{"id":3950,"date":"2014-11-10T11:41:01","date_gmt":"2014-11-10T18:41:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3950"},"modified":"2014-11-10T11:41:01","modified_gmt":"2014-11-10T18:41:01","slug":"fall-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3950","title":{"rendered":"Fall Back"},"content":{"rendered":"

Excuse me?\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>You right there.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Is my circadian rhythm showing!?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I think it must be.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because for the last week – since we all Fell Back – I\u2019ve been waking up at 4:59 am.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>On.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Dot.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Grrrrrrrr\u2026<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

And yes, yes, yes, I understand that I\u2019m part of an advanced society that can \u201cbend time\u201d twice a year to suit its needs; mostly so that we can make our morning coffee in the daylight instead of pre-dawn.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>While I\u2019m not sure who decided it was gonna go down like that, I recognize we do it because we are a progressive people who drink antifreeze in their cinnamon whisky shots.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We have the wherewithal to conceive of an idea, and then the capabilities to \u201cmake it so.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>(That was a quote from Star Trek.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Is my nerd showing now too?!)<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But honestly, I\u2019d be WAY more impressed with my advanced society if they figured out how to instantaneously re-set my INTERNAL clock at Fall Back time.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>5:59 am is a much more do-able rise-and-shine time than 4:59 am is.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And you know what would be the MOST impressive of all?!?\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Even MORE impressive than inventing Internal Clock Fall Back Time?\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Which is similar to Hammer Time, by the way.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But different.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because THIS you can touch.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/em>Would be to just acknowledge already that time travel capabilities exist, and that they\u2019ve been in existence since the whole Philadelphia Experiment rumor started.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This approach would allow me to openly use the <\/span>teleporter I currently keep hidden in my laundry room<\/span><\/a>.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Pssst!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>I bought it when we were living in Pennsylvania, specifically on a trip to Philadelphia.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You can get \u2018em cheap from a dude on the corner of Market Street by the Liberty Bell.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Most of the time he pretends he\u2019s just selling knock off handbags and such.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>If you can\u2019t find him, then your next best bet is the Naval Shipyard.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Once you get there, just ask the guard for the USS Eldridge and wink several times.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Because IF I<\/span><\/span> could use my teleporter instead of being all hush-hush about it, then future me could come back to waking-up-way-too-early me, and deliver my coffee BEDSIDE!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>No matter WHAT the hour, daylight or otherwise.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Screw you, AND the horse you rode in on, Fall Back!<\/span>\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

How\u2019s THAT for advanced?!?\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Coffee?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Tea??<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Me?!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Ha, ha, ha.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s a little joke we teleporter peeps have with our future selves. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>It\u2019s a thing people in the future do.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You wouldn\u2019t understand.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

However, everyone knows that a Temporal Paradox is created when two versions of yourself exist in one place with coffee.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>If you don\u2019t get the coffee just right, then the whole thing becomes extremely dangerous to the fabric of reality.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And to anyone who isn\u2019t good at math.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Their heads just POP right OFF!<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Which means the teleporter idea just isn\u2019t feasible in this country.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>They teleport all the time in China because as a society, they\u2019re way better at math than we are.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But here?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In the good \u2018ol U.S. of A. where we INVENTED time travel?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s just not feasible.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Most people aren\u2019t good at math and therefore can\u2019t be trusted.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>This forces ALL of us to time travel (air quotes on that while rolling the eyes) the old-fashioned way: by shoving around the hours, one at a time, until we get time-to-make-the-coffee just right.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Which is fine, I suppose.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>A body does get used to it, afterall.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Eventually, that is.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Take yesterday, for example \u2013 Sunday, the ONE day in the entire week I get to sleep in.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Guess what time I woke up?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yep.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>5:59 am.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>On.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Dot.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Excuse me?\u00a0 You right there.\u00a0 Is my circadian rhythm showing!?\u00a0 I think it must be.\u00a0 Because for the last week – since we all Fell Back – I\u2019ve been waking up at 4:59 am.\u00a0 On.\u00a0 The.\u00a0 Dot.\u00a0 Grrrrrrrr\u2026 And yes, yes, yes, I understand that I\u2019m part of an advanced society that can \u201cbend time\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[301,294,298,296,297,300,295,299],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3950"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3950"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3954,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3950\/revisions\/3954"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}