{"id":3716,"date":"2014-09-10T12:07:17","date_gmt":"2014-09-10T18:07:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3716"},"modified":"2014-09-10T12:07:17","modified_gmt":"2014-09-10T18:07:17","slug":"hand-jive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3716","title":{"rendered":"Hand Jive"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve already discussed how that <\/span>one softball mom<\/span><\/a> thinks I look like Mary-Louise Parker, which I find absolutely mind-boggling.<\/span><\/p>\n

But then just recently?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Recently I was poolside at the country club where I met the husband of a tennis teammate who told me I look like that actress\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

At which point I chimed in with \u201cMary-Louise Parker!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You wanna buy some weed?!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Har, har, har, harrr!!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Turns out the guy I was talking to was campaigning for State Senate at the time.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And\u00a0he was looking\u00a0at me warily, like I might be on the verge of producing some paparazzi to take our picture in front of a Pot R\u2019 Us step and repeat.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So he had to get ready to\u2026run.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Quick like.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

After an awkward pause where he’s scooting back a foot or two to a safer location in case the cameras start snapping, and I’m trying\u00a0to explain about \u201cthis softball mom I know,\u201d\u00a0\u00a0he begins again with, \u201cYou look like that actress\u2026whatshername?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Stockard Channing.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

For a bizarre, heart-stopping moment, I thought he meant CHANNING TATUM and was horrified.\u00a0 Yet oddly flattered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I guess if I\u2019m being offered young, buff dude lookalike, then I\u2019ll TAKE young, buff dude lookalike.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But then I realize I\u2019m being offered Rizzo, the leader of the Pink Ladies who\u2019s a good twenty-five years older than I am in real life; not to mention a smoking, drinking, swearing toughie with a \u201creputation.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Uhhh\u2026gee, thanks.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Somehow?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Selling weed to Magic Mike seems a little more appealing.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

But, <\/span>coincidentally, i<\/span>n highschool I was actually IN \u201cGrease.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 This is how I know alllll about Rizzo.\u00a0 <\/span>Of course I was in the total cringeworthy highschool play version of \u201cGrease\u201d; not the made-for-the-silver-screen version with big name stars like Stockard Channing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u00a0<\/span><\/span>played Cha-Cha DiGregorio.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They call me Cha-Cha \u2018cause I\u2019m the best dancer at St. Bernadette\u2019s.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/em>I was the one who went to the prom with <\/span>Kenickie, but when Rizzo stole him away from me, I ended up partnering with John Travolta and we won the Hand Jive dance contest.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Yay!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But you know what all of that means, don\u2019t you?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It means I know me some Hand Jive, Baby!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So while I may NOT have been born to sell weed, or be an actress.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Or even be a buff dude.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I was\u2026BORN TO HAND JIVE BABY!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Slap, slap, clap, clap, over, over, under, under, fist thump, fist thump, thumb back, thumb back.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/em>Born to hand jive, BABY! [big finale] BOOOOORN TO HAND JIVE, BAAABBY!!!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

WhadoIwin?!?<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve already discussed how that one softball mom thinks I look like Mary-Louise Parker, which I find absolutely mind-boggling. But then just recently?\u00a0 Recently I was poolside at the country club where I met the husband of a tennis teammate who told me I look like that actress\u2026 At which point I chimed in with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[254,252,249,248,250,28,251,253],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3716"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3716"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3716\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3730,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3716\/revisions\/3730"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3716"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3716"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3716"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}