{"id":2699,"date":"2014-02-26T09:41:07","date_gmt":"2014-02-26T16:41:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2699"},"modified":"2014-02-26T09:41:07","modified_gmt":"2014-02-26T16:41:07","slug":"make-mine-a-double","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2699","title":{"rendered":"Make Mine a Double!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A MIXED\u00a0Double, that is.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hubby and I have joined the mixed doubles tennis team at the local country club.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

And just to clarify, Hubby is waaaaaay better at tennis than I am.\u00a0 Surprise, surprise.\u00a0 Because really, who isn\u2019t?\u00a0 But in my defense, he\u2019s got some physical advantages that help.\u00a0 First off, he\u2019s 6 feet 4 inches tall and has the wingspan of a pterodactyl.\u00a0 AND he\u2019s a former collegiate baseball pitcher*.\u00a0 This means he can hit the ball HARD!\u00a0 I\u2019m glad he\u2019s on my side.\u00a0 <\/em>Also, he played tennis in highschool.\u00a0 And when I say \u201che played tennis in highschool\u201d I mean that he would hit the ball around\u00a0at the local park with some\u00a0highschool buddies\u00a0during their\u00a0summer break.\u00a0 From highschool.\u00a0\u00a0But that\u2019s all the pro heard when she first met him – that he \u201cplayed tennis in highschool,\u201d and now he\u2019s ranked a level higher than I am.\u00a0 What?\u00a0 What the WHAT??!\u00a0\u00a0<\/em> <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/em>But before we joined the mixed doubles tennis team,\u00a0being the Tennis Dope I am, I had to seek clarification from\u00a0the tennis\u00a0pro,\u00a0\u201cUh\u2026when it says MIXED, that means it\u2019s different skill levels, right?\u00a0 ‘Cause we are.\u00a0 We have.\u00a0 Different skill levels, that is.\u00a0 So this might be for us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

To her credit, the pro replied with a very calm, \u201cNo\u2026.\u2018mixed\u2019 refers to genders.\u00a0 Whenever you see \u2018mixed\u2019 in tennis, that means it\u2019s going to be different GENDERS.\u201d\u00a0 But I could tell it was said in the same artificially composed tone of voice a kindergarten teacher uses\u00a0right before she starts smacking heads.\u00a0 This is why I could never be a kindergarten teacher \u2013 or a tennis pro.\u00a0 Too much head-smacking.\u00a0 Which would hurt my arm.\u00a0 Which already hurts from tennis.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Anywho,\u00a0this week-end, to really kick our Mixed Doubles Tennis\u00a0Effort off in style, we played in\u00a0a Mixed Doubles Mixer.\u00a0 (Come on!\u00a0 The name alone implies there was\u00a0gonna be tons of alcoholic bevvies.\u00a0 But, nope.\u00a0 Nuthin\u2019 doin\u2019.\u00a0 Turns out the only drink being offered was\u00a0SoBe water in cough syrup flavor.)\u00a0 But pay that no never mind.\u00a0 What I really wanted to say is that Hubby and I\u00a0ended up winning.\u00a0 YAY!!!\u00a0<\/em> But it was mostly due to Hubby starring in the role of Gorilla At The Net.\u00a0 He can knock those teeny tiny planes outta the sky like nobody\u2019s business.\u00a0 And from where I was standing (waaaaay in the back…almost completely OFF the court…kinda like I wasn’t even playing at all…and was\u00a0just WATCHING everyone play), I could\u00a0see his shadow stretching up, up, up and over the net and creeping across half\u00a0the opposing side.\u00a0 Boom!\u00a0 BOOM!\u00a0 BOOM!!<\/em>\u00a0 (That was the sound of him walking onto the court like King Kong.\u00a0 Me funny.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Admittedly, there were only two other couples playing.\u00a0 And there may have been a few rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine standings.\u00a0 Also?\u00a0 The husband of the first couple served his ball right into his wife\u2019s back at the beginning of the match which\u2026uhhh\u2026totally pissed her off and\u00a0disrupted their loving married couple vibe for a bit.\u00a0 (There may have also been swear words.\u00a0 But we\u2019ll keep that private.\u00a0 What I will tell you, though, is that the other wives present used it as a teaching moment for their respective spouses.\u00a0 The teaching moment started with: So help me, if you EVER do that to ME<\/em>\u2026)\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It also bears mentioning that the woman on the second doubles team is recovering from a broken heel bone and plantar fascia tear.\u00a0\u00a0But screw that!\u00a0 That\u2019s not my problem.\u00a0 I don\u2019t care HOW banged up ya are.\u00a0 I\u2019m here to win!\u00a0 Do you have a pro?!\u00a0 \u2018Cause I do.\u00a0 And she says I\u2019m here to win.\u00a0 Which means you could bring on the whole\u00a0cast of that \u201cSpirit of \u201876\u201d painting – including the dude with the bloody head bandage \u2013 and I’m gonna do my best to take ’em\u00a0down.\u00a0 I\u2019m in it to win it!\u00a0 As long as I\u2019ve got my trusty pterodactyl ape-man\u00a0by my side.\u00a0 Well, that…and some well-timed\u00a0Rock, Paper, Scissors.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*One time I went with Hubby-Then-Boyfriend to a Zephyrs game.\u00a0 Remember the Denver Zephyrs?\u00a0 They were Colorado\u2019s baseball team before the Rockies were a speck on the horizon.\u00a0 I\u2019m FULL of fun facts, aren\u2019t I?\u00a0 Funny AND Full o\u2019 Fun Facts?!\u00a0 Whatagal!\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0At the game they had this caged-in area where you could measure your pitching speed.\u00a0 (You see the similarities now, right.\u00a0 CAGES??\u00a0 Need I mention more?)\u00a0 So HTB climbed in while scratching under both arms simultaneously <\/span>(ooh-ooh!\u00a0 aah-aah!)\u00a0and pitched a few balls, the fastest of which was 93 MPH.\u00a0 A star-struck boy standing outside the cage and holding out bananas looked at HTB in awe and said, \u201cWow, Mister.\u00a0 You should play for the Zephyrs!\u201d\u00a0 In summation, I am glad Hubby is on my side.\u00a0 Because I wouldn\u2019t wanna face THAT across the net.\u00a0 He\u2019s got the power!\u00a0 And you know what THAT means, don’t you?\u00a0 It means…I’VE<\/em> GOT THE POWER!\u00a0\u00a0[\u201cI\u2019ve Got the Power\u201d by Snap!, <\/em>released in January 1990 – which is close enough to the 80\u2019s so as to actually BE the 80\u2019s.\u00a0 NOWWWW who\u2019s got the power in this little game we’re playing entitled “80’s song for every moment in life?!”\u00a0 Yep.\u00a0 I thought so.]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A MIXED\u00a0Double, that is. Hubby and I have joined the mixed doubles tennis team at the local country club.\u00a0 And just to clarify, Hubby is waaaaaay better at tennis than I am.\u00a0 Surprise, surprise.\u00a0 Because really, who isn\u2019t?\u00a0 But in my defense, he\u2019s got some physical advantages that help.\u00a0 First off, he\u2019s 6 feet 4 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2699"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2699"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2716,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2699\/revisions\/2716"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}