{"id":3253,"date":"2014-05-15T08:12:27","date_gmt":"2014-05-15T14:12:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3253"},"modified":"2014-05-15T08:12:27","modified_gmt":"2014-05-15T14:12:27","slug":"the-chick-fil-a-princess-bride","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3253","title":{"rendered":"The Chick-fil-A Princess Bride"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you eaten at Chick-fil-A lately?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because when you do, it\u2019s kinda like starring as the Princess in your very own Princess Bride movie.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>This, I highly recommend.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Cept instead of\u00a0Cary Elwes as Westley-the-Stable-Boy character in said movie, it\u2019s mostly older women and teenage girls.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And instead of SAYING, \u201cAs you wish\u201d like Cary Westley would, the Chick-fil-A folks say \u201cMy pleasure,\u201d when you ask them to roll themselves down the hill.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hey!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Just frickin\u2019 GO with it!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Why do you always have to break out the Negative Nancy talk about it actually NOT being the same thing.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because if you can\u2019t get on board with the whole love-in-the-form-of-servitude-is-very-very-similar-to-love-in-the-form-of-nuggets-with-a-side-of-ranch-delivered-directly-to-your-table-complete-with-an-offer-of-a-napkin-a-drink-refill-and-a-mint-for-later, then you should buy a piece of pie from Chick-fil-A (they sell pie, did you know that?) and shove it!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In the hole where pie goes.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Side note to this tirade: When my daughter was little she had twin plastic-headed-soft-bodied dolls.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>These dolls were Creep Factor Five Thousand dolls with their painted on forehead curl and weird bonnet all tucked up and around their staring eyes.<\/span>\u00a0 But t<\/span>he worst part was that their faces would collect an odd amount of unexplained schmutz.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They were named Fancy and Nancy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And if WE were dolls, I\u2019d be Fancy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>YOU\u2019RE Nancy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And Nancy?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You have some pie on your face.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Musta missed that HOLE when you were shovin\u2019 stuff in it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

In summation: Cary Elwes as a stable boy, ready to carry out your commands?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Nummy, num, num!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Almost as good as a fried chicken sammich, no?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But settle down.<\/span>\u00a0 Cary<\/span>\u2019s not the fella for me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because I could hip check him into a wall.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s my test.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>If<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I could hip check you into a wall, then you\u2019re not the fella for me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I have my own fella.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And I\u2019ve tried and tried to hipcheck him into the wall;\u00a0nuthin\u2019 doin\u2019.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It must be wuv, twew wuv.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hi, Honey!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you eaten at Chick-fil-A lately?\u00a0 Because when you do, it\u2019s kinda like starring as the Princess in your very own Princess Bride movie.\u00a0 This, I highly recommend. \u2018Cept instead of\u00a0Cary Elwes as Westley-the-Stable-Boy character in said movie, it\u2019s mostly older women and teenage girls.\u00a0 And instead of SAYING, \u201cAs you wish\u201d like Cary Westley […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[52,51,55,53,54,49,50],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3253"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3253"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3253\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3261,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3253\/revisions\/3261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3253"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3253"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3253"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}