{"id":3179,"date":"2014-05-02T21:32:12","date_gmt":"2014-05-03T03:32:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3179"},"modified":"2014-05-02T21:32:12","modified_gmt":"2014-05-03T03:32:12","slug":"run-for-the-roses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3179","title":{"rendered":"Run For The Roses"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Kentucky Derby is tomorrow.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And I choose my horses the way I choose lots of other important things in life: based on some complicated-yet-intuitive combination of name and color of jockey silks.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But who doesn\u2019t, really.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Where I was actually\u00a0going with all this is that\u00a0I\u00a0saw a simply scintillating news piece this morning on the Today Show about the Kentucky Derby.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Al Roker interviewed Donna Brothers who demonstrated how \u2013 during a horserace like the Derby \u2013 the jockeys will wear upwards of six pairs of goggles. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>And how, when the jockeys realize they aren\u2019t wearing ENOUGH goggles once the race has started, they begin to \u201cconserve\u201d their goggles by stripping them off one-eye-at-a-time.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So that at any given point in time, one eye is completely muddy.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And one eye is somewhat\u00a0muddy.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Uhhh\u2026either this is a brilliant plan.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Or\u00a0just a really, really hard way to get \u2018er done.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Also?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Does it remind anyone else of their slog-through-life as a new stay at home mom (not a new mother, just a new stay at home mom) who STILL hasn\u2019t found another job after she misplaced her old one with the Christmas decorations?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And who doesn\u2019t really even WANT another job but instead secretly just wants to be a witty, talented (highly-paid) blogger?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>No?!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Just me on that one???<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Because truth be told, I can\u2019t see <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>sh*t.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I couldn\u2019t see sh*t when I started this thing, and I can\u2019t see sh*t now that I\u2019m halfway through \u2013 not to mention that sinking feeling in my stomach which means I’m probably not\u00a0wearing enough goggles to make it to the finish line.\u00a0 If this stage of my life had a title it would be, “My Goggles: All crapped up and fading fast.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But let\u2019s not lose sight <\/span>did you catch THAT?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That pun about sight and SIGHT?!?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hardy, har, har on that.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>See: blogger – witty, talented above<\/span><\/em> of the most important thing here.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Which is: what\u2019s everyone doing about their teeth?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because whatever\u2019s getting in your eyes has GOT to be getting all over your teeth.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And since the goggles aren\u2019t doing squat for me anyway, I think I\u2019ll shift them down a few inches to cover my teeth.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That way, when the race is over, my smile will be megawatt.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And the rest of the jockeys ,who were so worried about where they were going (and didn\u2019t trust the horse to take \u2018em there, fast) will look like a bunch of English people from a Charles Dickens\u2019 novel hopin\u2019 for more porridge.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Please sir, mightn\u2019t I have another??<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>[And please, People-from-England, do not contact me about the negative stereotype of your teeth which I have perpetuated\u00a0in this blog.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You should have taken better care of your teeth.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Bundles of twigs rubbed on your rotted\u00a0nubbins\u00a0every fortnight clearly didn’t do the\u00a0trick and now your reputation is ruined.]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So\u00a0on this Kentucky Derby Eve, I would like to recall the fun game we play together.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The fun game where 1980\u2019s songs pop into our heads prompted by any random thing, at any point in time, for any reason at all.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Remember how we called that game \u201cAn 80\u2019s song for every moment in life?!?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Well\u2026<\/span><\/em>it’s run for the roses, as fast as you can.<\/em><\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Your fate is delivered; your moment’s at hand.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It’s the chance of a lifetime, in a lifetime of chance.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And it’s high time you joined in the dance.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0<\/em> <\/span>[This is ANOTHER reason I\u2019m keeping my teeth clean;<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>There\u2019ll be a dance afterwards.]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And yes, those ARE the lyrics from Dan Fogelberg\u2019s \u201cRun for the Roses.\u201d <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>The song was commissioned by ABC for the 106th running of the Derby in 1980. It was subsequently released as a song on Fogelberg\u2019s album <\/span>The Innocent Age<\/span><\/span> in 1981.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Every single thing about that screams 80\u2019s.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And I win this round of our fun game.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Dark Horse?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Long shot?? Trifecta of FUN??!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Whatever horse race-y term you wanna call it, I still win.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And I\u2019ll see you at the dance afterwards.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019ll recognize me because I\u2019ll be holding a red rose between my nice\u2026clean\u2026TEETH!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Kentucky Derby is tomorrow.\u00a0 And I choose my horses the way I choose lots of other important things in life: based on some complicated-yet-intuitive combination of name and color of jockey silks.\u00a0 But who doesn\u2019t, really. Where I was actually\u00a0going with all this is that\u00a0I\u00a0saw a simply scintillating news piece this morning on the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[15,16,19,17,14,18],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3179"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3179"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3191,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3179\/revisions\/3191"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}