{"id":2523,"date":"2014-01-29T13:35:05","date_gmt":"2014-01-29T20:35:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2523"},"modified":"2014-01-29T13:36:12","modified_gmt":"2014-01-29T20:36:12","slug":"armrest-airspace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2523","title":{"rendered":"Armrest Airspace"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you aware of this concept in airplane travel?\u00a0 [Yes, it\u2019s a thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s an actual thing.\u00a0 I said it\u2019s a thing and therefore….it\u2019s a thing.\u00a0 Very Good, Grasshopper<\/em>.] <\/span>Armrest Airspace is where there\u2019s an invisible line that extends from the center of the passengers’ shared armrest all the way up, up, up.\u00a0 It also extends forward and down, down, down.\u00a0 It\u2019s totally like a force field separating\u00a0the other passengers from you.\u00a0 But without all that\u00a0jolting and shocking and such.<\/span><\/p>\n

And if a fellow passenger\u2019s elbow (foot!, thigh?!) extends OVER the imaginary line, they have now entered your airspace – and are in direct violation of airspace regulations.\u00a0 And you are authorized to send out MiG fighter planes to take them down.*\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ok, kidding about the MiGs\u2026but I totally WISH there were MiGs you could sic on these airspace violators.\u00a0 Or, at a minimum, some alarm you could sound to have a swat team of flight attendants wrassle the violator to the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

But there\u2019s not.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so I\u00a0have to content myself with an eyeroll at the flight attendant about the guy on my right who is basically sitting in half of my seat.\u00a0 The flight attendant\u00a0contents herself\u00a0with an eyeroll back.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Not helpful.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

Wrasslin\u2019?\u00a0 Helpful.\u00a0 Eyerolling??\u00a0 Not so much.<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually the\u00a0seat-and-a-half guy\u00a0decides to purchase the t.v. program option.\u00a0 But first he has to get\u00a0his credit card, which is in his wallet, which is in his right back pocket, which\u00a0necessitates him leaning left, further into my airspace.\u00a0 But it\u2019s not just a slight upper body leaning motion which nudges my shoulder.\u00a0 Oh no!\u00a0 Instead, he leans ALLLLL the way OOOOOOVER, until his head is almost resting here [she says as she waves her hand in a circular motion indicating the highly valued area of\u00a0the lap-to-breastesses continuum<\/em>].<\/span><\/p>\n

And this, my friends?\u00a0 This is much MORE than a mere violation of Armrest Airspace.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure WHAT this is a violation of (OSHA?\u00a0 Hazmat??\u00a0 EEOC?!?\u00a0 All of the above??!?), but it\u2019s a violation all the same.\u00a0 MiGs!\u00a0 MIIIIIIGS!!!!\u00a0 WHERE ARE YOU, MIIIIIIIIGSSSSSS?!??!\u00a0 SEND IN THE MIGS…NOW!!!!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

*And it\u2019s baaaaack!\u00a0 Remember that fun game we were playing where an 80\u2019s song would pop into our heads? Triggered by nothing more than a word, a phrase, a moment in life??\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s baaaaack!\u00a0 And now that highly acclaimed Kenny Logins\u2019 song is playing in my head: \u201cHighway to the Danger Zone.\u201d\u00a0 Do you remember that song?\u00a0 From the movie Top Gun<\/em> with Tom Cruise?!?\u00a0 The song was recorded and released in 1986!\u00a0 And yay!\u00a0 I win!\u00a0 Again!! \u00a0What are the odds of that?\u00a0 That I would continue to win this game that I invented and am the sole participant of?!?\u00a0 But why am I thinking of this song?\u00a0 Because there\u2019s a scene in the movie where Maverick and Cougar\u00a0are being chased by MiG fighter planes over the Indian Ocean.\u00a0 One of the MiGs gets a lock on Cougar\u2019s plane and\u2026ok.\u00a0 I could go on and on here.\u00a0 But I won\u2019t.\u00a0 Other than to say it was the liiiiiittle tiiiiiiiny mention of MiG fighter planes that got me started down that particular path.\u00a0 Or should I say highway?\u00a0\u00a0Hey, speaking of HIGHWAYS!\u00a0\u00a0Highway to the Danger Zone\u2026Gonna take you right intoooo the DANGER ZONE!…\u00a0 <\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you aware of this concept in airplane travel?\u00a0 [Yes, it\u2019s a thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s an actual thing.\u00a0 I said it\u2019s a thing and therefore….it\u2019s a thing.\u00a0 Very Good, Grasshopper.] Armrest Airspace is where there\u2019s an invisible line that extends from the center of the passengers’ shared armrest all the way up, up, up.\u00a0 It also […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2523"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2523"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2536,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2523\/revisions\/2536"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}