{"id":2349,"date":"2013-12-24T08:56:52","date_gmt":"2013-12-24T15:56:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2349"},"modified":"2013-12-24T08:56:52","modified_gmt":"2013-12-24T15:56:52","slug":"twas-the-night-before-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2349","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Twas the night before Christmas\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2026and on our asteroid, <\/span><\/em>
\nNot a creature was stirring.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/em>
\nNot even a droid. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I had to memorize that poem.\u00a0 Back when I was a robot.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, a robot.\u00a0 In a Christmas program.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It was the early 80\u2019s.\u00a0 Everyone \u2013 including nuns and Catholic school children \u2013 had been (and remained) bitten by the Star Wars bug.\u00a0 So robots were popping up everywhere\u2026even in the St. Joe\u2019s gradeschool Christmas program.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I would like to claim that the robots were part of a sci-fi manger scene: with Princess Leia as Mary, and R2D2 as the baby in the cr\u00e8che.\u00a0 Storm troopers arrived, called by the star.\u00a0 And a galactic battle ensued for the souls of the faithful.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it was nothing of the sort.\u00a0 Instead, it was just a bunch of kids wearing boxes covered in aluminum foil, bumping in to each other as they tried to stand in orderly robot rows on the choral risers in the school gym while reciting a Space Age version of \u2018Twas the Night Before Christmas<\/em> in their best impression of\u00a0monotone, robot-like voices.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Although I will say that I added some flair to said standard-issue robot uniform, by wearing a robot SKIRT!\u00a0 Hey, I was a girl robot, afterall!\u00a0 And I know EXACTLY what you\u2019re thinking: How creative, right?!\u00a0 While still just a foil-covered-box, I wore it from the waist down and paired it with a white turtleneck-with-little-red-hearts-on-it and some cream-colored pants.\u00a0 Whoop\u2026whoop.\u00a0 80\u2019s Girl Robot in the house!\u00a0 Bringing her 80\u2019s Girl Robot A-Game of Fashion!!<\/em>)<\/span><\/p>\n

But now?\u00a0 Now\u00a0the steel trap of my robot-y youth has rusted a bit, and I don\u2019t remember SQUAT about how the main part of the poem went, but\u00a0I can still recall the closing lines:<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he took off through space with his reindeer and pack<\/span><\/em>
\nLeaving my radar to bleep and go black<\/span><\/em>
\nBut our video scanner showed his message unfurled,<\/span><\/em>
\n\u201cSure hope your Christmas is out of this world.\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

In other words\u2026Merry Christmas to all!\u00a0 And to all a good night!\u00a0 Beep-boop.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026and on our asteroid, Not a creature was stirring.\u00a0 Not even a droid. I had to memorize that poem.\u00a0 Back when I was a robot.\u00a0 Yes, a robot.\u00a0 In a Christmas program.\u00a0 It was the early 80\u2019s.\u00a0 Everyone \u2013 including nuns and Catholic school children \u2013 had been (and remained) bitten by the Star Wars […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2349"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2349"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2357,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2349\/revisions\/2357"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}