{"id":2555,"date":"2014-02-03T12:02:15","date_gmt":"2014-02-03T19:02:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2555"},"modified":"2014-02-03T12:02:15","modified_gmt":"2014-02-03T19:02:15","slug":"super-bowl-xlviii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2555","title":{"rendered":"Super Bowl XLVIII"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yes, you knew I was gonna go there.\u00a0 But before we even get started on that, I have to state for the record that I hate<\/em>\u00a0Roman Numerals.\u00a0 If football is an AMERICAN sport, why are we using ROMAN numerals to tell us where we\u2019re at here??\u00a0 Because\u00a0<\/span><\/span>I don\u2019t get Roman Numerals.\u00a0 Not now, not ever.\u00a0 They\u2019re too much like math.\u00a0 In fact, if you put pi-to-the-tenth-decimal-place after the words \u2018Super Bowl,\u2019 \u00a0I\u2019d like it slightly better.\u00a0 Metric conversions after the word \u2018Super Bowl?\u2019\u00a0 Yep, still better than Roman Numerals.\u00a0 Because making me translate numbers \u2013 in the form of letters \u2013 back into numbers \u2013 so that I can add them up in my native language?!\u00a0 Utterly stupid.\u00a0 And that\u2019s why I secretly refer to this event as the Stupid Bowl.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So\u2026where were we headed until I did my Roman Numeral diatribe?\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 We were talking about yesterday\u2019s Stupid Bowl.\u00a0 Stupid Bowl Sixty-Eight* to be exact.<\/span><\/p>\n

First off, what the BLEEP was Joe Namath wearing?? \u00a0Hey Joe!\u00a0 Liberace called from beyond-the-grave where he just rolled\u00a0over, and he wants his coat back!\u00a0 You shoulda just stuck\u00a0with the pantyhose and the Noxzema face cream, because now PETA is gunnin\u2019 for your cross-dressing a$$!<\/span><\/p>\n

And that part \u2013 pretty much right there at the very beginning??\u00a0 Well, Fur Coat McGee\u2019s SECOND coin toss would be the very beginning.\u00a0 So right after THAT.<\/em>\u00a0 Where Peyton Manning watches the ball go sailing off to his right, while he rolls his eye like a big Doberhuahua?\u00a0 That part was totally awful to witness.\u00a0 Totally.\u00a0 Awful.\u00a0 Uh\u2026Omaha!, Omaha!, we have a problem.<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Now you have to understand that I only used the Stupid Bowl this year as an excuse to crochet a bunch of orange-and-blue crap.\u00a0 (Because when do you ever have an excuse to crochet orange-and-blue scarves?\u00a0 Boot cuffs??\u00a0 Never.\u00a0 Good excuse, see?)\u00a0 And\u00a0I don\u2019t really<\/em> care about the football end\u00a0of it.\u00a0 But even I<\/em> was p.o.\u2019d about that ball-sailing-off-into-space\u00a0move.<\/span><\/p>\n

But perhaps it wasn\u2019t the bad football playing that did the Broncos in?\u00a0 \u2018Cause I saw some bad ref-ing, so maybe that was the problem?\u00a0 In fact, at one point, I saw the ref call the Broncos for \u201ctraveling.\u201d\u00a0 Admittedly, I don\u2019t know much about football, but trust me when I say I\u2019ve spent all winter watching 6th grade girls play basketball.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve seen a LOT of traveling.\u00a0 And I know the international ref symbol for traveling when I see it.\u00a0 And I coulda sworn the Broncos weren\u2019t traveling.<\/span><\/p>\n

But enough about football during the football game.\u00a0 \u2018Cause we have GOT to discuss the half-time show.\u00a0 Because when the football game isn\u2019t about the commercials, it\u2019s about the half-time show, right?\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s my personal opinion that Bruno Mars was a class act with an olde timey Ricci Ricardo nightclub vibe.\u00a0 \u00a0But the Red Hot Chili Peppers?\u00a0 Wack.\u00a0 And what was on Head Pepper’s legs?\u00a0 It looked like support hose, but with cartoon panels.\u00a0\u00a0It reminded me of those tat sleeves you can get at Halloween \u2013 that make your arms look like you have tattoos all up and down them.\u00a0\u00a0Except Head Pepper’s leg thingies weren’t as sheer as\u00a0tat sleeves.\u00a0 And they were on his legs, not his arms.\u00a0\u00a0Ok, so nothing like Halloween\u00a0faux tat\u00a0sleeves, but puzzling-as-a-fashion-choice nonetheless.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s pretty much it.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I got for Stupid Bowl Sixty-Eight.\u00a0 Because right about point 36 for\u00a0the Seahawks, Hubby was so disgusted that he took his Broncos shirt off,\u00a0put his Eagles shirt on, and we switched to Puppy Bowl X**.\u00a0 (THEY\u00a0do Roman Numerals too.\u00a0 I\u2019m so MAD!\u00a0 LEAVE THE POOR PUPPIES OUT OF IT!)<\/span><\/p>\n

But speaking of the Eagles\u2026did anyone catch that part where the\u00a0camera kept\u00a0panning to that eagle on the sidelines?\u00a0 That was weird.\u00a0 Since PETA was there checking on Joe\u2019s jacket, they shoulda checked into that eagle thing as well.\u00a0 That didn’t seem right.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*See?\u00a0 I have to do the math for you TOO, don\u2019t I?? \u00a0In Roman Numeral Land we all know that X = 10, L = 50, V=5, and I = 1.\u00a0 Does the sick feeling in my stomach mean that\u00a0there should be some subtraction in this problem…or that I have\u00a0the value for X wrong?\u00a0\u00a0Does\u00a0X really equal\u00a0100 and\u00a0you’re supposed to subtract all the letters\u00a0listed after X?!\u00a0 Hmmmm.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, I’m pretty sure X only equals\u00a0100 when it’s listed all by\u00a0itself; and X equals 10 when it’s listed WITH other letters.\u00a0\u00a0So,\u00a0ignoring all\u00a0subtraction\u00a0and just working on the sunny side of the street, the problem looks something like this:\u00a010+50+5+1+1+1 = 68.\u00a0 Stupid Bowl 68.\u00a0 Have I mentioned that I HATE Roman Numerals?!\u00a0 Gah!\u00a0 In English next time, please.<\/span><\/p>\n

**The X here refers to 100.\u00a0\u00a0Because you need to remember that arcane rule: when X\u00a0is by itself, it equals 100.\u00a0\u00a0So we’re talking about Puppy Bowl 100.\u00a0\u00a0And while on the surface it would seem puzzling that they would have MORE Puppy Bowls than Stupid Bowls, it’s important to note that they actually got the idea for Stupid Bowl FROM Puppy Bowl.\u00a0 Also?\u00a0 The Puppy Bowl is so cute they sometimes play it twice a year.\u00a0 So Puppy Bowl 100 makes perfect sense.\u00a0 On a more personal note, I still DETEST Roman Numerals but I think I’m finally getting the hang of them.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, you knew I was gonna go there.\u00a0 But before we even get started on that, I have to state for the record that I hate\u00a0Roman Numerals.\u00a0 If football is an AMERICAN sport, why are we using ROMAN numerals to tell us where we\u2019re at here??\u00a0 Because\u00a0I don\u2019t get Roman Numerals.\u00a0 Not now, not ever.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2555"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2555"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2555\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2566,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2555\/revisions\/2566"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2555"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2555"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2555"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}