{"id":3906,"date":"2014-10-28T08:37:17","date_gmt":"2014-10-28T14:37:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3906"},"modified":"2014-10-28T08:37:17","modified_gmt":"2014-10-28T14:37:17","slug":"the-phone-call","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3906","title":{"rendered":"The Phone Call"},"content":{"rendered":"

It was\u00a0a dark and stormy night…<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It was last night.\u00a0 Hubby\u2019s plane was due to land any minute.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The phone rings.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I look at Caller ID and the display reads <\/span>County Sheriff<\/span><\/em>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Really?\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Yeah, right.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>My first reaction was to dismiss the whole thing as just one more political phone call \u2013 this time it\u2019s probably the Police Chief wanting me to vote for him.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Or with him.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So I hesitated to answer.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The phone\u00a0rang again.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was\u00a09:30, which made\u00a0it\u00a0a little late for a political call.\u00a0 Then it occurred\u00a0to me that maybe Sonny\u2019s biggest-fear-while-Hubby-is-on-a-business-trip (that Hubby\u2019s plane will crash)\u00a0has maybe come to pass.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Maybe this is it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe this is how it plays out.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe instead of showing up at my door like olden times, the cops just CALL me with the terrible news.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I quick grab the phone and answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

The voice at the other end tells me the Emergency Broadcast System has been engaged and to press \u201c1\u201d for the message.<\/span><\/p>\n

Uhhh\u2026ok, well, I’m intrigued.\u00a0 Good job on that.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Let\u2019s hear it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/em>So I press \u201c1\u201d like a boss.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The woman at the other end announces that two escaped juvenile males are thought to be on foot and IN MY HOUSE.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wait!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>WHAAAAAT?!??!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Shhhhhh!!!\u00a0 Stop breathing so loud!!\u00a0 Ok, ok, phew, not in my “house.”\u00a0 I overreacted.\u00a0 In my “area.”\u00a0 But t<\/span><\/span>here\u2019s more.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

One is wearing shorts, a gray hoodie and handcuffs.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Sucks to be you, dude, \u2018cause it\u2019s cold and you\u2019re wearing shorts.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>And also handcuffs.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/em>The woman goes on to say that the other youth is wearing a hockey mask and is carrying a rusty chainsaw.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Totally kidding about the second youth\u2019s description.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Even though that\u2019s not what was actually said, that\u2019s what I may-as-well-have heard.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because at that point, I\u2019m\u00a0picturing escapees from the insane asylum closing in on\u00a0the house with two sleeping children upstairs and a dipstick\u00a0dog wanting to go outside to pee.\u00a0 I’m 100% sure that right\u00a0after I let the dog out, the escapees are\u00a0gonna\u00a0plaster their faces up against my sliding glass door and hold the dog hostage until they gain entry.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Well, I\u2019m hanging up now.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>But thanks for calling.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>This has been a boatload of laughs.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Ding!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Oh, look.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hubby just texted.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He landed safely and is on his way home.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Drive safe, Sweetie!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And don\u2019t pick up any suspicious youths loitering outside in the driveway, especially not if they\u2019re attempting to\u00a0hide their handcuffs in their hoodie.<\/span>\u00a0 And please let the dog in when you get home.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m going to bed.<\/span>\u00a0 G’night.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It was\u00a0a dark and stormy night… It was last night.\u00a0 Hubby\u2019s plane was due to land any minute.\u00a0 The phone rings.\u00a0 I look at Caller ID and the display reads County Sheriff. Really?\u00a0 Yeah, right.\u00a0 My first reaction was to dismiss the whole thing as just one more political phone call \u2013 this time it\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[284],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3906"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3906"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3906\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3916,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3906\/revisions\/3916"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}