{"id":3229,"date":"2014-05-11T07:50:20","date_gmt":"2014-05-11T13:50:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3229"},"modified":"2014-05-11T07:50:20","modified_gmt":"2014-05-11T13:50:20","slug":"mothers-day-2014","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3229","title":{"rendered":"Mother’s Day 2014"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Fourth Grade Mother\u2019s Day Program was this past Thursday.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The kids recited original poems-about-their-mothers (my favorite was the one entitled, \u201cMy Mother is Like a Horse.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Yeah.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And I betcha Mom\u2019s gonna feed you HAY-with-spit-in-it for dinner tonight to thank you for calling her a horse in front of all the other mothers.<\/span><\/em>) <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But before we could get to our one-cookie-and-glass-of-lemonade allotment …w<\/em><\/span>hen my son delivered my “refreshment,”\u00a0my drink was half drunk.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>I\u2019m hoping HE\u00a0was to blame for the missing lemonade, and not the teacher, or someone ELSE\u2019S son!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Either way it couldn\u2019t have been any of the other mothers because they were too busy gabbing to each other and ignoring the one dad in the crowd whose wife had to work,\u00a0while <\/span>Horse Mom stood in the corner with a feedbag on her head…<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span><\/em>t<\/span><\/span>he kids read and sang a rousing version of \u201cLove You Forever\u201d based on a book by Robert Munsch.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When the \u201cshow host\u201d announced this portion of the program, a murmur went through the crowd.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve never read this book but apparently it takes place in Creep Town, U.S.A. where it\u2019s standard practice for a mother to crawl across the floor of her son\u2019s bedroom,\u00a0to gather his sleeping form into her arms, then rock him and tell him she loves him.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s ok when the boy is two.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But when he\u2019s a married man and Mom has to drive across town and climb into his bedroom window to do this rocking biz while her son is sleeping next to his wife in their bed?!?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I think we can all agree on the Creep Town, U.S.A. thing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So all the other mothers are whispering furiously to each other.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And the kids on stage are narrating the son\u2019s life: when he\u2019s two, a teen-ager, a young adult etc.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>After each lifestage, the kids sing (in a charming, upbeat-yet-dirge-like way) the refrain the mother uses every time she does her creepy creeping, \u201cI’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My baby you’ll be.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Some of the other mothers have started to cry.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Which I CANNOT get behind, because I\u2019m stunned by the overt Creep Factor Five Thousand.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Then it\u2019s my son\u2019s turn.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019s narrating how the mother couldn\u2019t finish her final song to her son because she was too old and sick.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So the son instead goes to his mother and takes her in his arms and rocks her back and forth, back and forth and sings, \u201cI’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My MOMMY you’ll be.\u201d <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>WATERWORKS.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Beaucoup, beaucoup de\u00a0waterworks.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>(That\u2019s French for alotta tears.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Why haven\u2019t I been hired\u00a0yet?!?)<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And then?<\/span>\u00a0 T<\/span>hen the \u201cboy\u201d goes home and picks up his sleeping, infant daughter out of her crib and sings the original version of the song to her.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Waaaaaa!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!\u00a0 <\/span><\/em><–that was me doing that, not the sleeping, infant daughter.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But enough about me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>On this Mother\u2019s Day I\u2019d like to say a big thank you to my mommy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>For not being as creepy as the mommy in that story.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>(At least, not that I know of.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll have to double-check with Hubby to see if he\u2019s spotted you in our bedroom rocking me.)<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And while we\u2019re not to the rocking portion of your story yet, you can count on me when it comes!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>(Also?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I meant what I said about the diaper thing and how it\u00a0applies to those I birthed and to those who birthed me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So we\u2019re in for some laughs there.) <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But until then, Mom, I just wanted you to know<\/span>\u00a0– I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My MOMMY you’ll be.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Happy Mother\u2019s Day!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Fourth Grade Mother\u2019s Day Program was this past Thursday.\u00a0 The kids recited original poems-about-their-mothers (my favorite was the one entitled, \u201cMy Mother is Like a Horse.\u201d\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 And I betcha Mom\u2019s gonna feed you HAY-with-spit-in-it for dinner tonight to thank you for calling her a horse in front of all the other mothers.) But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[42,40,43,41],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3229"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3229"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3239,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3229\/revisions\/3239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}