{"id":3400,"date":"2014-06-17T18:03:25","date_gmt":"2014-06-18T00:03:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3400"},"modified":"2014-06-17T18:04:06","modified_gmt":"2014-06-18T00:04:06","slug":"county-coroner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3400","title":{"rendered":"County Coroner"},"content":{"rendered":"

On my way home from Costco today, I saw a sign that said, \u201cElect So And So for County Coroner.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

[And yes, I DO still go to Costco despite what I said in previous posts about never going to Costco again.\u00a0 So yes, yes,\u00a0<\/span>my pants are on fire and the telephone wire is in imminent danger of burning down from my pants.]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But anyway\u2026does anyone else see the flaw in the elect-the-county-coroner plan?<\/span><\/p>\n

I mean, shouldn\u2019t we be hiring the most <\/span>qualified<\/span><\/em> person for that job; Rather than someone who can run a good political campaign??<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It just seems a little bass ackwards to me that County Coroner would be an <\/span>elected<\/span><\/em> position.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Would we really want someone who has the looks and money to throw a successful political campaign fiddlin’ around with the\u00a0dearly departed?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Wouldn\u2019t someone who knows his (or her, <\/span><\/span>the mother can be the doctor<\/span><\/a>, after all) way around a dead body be a better choice??\u00a0 <\/span>In which case, just APPLY for the job and be judged by a panel of experts on your credentials and success rate like the rest of the world does when they’re trying to get a job.<\/span>\u00a0 And no, I don’t have a job\u00a0yet, but thanks for BRINGING IT UP!\u00a0 <\/em>stink eye, stink eye \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, it could be that the elect-the-county-coroner process makes a ton of sense, and I’m\u00a0just\u00a0talking out of my Coroner\u2019s hole here.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So I should probably \u2018fess up right now\u00a0and say that I don\u2019t really know anything about politics.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It seems too close to math (with all that talk about \u201cleft\u201d and \u201cright\u201d) for my comfort, so I steer waaaaaay clear.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In which case, Political Science Major Hubby will weigh in shortly with a \u201ctake your blog down NOW before the world knows of your ignorance.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Until then,\u00a0I\u2019m picturing the County Coroner\u00a0election winner Day One on the job, grinning at his landslide while elbow-deep in some poor, unfortunate\u2019s thoracic cavity, \u201cBodies schmodies.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Don\u2019t know nuthin\u2019 \u2018bout no bodies.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hey, what\u2019s this squishy thing? Wee-eeeh, eee-eeeh!\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>[That was our big winner making silly noises while squishing something inappropriate because he\u2019s completely unqualified to be elbow deep in someone\u2019s thoracic cavity]. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

All I can hope is, once he hits the stinky bits that come next, his too-straight nose will pillow him gently as the floor rushes up to meet his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyone else think the whole elect-the-county-coroner process would be akin\u00a0to hiring corporate job candidates based on how funny and pretty they are?<\/span><\/p>\n

Because we all know if THAT were the case, I\u2019duv been hired about twenty THOUSAND times by now.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But I haven\u2019t been.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And wait.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I think I just insulted myself \u2013 usurping my mad job skilllzzzz with my personality and beauty.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But pay that no attention.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Let\u2019s talk about what we\u2019re making\u00a0for dinner.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m making chicken.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And when I say I, I mean Costco.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s one of their rotisserie chickens which I bought for the reasonable price of $4.99.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I hope it\u2019s not squishy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Wee-eeeh!<\/span>\u00a0 E<\/span>ee-eeeh!!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On my way home from Costco today, I saw a sign that said, \u201cElect So And So for County Coroner.\u201d\u00a0 [And yes, I DO still go to Costco despite what I said in previous posts about never going to Costco again.\u00a0 So yes, yes,\u00a0my pants are on fire and the telephone wire is in imminent […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[117,118,114,116,115],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3400"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3400"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3400\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3410,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3400\/revisions\/3410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}