{"id":3262,"date":"2014-05-16T14:43:58","date_gmt":"2014-05-16T20:43:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3262"},"modified":"2014-05-16T15:57:59","modified_gmt":"2014-05-16T21:57:59","slug":"beware-of-zombies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3262","title":{"rendered":"Beware of Zombies"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday I was running on the treadmill, reading my bookclub book AND watching the Today Show.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Multitask much?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hey!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019re talkin\u2019 to the same chick who went to grad school full-time AND worked full-time.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Or who worked full-time AND chaired the annual school fundraiser THREE YEARS IN A ROW.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So don\u2019t mess with me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll TELL\u00a0you I\u2019ll cut you in the parking lot\u2026then I\u2019ll CUT YOU\u00a0in the parking lot.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

While I was running\/reading\/watching the Today Show, there was a segment warning all of America that they should NOT be putting various bumper stickers on their car.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

For example, those stick figure family decals?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They let criminals know that sharp, thin people live at your house.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And that one of those people might do baseball and the other\u00a0ballet.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Which means that they might follow you to ballet practice and steal your pink toe-shoes.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Or those \u201cMy student soars at Eaglecrest Middle School\u201d bumper stickers let criminals know where your kid goes to school and when you might be dropping\u00a0him off.<\/span><\/p>\n

So they can race over to the school and watch you drop your\u00a0kid off.\u00a0 Then steal his lunch.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes\u2026it\u2019s all very frightening.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But what the Today Show DIDN\u2019T mention, was the zombies.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In my opinion, not mentioning the zombie activity engendered by these bumper stickers was a real mis-step on their part.\u00a0 Because it leaves the entire population unaware of all of the negative zombie ramifications.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Can you see this back window decal which I took a picture of during my own investigative reporting stint when I was reporting on bad reporting?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It says, \u201cZombies Ate My Stick Figure Family \u2013 insert bloody zombie hands here \u2013 Yours Is\u00a0Next.\u201d\"\"<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

See?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Zombies are the real problem here.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Why doesn\u2019t anyone ever mention the zombies??<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday I was running on the treadmill, reading my bookclub book AND watching the Today Show.\u00a0 Multitask much?\u00a0 Hey!\u00a0 You\u2019re talkin\u2019 to the same chick who went to grad school full-time AND worked full-time.\u00a0 Or who worked full-time AND chaired the annual school fundraiser THREE YEARS IN A ROW.\u00a0 So don\u2019t mess with me.\u00a0 I\u2019ll […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[56,58,57,59],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3262"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3274,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262\/revisions\/3274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}