{"id":2546,"date":"2014-01-31T13:20:46","date_gmt":"2014-01-31T20:20:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2546"},"modified":"2014-01-31T13:20:46","modified_gmt":"2014-01-31T20:20:46","slug":"of-airport-elevators-and-australian-cattle-dogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2546","title":{"rendered":"Of Airport Elevators and Australian Cattle Dogs"},"content":{"rendered":"

When Hubby & I were first married, one of the requirements of a program we were piloting* was to have a golden retriever and buy it high-end dog food from one of those\u00a0boutique pet stores.\u00a0 Check and\u2026check!<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What was particularly fun about the pet store we frequented was that it had a pet!\u00a0 See – fun, right?!\u00a0 The pet was one of those Australian Cattle Dogs.\u00a0 You know the type: coarse, mottled fur; looks like it\u2019s made out of two different dogs fused together in the Frankensteinerator; mad herding instinct that cannot be domesticated out of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

As soon as you walked into the store, the dog would come over and herd you in.\u00a0 To the store you were already coming in to anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n

It would just get behind you and follow you down whichever aisle you were going to and then, when it was convinced you were safely on your way to your destination, it would break off and go back to the door to await its next herding assignment.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, when I was coming home from a recent trip to Cal-i-for-Nigh-Ay, I encountered a man who TOTALLY reminded me of that Australian Cattle Dog.\u00a0 He was waiting outside the parking garage elevator.\u00a0 Anxious to help move forward a process-which-was-already-moving-forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

His physical characteristics had nothing to do with why he struck me as Dog Man.\u00a0 Rather, it was the herding mannerism which kicked in when a bunch of travelers walked up and the elevator arrived.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dog Man turns to everyone in the general vicinity and announces that the elevator is here and asks who\u2019s getting on.\u00a0 Like allofasudden he\u2019s Elevator Welcoming and Loading Committee or unnecessary herding dog or something.\u00a0 We\u2019re all here, Dog Man, because we were already committed to the elevator process in some way.\u00a0 But thanks for asking.<\/em>\u00a0 The other travelers straggle on and give Dog Man \u2013 who somehow teleported from outside the elevator to INSIDE the elevator and is now manning the number panel \u2013 their floor numbers.\u00a0 I\u2019m also in the elevator by now but I know of the top-secret SECOND number panel on the OTHER side of the door, so I just press my OWN floor number thankyouverymuch!\u00a0 Having spent the last three hours sharing half my airplane seat with a bobbing, weaving stranger <\/span>http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2523<\/span><\/a> I am no longer interacting with humans at this point. <\/span><\/p>\n

We get to Floor 4.\u00a0 And the doors open.\u00a0 And no one gets off.\u00a0 Uh\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Dog Man turns to a particularly loopy lady whose head remains\u00a0attached to her shoulders only by grace of\u00a0the bohemian scarf she has wrapped three times around her gullet and says, \u201cThis is 4.\u00a0 You asked for 4.\u00a0 Are you getting off now?\u00a0 Who else is getting off?!\u201d\u00a0 Oh my gosh, he memorized everyone\u2019s floor number?!?\u00a0 Yikes.\u00a0 Someone is super committed to elevator running.\u00a0 Unless he just wants her OUT already!\u00a0 \u2018Cause I know I want her OUT already so I can go home.\u00a0 Get OFF, LaLaLoopsy!\u00a0 In fact, EVERYONE off!!<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When the elevator is finally empty, it\u2019s just the two of us.\u00a0 And he\u2019s staring at me manning my Control Panel for One like I\u2019m a rival for Elevator Person of the Year.\u00a0 Hey, Homeslice.\u00a0 You were the one who was herding people you didn\u2019t need to be herding.\u00a0 So don\u2019t give me that look.\u00a0 <\/em>To defray the tension, out loud I say, \u201cI\u2019m just tryin\u2019 to get home so I appreciate you keeping everyone on track.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He gives me a relieved smile.\u00a0 And then ding!<\/em>\u00a0 The elevator door slides open.\u00a0 I pretend to look around, like there\u2019s lots of people still on and yell, \u201cEveryone OFF!\u201d making Let\u2019s Go!\/Come on! motions with my hands.\u00a0 Hee-hee, me funny.<\/em>\u00a0 We chuckle as we head down the aisles of cars.\u00a0 He\u2019s subtly following behind me.\u00a0 Until he breaks off.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t actually see where he went.\u00a0 But I suspect he went back to the elevator.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*We were part of the DINK pilot program.\u00a0 Do you remember that yuppie term that came into popularity in the late 80\u2019s\/early 90\u2019s?\u00a0 D<\/span>ual I<\/span>ncome N<\/span>o K<\/span>ids??\u00a0 It turns out that unbeknown to us, we were actually part of the DINKY program.\u00a0 Surprise!\u00a0 D<\/span>ual I<\/span>ncome N<\/span>o K<\/span>ids\u2026Y<\/span>ET! \u00a0And an even bigger surprise??\u00a0 We are now\u00a0part of the SITCOM program \u2013 single income, two children, outrageous mortgage.\u00a0 SURPRISE!!!!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Hubby & I were first married, one of the requirements of a program we were piloting* was to have a golden retriever and buy it high-end dog food from one of those\u00a0boutique pet stores.\u00a0 Check and\u2026check! What was particularly fun about the pet store we frequented was that it had a pet!\u00a0 See – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2546"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2546"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2546\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2554,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2546\/revisions\/2554"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2546"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2546"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2546"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}