{"id":2811,"date":"2014-03-12T10:19:06","date_gmt":"2014-03-12T16:19:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2811"},"modified":"2014-03-12T10:19:06","modified_gmt":"2014-03-12T16:19:06","slug":"duck-duck-goose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2811","title":{"rendered":"Duck…duck…GOOSE!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ya wanna know the ONE joke guaranteed to make my husband laugh every time?\u00a0 I just got a goose – and it\u2019s not even Christmas!!\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hmmm.\u00a0 Falls a little flat on paper, doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 So maybe it\u2019s more of an \u201cin person\u201d sort of thing;\u00a0Because in person, it\u2019s a regular laugh riot.\u00a0 Especially if I say it in a southern accent.\u00a0 Immediately after my husband gooses me.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But enough about me.\u00a0 What about that goose?\u00a0 Do you ever see that goose?!\u00a0 That one Canada goose in the sky.\u00a0 Flappin\u2019 off to somewhere and honkin\u2019 like a madman.\u00a0 What goose did YOU think I was talking about, ya dirty bird?\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah!\u00a0 What\u2019s UP with that goose?!\u00a0 Did HE just get a Christmas goose?\u00a0\u00a0Or is the flock playing some sort of practical joke on him??<\/span><\/p>\n

For some reason, whenever I see that lone goose tearing across the sky \u2013 I\u2019m reminded of the joke we used to play on the boys during quiet reading time in grade school.\u00a0 We\u2019d wait.\u00a0 And wait.\u00a0 Until the chosen boy was deep into his reading material.\u00a0 Then we\u2019d tap him on the shoulder and say, \u201cSister Germaine* just called you!\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you hear her?\u201d\u00a0 At which point he\u2019d get all panicked and JUMP UP!<\/em> out of his seat and go racing to the front of the room, honkin\u2019 and flappin\u2019.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Now that\u2019s funny enough, but my most triumphant work in this area came when the boy whose shoulder I tapped actually had a leg that had fallen asleep.\u00a0 But I\/he didn\u2019t realize it until he had JUMPED UP!<\/em> out of his seat.\u00a0 Only to SLAM!<\/em> into the desk across from him as his leg crumpled underneath.\u00a0 But not to be deterred \u2013 Sister Germaine had \u201ccalled\u201d him afterall \u2013 he proceeded to careen up the aisle.\u00a0 Lurching right and overcorrecting left.\u00a0 A final heave-ho brought him to Sister\u2019s desk.\u00a0 Whereupon he gasped, \u201cI\u2019m here!\u201d\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

She calmly looked up from grading papers and said, \u201cWhat are you doing?\u00a0 Go sit down.\u201d\u00a0 So he turned around and gamely staggered back.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mystery solved!\u00a0 That, my friends, is where that looney-tune\u00a0goose is headed.\u00a0 To Sister Germaine\u2019s desk.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*Yes, her name was really Sister Germaine.\u00a0 She was my 8<\/span>th<\/span><\/sup> grade teacher.\u00a0 There was\u00a0also\u00a0a Sister Cletus.\u00a0 She taught science.\u00a0 And yes, THAT was really HER name.\u00a0 And?\u00a0 She looked like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.\u00a0 How fun is that?!?\u00a0 Now I\u2019m going to hell.\u00a0 And now I swore.\u00a0 Thanks a lot.\u00a0 Is it Christmas yet?\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ya wanna know the ONE joke guaranteed to make my husband laugh every time?\u00a0 I just got a goose – and it\u2019s not even Christmas!!\u00a0 Hmmm.\u00a0 Falls a little flat on paper, doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 So maybe it\u2019s more of an \u201cin person\u201d sort of thing;\u00a0Because in person, it\u2019s a regular laugh riot.\u00a0 Especially if I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2811"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2811"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2811\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2825,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2811\/revisions\/2825"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2811"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2811"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2811"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}