{"id":3020,"date":"2014-04-09T13:53:07","date_gmt":"2014-04-09T19:53:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3020"},"modified":"2014-04-09T13:53:07","modified_gmt":"2014-04-09T19:53:07","slug":"performance-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=3020","title":{"rendered":"Performance Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t know what YOU were thinking this blog was gonna be about; but you are a dirty bird, so I can guess.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In which case, just to set sexpectations, it\u2019s about job interviews.\u00a0 But since your mind is in the gutter, you probably misread that sentence and thought for a second I said SEXpectations instead of \u201cset EXpectations.\u201d\u00a0 Creep.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway\u2026I told the kids this morning that I was going for an interview.\u00a0 To which Sonny replied, \u201cWait!\u00a0 Will you be able to pick us up after school and make us dinner?!\u201d\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t sure if his question was referring to today, the interview day; or if it was a more long-term, far-reaching impact question.\u00a0 As in, \u201cIf you DO get the job you\u2019re interviewing for today, will you still be able to pick us up after school and make us dinner until we learn how to drive and\/or get married??\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But as I\u2019ve learned from skiing, don’t think longterm.\u00a0 Short-sighted is the way to go.\u00a0 It\u2019s best not to look past the tip of your skis as you\u2019re coming off the chairlift.\u00a0 Because if you do look, you\u2019re stunned into immobility because you realize how high up you actually are.\u00a0 And how far down you actually have to go.<\/span><\/p>\n

With this in mind Thank you, skiing.\u00a0 Turns out you are good for something, including my new-found life philosophy of not looking beyond the moment because otherwise, it scares the sh^# out of me.<\/em> I interpret Sonny\u2019s question as a \u201cright now, this moment-in-time\u201d sort of ask.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Also?\u00a0 A ride and food?!?\u00a0 Good to know someone has their priorities straight.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

So I reply, \u201cYes.\u00a0 But is that all I am to you?!\u00a0 I was telling you this because I\u2019m kinda nervous and I thought you could help me feel better about things.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So they all cluster around and do their very best to allay my anxiety.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hubby, for example, tells me to just have fun with it.\u00a0 Then he hugs me and reaches around to squeeze my a$$.\u00a0 When I jolt and try to pull away, he explains that what he\u2019s doing is akin to acupuncture.\u00a0 Everyone knows THESE wucka, wucka, wah-Ah, Ah-ah <\/em>[those were a$$cheek squeezing noises by the way] are pressure points on the human body and touching them wucka, wucka, wah-Ah, Ah-ah<\/em> releases endorphins and relieves stress.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Oh.\u00a0 Ok.\u00a0 Frankly, it didn\u2019t do a thing for me, but he had a big smile on his face when he pulled\u00a0away.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sissy didn’t\u00a0say anything as she took\u00a0his place in the hug line.\u00a0 But by the way she was swallowing, I could tell she didn’t\u00a0want me to get the job almost as much as I <\/em>don\u2019t want to get the job.\u00a0 So she just hugged me in her pubescent\u00a0I-think-I\u2019m-getting-too-old-to-hug-my-mother sort of way and moved off.\u00a0 But having her fresh, freckle face so close to mine for that brief second actually did make me feel better.\u00a0 Until I remember how I used to have a fresh, freckle face of my own.\u00a0 BACK WHEN I DIDN\u2019T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT JOBS!!!\u00a0 And we\u2019re back to square one.<\/span><\/p>\n

But not for long because Sonny comes in for his own hug.\u00a0 And having his sturdy arms around me is a treat.\u00a0 Then \u2013 as if he will shortly be imparting his usual out-of-the-mouths-of-babes brand of wisdom, he smiles at me and says, \u201cTwo words, Mom\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

KNIFE FISTS!!!!\u201d\u00a0 And starts jamming his pointified fingers into my ribs.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

Thanks, everyone.\u00a0 I feel much better about things.\u00a0 Glad we had this talk. <\/span><\/p>\n

P.S.\u00a0 Don’t know nothin’ ’bout no knife fists, you say?\u00a0\u00a0Knife Fists 101\u00a0can be found here\u00a0– http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2490<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t know what YOU were thinking this blog was gonna be about; but you are a dirty bird, so I can guess.\u00a0 In which case, just to set sexpectations, it\u2019s about job interviews.\u00a0 But since your mind is in the gutter, you probably misread that sentence and thought for a second I said SEXpectations […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3020"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3020"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3020\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3030,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3020\/revisions\/3030"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}