{"id":3055,"date":"2014-04-15T15:03:31","date_gmt":"2014-04-15T21:03:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3055"},"modified":"2014-04-15T15:03:31","modified_gmt":"2014-04-15T21:03:31","slug":"boop-boop-ee-doop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3055","title":{"rendered":"Boop boop-ee doop!"},"content":{"rendered":"

All that talk about the roaring 20\u2019s yesterday gave me a hankerin\u2019 for a gin martini.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Daisy and Tom say \u201chi\u201d by the way.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Obscure literary reference aside, actually it was the boop boop-ee doop thing that started me thinking of something else\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Back when I had a job (THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>stink eye, stink eye<\/span><\/em>) there was a time when several colleagues in my group worked remotely \u2013 in some combination of home or regional offices.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In other words, there were plenty of us who weren\u2019t located at the Mothership\u2026er\u2026company headquarters.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This life-goes-on-outside-the-Mothership was such a bizarre concept for those employees who had been fully subsumed into the Borg that they had to come up with a name for us to fully encapsulate our appalling, renegade spirit.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The name?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Remotees.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I know you were trying to make US\u00a0sound like robots to deflect some of the robot talk from your ownselves, ya Borgy Borgers!<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

But we Remotees fully embraced the term.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And even went so far as to make the title completely soul-less by eliminating names and instead giving ourselves numbers.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I was Remotee Three.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And whenever we needed to ping each other during work via instant messaging, we would have some fun with it, \u201cRemotee Three requests access to Remotee Four.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Please respond, Remotee Four.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And we would throw in\u00a0\u201cbeep boop\u201d or similar roboty noise-words to add to the fun.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Mostly this \u201cinstant chat\u201d stuff would go on during conference calls being led by the Borg at the Mothership.<\/span><\/p>\n

One such time, when I pinged Remotee Four, he responded with, \u201cRemotee Four present and accounted for.\u00a0 Interface granted.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But instead of the expected \u201cbeep boop,\u201d he made a typo and what actually appeared on the screen was, \u201cbeep, boob!\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Change that p to a b and it becomes a whole different show, doesn\u2019t it?<\/span><\/em>\u00a0<\/em> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

At which point I begin laughing.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So I type back wondering\u00a0why that particular word got spell-corrected.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Did he use that word often?!?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He types back,\u00a0\u201cyes!\u201d and the hilarity level escalates from there.<\/span><\/p>\n

We’re typing back-and-forth.\u00a0 I\u2019m laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I can barely breathe, when my manager calls on me with a question.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d been on \u201cmute\u201d this whole time.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So when I take myself off \u201cmute\u201d the only noise that comes out is fffwheeeeeeeeeEEEE<\/span>EEEP<\/span><\/em>!<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>[picture pinching\/pulling the opening of a blown-up balloon so it makes that gawd-awful screeching noise.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Yeah.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was exactly like that.]<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Pull UP!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>PULL UP!!! <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>But I quickly realize I can\u2019t recover from this nosedive, so I hit the \u201cDisconnect\u201d button on my phone.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>When I catch my breath, I dial back into the conference call and act like I\u2019d been talking the whole time, \u201cand so those would be some quick ideas off the top of my head\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

At which point, my manager is yelling something about \u201cdidn\u2019t catch that\u2026technical difficulties!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Start again, please.\u201d\u00a0 And so I start in again.\u00a0 This time from the top.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Why won\u2019t anyone hire me?!<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>As you can see, I\u2019m fun and creative.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I think quickly on my feet.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Remotee Three available for work.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Beep, boob!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All that talk about the roaring 20\u2019s yesterday gave me a hankerin\u2019 for a gin martini.\u00a0 Daisy and Tom say \u201chi\u201d by the way. Obscure literary reference aside, actually it was the boop boop-ee doop thing that started me thinking of something else\u2026 Back when I had a job (THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP!\u00a0 stink […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3055"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3064,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions\/3064"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3055"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3055"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3055"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}