally sane approach to rugs, right?\u00a0 And spiders.<\/p>\n
No??\u00a0 Next thing you’ll be telling me is that not EVERYONE thinks there’s a baby in\u00a0the black garbage bag\u00a0they sometimes see lying in the middle of the road.\u00a0 No?!?\u00a0 Then why do YOU avoid\u00a0hitting the bag?!\u00a0 (because I have seen you avoiding it)<\/p>\n
I’m on to you.\u00a0 I know what you’re doing.\u00a0\u00a0I ALSO saw the movie Gaslight and so I know when I’m trying to be driven insane.\u00a0 Well I’ve got news for you.\u00a0 It won’t work!<\/p>\n
I’m already there!\u00a0 Mwa ha ha ha (evil, insane laugh).<\/p>\n
Too many fumes from the housecleaning products.<\/p>\n
Thanksgiving’s coming.\u00a0 Gotta get the house ready.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I utterly detest the carpet in my basement and I’ll tell you why. I constantly think there are spiders on it. It’s a fairly innocuous beige berber wall-t0-wall…but there are these darker bits woven into the rug periodically throughout.\u00a0 And no matter how many times I’ve seen them, they always take me by surprise and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=402"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":747,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions\/747"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}