{"id":3811,"date":"2014-10-02T10:25:09","date_gmt":"2014-10-02T16:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3811"},"modified":"2014-10-02T10:25:09","modified_gmt":"2014-10-02T16:25:09","slug":"carjackers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3811","title":{"rendered":"Carjackers"},"content":{"rendered":"

So we were at Freddy\u2019s for dinner the other night.\u00a0 And screw you if you have something to say about my home cookin\u2019. <\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And when we got back in the car afterwards, it wouldn\u2019t start.\u00a0 Swell.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We had seen some suspicious youths loitering around the dumpster near the car.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>And I, being my mother\u2019s daughter and therefore constantly on the look-out for carjacking scams, was worried that the loitering youths had pulled some wires out of our car so as to disable it long enough to jump us when we got out to look.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They would then either rob us or quickly put the wires back in the car and steal the car while we left standing by the side of the street wondering what all the wires were for.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My husband\u2019s theory?\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>That it was a dead battery.<\/span>\u00a0 I think you join me in saying, Snoozeville!<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So an hour later, we\u2019re still sitting in the dead car in the dark of night waiting for AAA to bring us a new battery when a man comes up to our car and knocks on the window.\u00a0 No, that\u2019s not scary as S**T considering the fact that I\u2019m STILL thinking we\u2019re going to be carjacked any moment now since it\u2019s all part of the carjackers\u2019 technique to lull us into a sense of security by waiting a full HOUR before carjacking us.\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/span>The man says that a woman parked a few rows behind us actually HAD her car stolen and he wondered how long we\u2019d been sitting here and had we seen anything?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Uh, nothing but SOME SUSPICIOUS YOUTHS!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>I KNEW THEY WERE SUSPICIOUS!!<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Apparently the woman had dropped her keys on the way into Freddy\u2019s and hadn\u2019t bothered to retrieve them.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>At which point the thieves <\/span>IT WAS THE SUSPICIOUS YOUTHS \u2013 I CAN SENSE SUSPICIOUS CARJACKING YOUTHS!!!<\/span><\/em> went around clicking her fob until her car lit up.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Whereupon they stole it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So Sonny, who had been sitting quietly in the back this whole time, is growing more and more agitated by the various carjacking discussions underway.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>This naturally makes him think of his worst fear: zombies.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Which makes him wonder out loud if we were ever afraid of anything in the nighttime when we were kids.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I admit that yes, I was afraid of stuff when I was a kid.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>\u201cIn fact,\u201d I say, \u201cI\u2019m afraid of stuff NOW and most especially when your dad is away on a business trip\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But before I say more, it occurs to me that it would be a bad, baaaaaad idea to tell the kids that it\u2019s my biggest fear that the hand that has lived under my bed for the last 40 plus years will finally, FINALLY reach out and TRIP me when I get out of bed to go to the bathroom while Hubby is away on business.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yep.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Nope, that would be bad.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But Sonny is in the back begging to know what I\u2019m afraid of.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So instead of actually telling him about the tripping hand, I decide it would be funny to describe something super cute, like a kinkajou, as my biggest fear.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And the more I describe it, the clearer it will become that it\u2019s super cute and nothing to be worried about.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m a fun mom like that.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And then we\u2019ll all laugh about how Mom is afraid of kinkajous when Dad\u2019s away on business trips.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Ha, ha, ha.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So I start out with, \u201cOk.\u00a0 I’ll describe what\u00a0<\/span><\/span>I\u2019m afraid of: It\u2019s got big, BIG brown eyes.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Whereupon Sonny says, \u201cNo!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>No!!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Stop, Mom.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>STOP!!!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s too scary with the eye thing!\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Which is fine because the AAA guy has finally arrived.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>He diagnoses a dead battery <\/span>yawn<\/span><\/em> and begins to put a new one in.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Since it\u2019ll take twenty minutes or so, he suggests we go for icecream to pass the time.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As we\u2019re walking away from the car, Sonny-who-is-ALWAYS-up-for-icecream is hanging back and claiming he doesn\u2019t want to go for icecream.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He\u2019s looking at the AAA guy as he says it.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>I tell him it\u2019s fine and the AAA guy won\u2019t let anyone steal the car while we\u2019re away.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sonny tilts his head towards the AAA guy and says out of the corner of his mouth, \u201cWhat if HE steals it??\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Huh.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Hadn\u2019t thought of that, but it\u2019s a good point.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s my boy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s my boy.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So we were at Freddy\u2019s for dinner the other night.\u00a0 And screw you if you have something to say about my home cookin\u2019. And when we got back in the car afterwards, it wouldn\u2019t start.\u00a0 Swell.\u00a0 We had seen some suspicious youths loitering around the dumpster near the car.\u00a0 And I, being my mother\u2019s daughter […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[267,266,268,265],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3811"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3811"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3811\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3819,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3811\/revisions\/3819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3811"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3811"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3811"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}