{"id":2943,"date":"2014-03-31T10:34:26","date_gmt":"2014-03-31T16:34:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2943"},"modified":"2014-03-31T10:34:26","modified_gmt":"2014-03-31T16:34:26","slug":"safety-zone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2943","title":{"rendered":"Safety Zone"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s pause for a moment and discuss the New Mexico (Mexican?) highway \u201cSafety Zone\u201d concept.\u00a0 What do YOU think a Safety Zone is?\u00a0 Quick!\u00a0 I\u2019ll give you three seconds to come up with an answer\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

One one thousand<\/span><\/p>\n

Two one thousand<\/span><\/p>\n

Three one thousand<\/span><\/p>\n

Ok.\u00a0 Time\u2019s up!\u00a0 And were you really reading the \u2018one one thousand\u2019 part?!\u00a0 If so, then you\u2019re worse than I am when it comes to numbers –\u00a0if you had to READ the seconds.\u00a0 Geesh.\u00a0 You should really learn them by heart.\u00a0 It makes life so much easier when you know the seconds by heart.\u00a0 Trust me.\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, what do you think a \u201cSafety Zone\u201d on the New Mexican highway system is?\u00a0 (Hmmm,\u00a0\u201cMexican\u201d seems almost racist.\u00a0 Maybe it should be New Mexico-an?)\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you thought it was a place where your car would be completely safe from UFO sightings or extraterrestrial probings\u2026then we must be TWINS!!!\u00a0 Because that\u2019s what I<\/em> thought.\u00a0 But we\u2019re both wrong.\u00a0 And you\u2019re the evil twin.\u00a0 I\u2019m the nice twin.\u00a0 Everyone always says so.<\/span><\/p>\n

A \u201cSafety Zone\u201d on the New Mexicoan (yeah, much\u00a0better) highway is where your car is LEAST safe.\u00a0 In fact, any section of highway designated a \u201cSafety Zone\u201d is extremely treacherous and is one of the highest traffic-fatality-producing stretches of road in the land.<\/span><\/p>\n

Uh\u2026.bass ackwards much?\u00a0 My suggestion for\u00a0more\u00a0specific and\u00a0descriptive signage\u00a0would go something like this:\u00a0WARNING –\u00a0YOU ARE NOW ENTERING A DEATH SECTOR.\u00a0\u00a0EXTREME CAUTION REQUIRED!!!<\/span><\/p>\n

Because Safety Zone implies that you are SAFE in this ZONE.\u00a0 Right, Twin-y twin twin?\u00a0 But you\u2019re not.\u00a0 Not by the hair of my Twin-y twin twin!\u00a0 You\u2019re the LEAST safe in that ZONE as you have ever been.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So do not LOOK\u00a0at your MP3 player while you\u2019re in a Safety Zone!\u00a0 YOU\u2019RE NOT SAFE!\u00a0 DON\u2019T EVEN FRICKIN\u2019 GLANCE <\/em>AT IT!!\u00a0 THIS IS EXACTLY<\/em> WHAT I\u2019VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT!!!<\/em> \u00a0\u00a0EYES ON THE ROAAAAADDDDD!!!<\/em><\/strong> (Hi, Hubby.\u00a0 Remember how much fun we had with that?\u00a0 When that gust of wind came along??\u00a0 Awwww\u2026fun times.\u00a0 Fun, fun New Mexicoan roadtrip times.\u00a0 When we learned about Safety Zones.\u00a0 So fun.)<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s it.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I wanted to say about the New Mexicoan highway Safety Zone concept.\u00a0 Other than this:\u00a0 Does anyone else have that song* stuck in their head now??\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y!\u00a0 <\/span>
\nSafe, ZONE!\u00a0 <\/span>
\nSafety zone\u00a0 <\/span>
\nIs it safe to zone\u00a0 <\/span>
\nIs it safe to zone [Refrain 6x]<\/span><\/p>\n

*Why yes, that is a riff on \u201cSafety Dance.\u201d\u00a0 By Men Without Hats.\u00a0 Released in the U.S. in March of 1983.\u00a0 And I continue to give you a complete FACIAL when it comes to the \u201c80\u2019s song for every moment in life\u201d game we play.\u00a0 Beware!\u00a0 You are now entering an 80’s song SAFETY ZONE!\u00a0 Is it safe to zone?!?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s pause for a moment and discuss the New Mexico (Mexican?) highway \u201cSafety Zone\u201d concept.\u00a0 What do YOU think a Safety Zone is?\u00a0 Quick!\u00a0 I\u2019ll give you three seconds to come up with an answer\u2026 One one thousand Two one thousand Three one thousand Ok.\u00a0 Time\u2019s up!\u00a0 And were you really reading the \u2018one one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2943"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2943"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2943\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2963,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2943\/revisions\/2963"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}