{"id":2451,"date":"2014-01-17T11:09:37","date_gmt":"2014-01-17T18:09:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2451"},"modified":"2014-01-17T11:09:37","modified_gmt":"2014-01-17T18:09:37","slug":"grace-gold","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2451","title":{"rendered":"Grace Gold"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I was in my early teens, my friend Carrie would come for a visit during the summer.\u00a0 We would go to the library and get enough Harlequin Romances to last us the whole week.\u00a0 (We would also do hairstyles and make prank phone calls \u2013 back when you COULD make prank phone calls \u2013 so that tells you what we considered a perfect storm of fun!)<\/span><\/p>\n

And one summer, having read every Harlequin-there-was-in-the-library-that-had-a-cheesy-70\u2019s-cover-on-it (and some even twice) we decided to branch out and WRITE our OWN Harlequin Romance.\u00a0 But really more of a parody of one \u2013 because even at that tender age we knew that love doesn\u2019t actually happen the way it did in those books.<\/span><\/p>\n

The hero of the story was the state governor.\u00a0 (Hey, if they\u2019re not some English Lord, they have to be a high-ranking government official.\u00a0 It\u2019s the law of 70\u2019s Harlequin Romances.)\u00a0 His name was Dirk or Lance (we never quite settled on which one).\u00a0 And being kind-hearted under his brusque, manly exterior, when he assumed office, he wanted to \u201csee how the common man lived\u201d by trying out a variety of public servant jobs.\u00a0 He was in the midst of a stint as a firefighter, when he met the heroine during a house fire.\u00a0 It was the middle of the night.\u00a0 She was in her nightie (gasp!) watching her low-rent apartment go down in flames.\u00a0\u00a0(Naturally there has to be an exciting \u201crescue\u201d scene right up front in order to get this true-love couple together.\u00a0 It\u2019s the law.)\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s as far as we got.\u00a0 The story never got written (beyond that first paragraph) because we spent so much time agonizing over the heroine\u2019s name.\u00a0 So that by the time we decided on a name, our visit was over and Carrie had to go home.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t keep you in suspense, you say?\u00a0 What WAS the heroine’s name, you ask??<\/span><\/p>\n

Purity Perfect.\u00a0 That was the heroine\u2019s name in our Harlequin Romance Parody.\u00a0 And if you know anything about Harlequin Romances from the 70\u2019s, then you would agree with me that this was the most perfectly named heroine of all time.<\/span><\/p>\n

Until…Grace Gold.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cut.\u00a0 It.\u00a0 Out!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Grace Gold<\/em>?!?\u00a0 You HAVE to be kidding me with a name like this!\u00a0 Have you heard of her?\u00a0 What if I told you she’s tall and slender and has a goldenish bun on her noggin\u2019 that only Cinderella has been able to pull off until now.\u00a0 She wears a flirty little dress and dances to music.\u00a0 On ice.\u00a0 And just made the American Women\u2019s Ice-skating Team.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, Grace Gold is going to the Sochi Winter Olympics.<\/span><\/p>\n

Grace Gold?\u00a0 Case closed.<\/span><\/p>\n

And if we could all be so aptly named as to completely reflect our destiny, my name would be \u201cFun stay at home mom megabucks craftykins queen-with-green-eyes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

What?\u00a0 What’s that look for?!\u00a0 Don’t give me that look.\u00a0\u00a0Why, what would YOUR name be?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was in my early teens, my friend Carrie would come for a visit during the summer.\u00a0 We would go to the library and get enough Harlequin Romances to last us the whole week.\u00a0 (We would also do hairstyles and make prank phone calls \u2013 back when you COULD make prank phone calls \u2013 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2451"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2451"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2451\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2457,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2451\/revisions\/2457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}