{"id":3659,"date":"2014-08-26T17:10:43","date_gmt":"2014-08-26T23:10:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3659"},"modified":"2014-08-26T17:10:43","modified_gmt":"2014-08-26T23:10:43","slug":"first-day-of-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3659","title":{"rendered":"First Day of School"},"content":{"rendered":"

Because I\u2019m helpful like that, I spend the final week of summer vacation announcing each \u2018last\u2019 day as it arrives until finally,\u00a0<\/span>\u201cThis is the LAST SUNDAY of summer vacation!\u201d \u00a0[said in a voice that sounds very, very similar to the Monster Truck Announcer mixed with the ghost of Ebenezer Scrooge\u2019s dead business partner.]<\/span><\/p>\n

This is the LAST Sunday, SUuuunnnnDaaaAY of Summer VACAaaaaTIONNNNNN!!!
\n<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\n See?!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Helpful.<\/span>\u00a0 I’m a helper.\u00a0 Doin’ some helping.\u00a0 Helping\u00a0<\/span>those in the house <\/span>taking a trip to the guillotine<\/span><\/span> going back to school on Monday feel better about\u00a0the death of their summer\u00a0<\/del>the start of\u00a0an exciting new school year.\u00a0 <\/span>It in NO WAY gives ANYONE\u00a0a sick feeling in their stomach.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

OK, I LIED!!!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I totally, TOTALLY!\u00a0 LIED!!!<\/em><\/span>\u00a0<\/em> <\/span>That whole \u201cannouncing\u201d thing doesn\u2019t make <\/span>ANYONE<\/span><\/em> feel better about <\/span>ANYTHING<\/span><\/em>!<\/span>\u00a0 It makes EVERYONE feel bad.\u00a0 <\/span>Me included.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The TRUTH is that <\/span>I\u2019M <\/span><\/em>actually the one with the sick feeling in my stomach.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And since misery loves company, I try to pass that sick feeling on to others so I don\u2019t suffer alone.\u00a0 You’re welcome.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And why do I even HAVE this sick feeling??<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019M<\/span><\/em> not the one going back to school, afterall.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe not, but I do vividly remember how really, really hard it was to be in 5<\/span>th<\/span><\/sup> and 7<\/span>th<\/span><\/sup> grades: the academics, the social difficulties, weird hair sprouting from weird places, suddenly smelly bits.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Ugh.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And that \u201csmelly bits\u201d comment made you think of an onion-y sub sandwich at the Italian deli too, didn\u2019t it?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So now YOU also have a sick feeling in your stomach\u2026and this sick feeling might, at this very minute, be moving rapidly into your throat.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>FAIR WARNING:<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>if you start chumming in your mouth, we\u2019re done here. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I remember those grades in particular being\u00a0awful.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Really, really awful.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So awful in fact that the\u00a0last Sunday\u00a0Sunday!<\/em> of Summer Vacation resembles for me\u00a0the eve before a battle.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I picture my little babies facing the new school year across an open field.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span>The new school year is lined up in regimented rows, wearing suits of armor.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Sissy and Sonny, barely visible waaaay across no-man\u2019s land, have their faces painted blue and are wearing kilts.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Sissy\u2019s got some cute braid thing going on in her hair and Sonny just lifted his kilt to show off his assets.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They are not armed with a single, solitary war cudgel; only dry erase markers and a box of colored pencils.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And their hope.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Their hope that this school year will be the best one yet.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And that?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Right there??<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That scrappy, rebel hope thing is the reason I would STILL want to know these two beautiful people even if I lived some other version of my life where I wasn\u2019t lucky enough to be their mother.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That hope is a powerful thing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Taught \u2018em everything they know.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thank you and good night.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Because I\u2019m helpful like that, I spend the final week of summer vacation announcing each \u2018last\u2019 day as it arrives until finally,\u00a0\u201cThis is the LAST SUNDAY of summer vacation!\u201d \u00a0[said in a voice that sounds very, very similar to the Monster Truck Announcer mixed with the ghost of Ebenezer Scrooge\u2019s dead business partner.] This is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3659"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3659"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3659\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3673,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3659\/revisions\/3673"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}