{"id":2408,"date":"2014-01-07T11:22:55","date_gmt":"2014-01-07T18:22:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2408"},"modified":"2014-01-13T10:48:21","modified_gmt":"2014-01-13T17:48:21","slug":"bloggity-blog-blog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2408","title":{"rendered":"Bloggity, blog, blog"},"content":{"rendered":"

UPDATE:\u00a0 After I posted this blog,\u00a0Hubby\u00a0sent me an email \u201cclarifying\u201d (in an exasperated sort of way) that it\u2019s Red SHIRT and not Red LETTER. Not that I care. But you might. So FYI in case you think he\u2019s a total football moron. He\u2019s not. I am. And I\u2019m proud of it!\u00a0 Now read on…<\/span><\/p>\n

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People who find out I have a blog fall into three distinct categories:\u00a0Category A, those who want to be IN the blog;\u00a0Category B, those who DON\u2019T want to be in the blog; and Category C, those who are in the blog all the time, and don\u2019t even know it.\u00a0 This category mostly pertains to my kids.\u00a0 (I have named my daughter, Sissy and my son, Sonny.\u00a0 No, of course those aren\u2019t their real names, \u2018cause I\u2019m wack, but not THAT wack.\u00a0 I just named them that\u00a0for blog purposes so as to protect the guilty.)\u00a0 And sometimes my husband falls into Category C as well.\u00a0 His name is Hubby.\u00a0 Hey \u2013 don\u2019t blame me on that one!\u00a0 His PARENTS named him Hubby, which is a weird coincidence, don\u2019t you think?<\/span><\/p>\n

Category A people always think that the conversation we\u2019re having \u2013 right now \u2013 should be in the blog.\u00a0 Hey, here’s an idea….I could be in your blog!\u00a0\u00a0In fact, this conversation we\u2019re having right now is pretty funny.\u00a0 This conversation should totally go in your blog, right?<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Totally.<\/span><\/p>\n

Category B people always think that their deepest, darkest secrets might appear in the blog and therefore avoid me at all costs in case I can see into their souls and pull out said secrets for blog-fodder.\u00a0 While I can\u2019t actually do this, I give the appearance that I can.\u00a0 This \u201cappearance\u201d mostly consists of me giving them the stink-eye from across the room at parties.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And as previously stated, Category C people include my kids and hubby.\u00a0 And finally, here\u2019s where we get to the jumping-off point for today\u2019s blog.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

