{"id":2688,"date":"2014-02-25T10:05:53","date_gmt":"2014-02-25T17:05:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2688"},"modified":"2014-02-25T10:05:53","modified_gmt":"2014-02-25T17:05:53","slug":"job-interview-tips-n-tricks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2688","title":{"rendered":"Job Interview Tips n’ Tricks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Before you even consider going on a job\u00a0interview, get a suit.\u00a0\u00a0This is absolutely necessary.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been on interviews where they say, \u201cDON\u2019T wear a suit!\u201d to let you know how casual and cutting-edge their organization is.\u00a0 But if you’re reading this, then you’re\u00a0never\u00a0gonna get that kind of\u00a0job.\u00a0 Instead,\u00a0there will come a time when you MUST wear a suit.\u00a0 So, make sure you have one \u2013 preferably black, purchased at Kohl\u2019s with your 30% off coupon.\u00a0 And since the suit will be just over the fifty-buck mark, you\u2019ll get $10 back in Kohl\u2019s Cash thankyouverymuch.\u00a0 Admittedly, the black of the pants doesn\u2019t\u2026quite\u2026match the black of the blazer.\u00a0 But that\u2019s fine.\u00a0 We\u2019re not doing the matchy-matchy thing anymore.\u00a0 That was so 80\u2019s.\u00a0 Also, the slightly mis-matched suit makes you look like you need a job.\u00a0 Perfect!\u00a0 Because you\u2019re going on an interview.\u00a0 For a job.<\/span><\/p>\n

Prior to the interview, ensure that you\u2019ve looked up your interviewers on LinkedIn and have researched the company and the role blah, blah, BLAH!<\/span><\/p>\n

What is key here is to research which unique item you\u2019ll be wearing WITH your mis-matched black suit.\u00a0 Since you\u2019re going for \u201cmemorable in the minds of your interviewers\u201d some people prefer to wear a distinctive pin.\u00a0 Or a colorful scarf.\u00a0 I personally prefer to just be getting over a cold and therefore have a red, crusty patch of flaky skin right below my nose.\u00a0 It\u2019s distinctive and makes people wonder what you\u2019ve been doing with your free time.\u00a0 If the interview timing is off, and you\u2019ve fully recovered from your cold, then one or two huge stress zits will do.\u00a0 It\u2019s all the better if you can ensure that your stress zit either a) sits to the side of your nose and is\u00a0so huge that it\u00a0slightly squeezes one eye shut or b) sits on the very tip of your nose so as to slightly skew your entire schnoz\u00a0to the right.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re going for \u201cmemorable\u201d so if you can touch the zit DURING the interview just to see if it still hurts\u2026ow! still hurts\u2026.ow! yep, still hurts<\/em>\u2026then do so.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you can\u2019t work up a zit in or around your nose \u2013 then in a pinch \u2013 <\/span>a slew of chin zits will do.\u00a0 But in the case of chin zits, make sure to spackle the hell out of the entire chin so that it looks like you\u2019re wearing a prosthesis of some sort.\u00a0 And since I\u2019m not trying to offend those with prosthetic chins, I\u2019ll instead\u00a0describe the look you\u2019re going for as some sort of transgender effort to cover up your 5 o\u2019clock shadow.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And since I\u2019m not trying to offend transgender folks either, we\u2019ll now move along to the actual interview itself.\u00a0\u00a0Make sure you start off the interview with a joke or two.\u00a0 Recently I found myself facing a set of back-to-back interview panels\u00a0scheduled with\u00a0six men.\u00a0 Naw, not intimidating to ME at all.\u00a0 But to defray any nerves THEY might have felt about the situation,\u00a0before we got started I said to those gathered, \u201cYou\u2019re not gonna make me run through any football drills are you?\u201d\u00a0 Judging by how hard one fella laughed at that comment, I\u2019m pretty sure they\u00a0were\u00a0originally considering it.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

No matter.\u00a0 Talk about yourself in a bragg-y sort of way.\u00a0 But not too bragg-y, mind you.\u00a0 It\u2019s a fine line.\u00a0 Know it.\u00a0 Walk it!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Also?\u00a0 Ask insightful questions about corporate culture and how success would be defined for the position currently under consideration.\u00a0 Throw in some comments about \u201cvalue-add\u201d and \u201cstrengths.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0And whatever you do, be sure to turn that dreaded question around.\u00a0 Which question?\u00a0 Why that question where they ask, \u201cdescribe a project that didn\u2019t go so well for you.\u201d\u00a0 Yep.\u00a0 That question can always be turned around so that you SHINE;\u00a0turn that frown upside down every chance you get.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And there you are!\u00a0 You have just weathered another successful interview!\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

When you get back to our car, look in the rearview mirror and note the dried eye booger that must have been there the ENTIRE time.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

Oh,\u00a0I almost forgot!\u00a0 Thank you notes.\u00a0 Don’t bother to send ’em.\u00a0 You didn’t get the job anyway.\u00a0 See “dried eye booger” above.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Before you even consider going on a job\u00a0interview, get a suit.\u00a0\u00a0This is absolutely necessary.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been on interviews where they say, \u201cDON\u2019T wear a suit!\u201d to let you know how casual and cutting-edge their organization is.\u00a0 But if you’re reading this, then you’re\u00a0never\u00a0gonna get that kind of\u00a0job.\u00a0 Instead,\u00a0there will come a time when you MUST […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2688"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2688"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2688\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2698,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2688\/revisions\/2698"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}