{"id":3616,"date":"2014-08-18T12:00:59","date_gmt":"2014-08-18T18:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3616"},"modified":"2014-08-18T12:00:59","modified_gmt":"2014-08-18T18:00:59","slug":"dont-hamper-the-celebration","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3616","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Hamper the Celebration"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s my parents\u2019 Fifty-SECOND wedding anniversary today!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>And because I love my parents <\/span>and I\u2019m the middle child and therefore am endlessly in some sort of competition-in-my-head to attain \u201cfavorite child\u201d status which will never happen because I\u2019m the middle child and therefore exempt from the title despite my best efforts<\/span><\/s>, I decided to have a gift delivered to them on their special occasion.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Cept they\u2019re in Scotland right now, which adds a unique twist to the gift-giving effort <\/span>and also shows that I am completely committed to winning this competition, even if it IS only in my head<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Now\u00a0it just so happens that\u00a0there are many, many options for giving a gift across the pond.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0And\u00a0<\/span>something called\u00a0a <\/span>\u201champer\u201d seems to be a key component to all of this.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>But the word alone makes me think that whatever the gift is, it will most likely come nestled in a bunch of dirty laundry. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Which is an awful possibility.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So no.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>No on the hampers.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Although there was that one thrilling Hamper Experience where I got all the way to the \u201cPlease Deliver To:\u201d phase online.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In the U.S., the \u201ctitle\u201d options would have been your standard: Mr. and Mrs.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But in the U.K. the title options were actual\u2026TITLES: Baroness, Commander, Lord and Lady, Reverend, DAME!!!<\/span>\u00a0 <–<\/span><\/span><\/em>While that particular title sounds like a misogynistic Frank Sinatra song, it makes you want to purchase something from the U.K. online just so you can snap your fingers while sing-speaking, \u201cHooky Dame.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What do I care for a dame?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Every old dame is the same!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

But again, \u201champers\u201d were out, so Hubby and I spent yesterday sitting beside the local pool discussing other gift options with squiggly L price tags.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>To a bystander, it mustuv sounded like we were discussing the weights of all the swimmers in the pool.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYes, but how many POUNDS would\u00a0THAT be?!?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To add to the effect,\u00a0one gift option under discussion was squiggly L 50.12.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Squiqqly L is \u2018pounds.\u2019<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But what the heck is point 12??<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I thought it might be \u2018shillings\u2019 but then again, I\u2019ve read too many Regency Romance Novels in my life, so maybe not.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hubby thought it was pence.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Which I laughed at because it made him sound like he was trying to order a tankard of ale.<\/span>\u00a0 Even though h<\/span>e\u2019s probably right about the pence thing,\u00a0<\/span>I prefer to laugh at him and never admit he\u2019s right (I’m gunning for my OWN fifty-two years\u00a0 of wedded bliss with this tactic),\u00a0so I decided to call the point 12 a \u2018partial pound.\u2019<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And see?\u00a0 We\u2019re right back to judging the swimmers based on their weight.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually we decided to have a bottle of champagne delivered to my parents\u2019 hotel room in the late afternoon of their special day.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So this morning at 7 a.m. Rocky Mountain Time, I spoke with the Team Lead at Hotel Reception and placed the order.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And I know!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Team Lead?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hotel Reception??<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m talking with a fake English accent in my head now too!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Also?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What IS the time difference between Colorado and Scotland?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m hoping it’s\u00a0<\/span>seven hours difference?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Or eight??<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I wish I could ask my mother.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She\u2019s great with time differences in the Atlantic Ocean.<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Whilst speaking with Hotel Reception Come on!\u00a0 Give this one to me.\u00a0 What other time in my LIFE will I EVER be able to say, “Whilst” in casual conversation.\u00a0 With a fake English accent.\u00a0\u00a0Never, that’s when.\u00a0\u00a0So you GOTTA\u00a0give this one to me.<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0I was informed\u00a0that for one pound extra I could have ten pounds of chocolate\u00a0delivered WITH\u00a0the champagne.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Or\u2026maybe it was for ten pounds extra I could have a pound of chocolate delivered with the champagne?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Who knows.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s confusing when people with accents call their money by my country\u2019s weight.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s almost like math.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Actually\u2026it\u2019s TOTALLY like math.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In other words: Confusing.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Like I just said.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, that\u2019s done.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I love you!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And by a quick show of hands, who\u2019s your favorite child??\u00a0 Still no?\u00a0 Well at least you’re always\u00a0glad you had me, right?!\u00a0 RIGHT??\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s my parents\u2019 Fifty-SECOND wedding anniversary today!\u00a0 And because I love my parents and I\u2019m the middle child and therefore am endlessly in some sort of competition-in-my-head to attain \u201cfavorite child\u201d status which will never happen because I\u2019m the middle child and therefore exempt from the title despite my best efforts, I decided to have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[204,199,196,205,198,203,206,200,197,201,202],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3616"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3616"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3616\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3630,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3616\/revisions\/3630"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}