[The Editorial Calendar is a bit slow this week, so I gotta make do.\u00a0 If you have better ideas for blog topics, please submit.\u00a0 Until then, look right into my eyes.\u00a0 Look DIRECTLY into my eyes so that I can SEEEEE to your VERRRRY SOULLLLLLL<\/em>\u2026.]\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In no particular order (ok, I lied.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually age order \u2013 youngest to oldest – but I wasn’t sure if that was considered “chronological”\u00a0or counter-chronological?<\/em>\u00a0so I didn’t mention it), here are the conversations I have had in the last day with three of these\u00a0main characters in my lifestory:<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonny: As he\u2019s going to sleep last night, he asks (apropos nothing, always apropos nothing), \u201cDo the babies hold their breaths in their moms\u2019 tummies the whole time they\u2019re in there before they\u2019re born?\u201d\u00a0 Sigh.\u00a0 This is always how he gets me to go down some confusing (to him AND me) path where I speak in euphemisms and code words that even I <\/em>don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 Resolving to speak plainly in specific words this time around, I reply, \u201cwell, actually\u2026the babies, while they\u2019re alive, aren\u2019t air-breathing yet.\u00a0 They get everything they need from the umbilical cord that connects them to their mother.\u00a0 Even oxygen.\u201d \u00a0Judging by the puzzled expression, I can tell that Sonny is now picturing the umbilical cord snaking down the baby\u2019s throat to feed oxygen directly into its lungs.\u00a0 So I clarify, \u201cI mean, the umbilical cord gives the babies everything they need in addition to oxygen, but directly INTO their bloodstream.\u00a0 Like Vitamin C, Vitamin B12\u2026\u201d ok, where did THIS come from?\u00a0 Why am I DOING this?!?\u00a0 WAAAY too much weird, granular detail.\u00a0 B-12??\u00a0 Pull back!\u00a0 Pull BACK!!<\/em>\u00a0 \u00a0This sound-the-retreat voice in my head tells me this is clearly making NO sense, so I wrap up with, \u201cThe umbilical cord is how they get their nutrients to grow big enough to be born.\u00a0 They don\u2019t breathe air until they\u2019re born.\u00a0 So it\u2019s not like they\u2019re holding their breath the whole time.\u00a0 \u2018Cause they\u2019re not.\u00a0 They don\u2019t breathe air.\u00a0 Until they\u2019re born.\u201d\u00a0 Hmmm\u2026that was VERY good.\u00a0 Very good, indeed.\u00a0 People should put me in charge of telling this to other people.\u00a0 It\u2019s so clear and insightful.<\/em>\u00a0 Sonny replies with, \u201cSoooo, is that why babies are blue when they\u2019re born?\u00a0 Because they aren\u2019t breathing yet?\u201d\u00a0 Oh, geez.\u00a0 This kid is BRILLIANT!!\u00a0 Despite my best efforts to complicate the simplest things, he sees through it.\u00a0 To which I say, \u201cYes!\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 But then they pink-up.\u00a0 Pink-up?\u00a0 Who says: pink-up?\u00a0 I\u2019VE never said pink-up!\u00a0 Yet now I\u2019m using it in a conversation?!\u00a0 This isn’t gonna go well.<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 Meaning: they get all pink when they\u2019re born because then they\u2019re breathing and oxygen causes them to pink-up.\u201d\u00a0 Sonny then says (in a horrified tone of voice), \u201cLike pink up\u2026like ALL the way pink?\u00a0 Like HOT pink??\u201d\u00a0 Sigh.<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sissy: Told us ALL about her dream this morning over breakfast:\u00a0 \u201cSo then, we met a girl from the state of Miladelphia at the pool while we were on a family field trip to Disneyland.\u00a0 And I said, do you mean PHILadelphia?\u00a0 And she said, no, MILadelphia.\u00a0 But then we kicked her out of the car on the way to see the movie because she answered Dad\u2019s question wrong about the honeybees.\u00a0 And also we know there\u2019s no state of MILadelphia.\u201d\u00a0 Uhhh\u2026ok.\u00a0 There\u2019s also no state of PHILadelphia either, but this is your dream.\u00a0 So what happened then?<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cBut then it turns out she\u2019s IN the movie, like one of the actors.\u00a0 And Jennifer Lawrence is also in the movie.\u00a0 She\u2019s the main character.\u00a0 It\u2019s about these people who live in Antarctica.\u00a0 But now they\u2019re on a cruise ship, and Jennifer dives down to the front of a cruise ship.\u00a0 It\u2019s like a room, but underneath the water.\u00a0 And we can see the room\u2019s window-porthole thing from outside.\u00a0 And in the window is a pencil drawing of a guy.\u00a0 I mean it\u2019s just a pencil drawing but then we hear Jennifer off-screen say, \u2018Hello brother\u2019 and a bunch of fleas come out of nowhere and swarm over her.\u00a0 We left and when we were back in the car I asked why we left and Dad said, \u2018Because the movie was too scary.\u2019\u00a0 And then I screamed at you because I was mad that we left.\u201d\u00a0 Ooooooh kaaaaaay.\u00a0 Less conversation, more one-sided rant than anything.\u00a0 But that was interesting,\u00a0right? \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hubby:\u00a0 With that freshman who just won the Heisman Trophy, the topic of our conversation last night was the whole \u2018Red Letter Freshman\u2019 concept.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know where I\u2019ve been, but apparently this nonsense has been going on for a long time.\u00a0 I was not aware of it until this conversation and so was asking perceptive and insightful questions that resulted in Hubby\u00a0yelling that I should look it up and stop bugging him.\u00a0 I will give you just one example of a perceptive question and then let you go about your business because I\u2019ve taken up too much of your time already.\u00a0 This question was, \u201cOk, let me get this straight\u2026in Football Land they\u2019re called a Red Letter Freshman, but in Real World they\u2019re called a Sophomore?\u00a0 But this guy who just won the Heisman is a REAL Freshman in the REAL\u00a0World AND\u00a0in the Football World??\u00a0 But then what happens if you were a Red Letter Freshman but now you\u2019re a Football Senior?\u00a0 Does that mean you actually GRADUATED from college but have no life and you\u2019re coming back to college just to play football?\u00a0 You don\u2019t have a job??\u00a0 How many people are like this??!?\u201d\u00a0 This is when the yelling came in and the strong suggestions to \u201clook it up,\u00a0educate yourself, leave me alone!\u201d may have started.\u00a0 Whatevs.\u00a0 It\u2019s dumb.\u00a0 And I actually don\u2019t really care.\u00a0 I thought the whole thing\u00a0was going to be\u00a0a Scarlet Letter\/ostracizing sort of concept.\u00a0 Which would have been intriguing.\u00a0 But it wasn’t.\u00a0 Instead it was\u00a0just one more way football makes itself so confusing as to be completely uninteresting to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now Folks, the captain has turned off the \u201cblogging on and on about the\u00a0family\u201d signal.\u00a0 You are free to go about your day.\u00a0 Thank you for your attention. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

UPDATE:\u00a0 After I posted this blog,\u00a0Hubby\u00a0sent me an email \u201cclarifying\u201d (in an exasperated sort of way) that it\u2019s Red SHIRT and not Red LETTER. Not that I care. But you might. So FYI in case you think he\u2019s a total football moron. He\u2019s not. I am. And I\u2019m proud of it!\u00a0 Now read on… ************************************************************************************************* […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2408"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2408"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2408\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2424,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2408\/revisions\/2424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}