{"id":2631,"date":"2014-02-14T14:39:16","date_gmt":"2014-02-14T21:39:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2631"},"modified":"2014-02-16T10:43:26","modified_gmt":"2014-02-16T17:43:26","slug":"drunko","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2631","title":{"rendered":"Drunko"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whoopsie!\u00a0 Tee-hee-hee\u2026did I say DRUNKO?!\u00a0 Because I actually meant BUNCO.\u00a0 Which is a new dice game I learned this week.\u00a0 But it could totally be called Drunko.\u00a0 Because there\u2019s a lot of drinking.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 Of drinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

This Maiden Bunco Voyage o\u2019mine occurred at the local country club.\u00a0 Where I was the only woman in my 40\u2019s.\u00a0 There was one woman in her 50\u2019s and the rest of them were 65 or older if they were a day.\u00a0 And these gals are CUT THROAT when it comes to Bunco.\u00a0\u00a0 Because money is involved.\u00a0\u00a0 And drinking.\u00a0\u00a0 But I already mentioned the drinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

What I may not have mentioned yet was that \u2013 in honor of the Olympics \u2013 the country club was handing out free Moscow Mule drinks to the Bunco players.\u00a0 Uh-huh.\u00a0 So now you can see where this is all headed, right?\u00a0 <\/em>But before we get there, here\u2019s what I have to say about Moscow Mules:<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019re fun\u2026until they kick your teeth in.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And then?\u00a0 \u00a0Then you wonder where your teeth went.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the meantime, does anyone else think Moscow Mules taste like Christmas potpourri mixed with gingerale?\u00a0 But they do come in these nifty little copper cups with handles.\u00a0 (And no, to the lady in the corner who was starting a copper cup collection: you don\u2019t get to KEEP the copper cups.\u00a0 You have to return them at the end of the night. \u00a0But nice try.)\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

The old-timey copper cup has the added benefit of making you feel like a Miner Forty Niner.\u00a0 All you\u2019d need in order to complete the mental Miner picture is a tin plate of beans warmed up over the fire.<\/span><\/p>\n

So there you are.\u00a0\u00a0 Drinking Moscow Mules and rolling dice with a bunch of 65-year-old miners who are wearing the most beautiful diamond rings you\u2019ve ever seen in your life.\u00a0 I mean these monsters are FLASHING in the lights as their owners are rolling, rolling, rolling dice for dollars.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re maybe following the rules.\u00a0 Maybe not.\u00a0 But you have a partner.\u00a0 Who\u2019s keeping you on track.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Unless YOU were supposed to be the partner keeping track of the track?\u00a0 Uh-oh.\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A bell rings at the head table and you begin.\u00a0 First there\u2019s a 1\u2019s round.\u00a0 Then a 2\u2019s round.\u00a0 And so forth.\u00a0 During the 1\u2019s round, the 1\u2019s count as 1.\u00a0 Unless you roll three of them all-at-once.\u00a0 In which case that\u2019s \u201cBunco\u201d and it\u2019s worth twenty-one points.\u00a0 When that round is over, you move on to the 2\u2019s round.\u00a0 During the 2\u2019s round, every time you roll a 2, they count as 1.\u00a0 Oh crap!\u00a0 Is it just me, or is the math getting harder?\u00a0 Another Moscow Mule, please!<\/em>\u00a0 And when you roll three 1\u2019s like last round, it\u2019s actually no longer Bunco, but something called Funco.\u00a0 Normally a Funco would count as 5 points but because Head Granny said that 1\u2019s were something called \u201cWipeout\u201d you now LOSE all your\u00a0points AND your partner\u2019s points.\u00a0 Wait!\u00a0 Whaaaat?!\u00a0 WTF??\u00a0 Another Moscow Mule NOW!\u00a0 I thought this was gonna be a GAME!\u00a0 What\u2019s up with all this MATH?!??\u00a0 And my partner SUCKS!\u00a0 Unless I\u2019M the sucky partner?!??<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You work your way up through the 3\u2019s, 4\u2019s and 5\u2019s to the 6\u2019s and then you start all over again with 1\u2019s.\u00a0 It\u2019s getting louder and rowdier.\u00a0 Everyone\u2019s face is beet red.\u00a0 And they\u2019re morse-coding the light reflected from their rings right into your eyes.\u00a0 Women are stumbling over to the snack table piled high with peanuts and sugar cookies.\u00a0 There\u2019s laughter, math and a bell ringing off in the distance \u2013 or in your head.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And then?\u00a0 And THEN??\u00a0 You get your teeth kicked in.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But it\u2019s ok.\u00a0 Because everyone else has just had their teeth kicked in too.\u00a0 So now the room completely resembles the annual meeting of the Toothless Miner Forty Niners club.\u00a0 Everyone has\u00a0an old-timey copper cup in one hand.\u00a0 Our noses\u00a0are touching our chins,\u00a0our\u00a0faded red flannel shirts need a good wash, and\u00a0just about everyone there could use a\u00a0new pair of suspenders.\u00a0 W<\/span><\/span>e’re all\u00a0huddled over a pile of teeth in the center of the table.\u00a0 Trying to sort out whose teeth are whose.\u00a0 And no one\u2019s making any headway.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

I look BAD without any teeth;\u00a0I never did find them.\u00a0 But\u00a0I\u00a0struck gold – and\u00a0won twenty-five bucks.\u00a0\u00a0 Gee-gee-gee-gee <\/em>[insert toothless laughter here]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s how you drink Moscow Mules.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Wait!\u00a0 Were we talking about something else?\u00a0 Why do I feel like we were talking about something else?!\u00a0\u00a0 Oh.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 It’s Valentine’s Day…that must have been what we were just talking about.\u00a0 Happy Valentine\u2019s Day!\u00a0 \u00a0Hash\u00a0anyone sheen my teeshth??<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whoopsie!\u00a0 Tee-hee-hee\u2026did I say DRUNKO?!\u00a0 Because I actually meant BUNCO.\u00a0 Which is a new dice game I learned this week.\u00a0 But it could totally be called Drunko.\u00a0 Because there\u2019s a lot of drinking.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 Of drinking. This Maiden Bunco Voyage o\u2019mine occurred at the local country club.\u00a0 Where I was the only woman in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2631"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2645,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631\/revisions\/2645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}