{"id":2330,"date":"2013-12-18T08:40:16","date_gmt":"2013-12-18T15:40:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2330"},"modified":"2013-12-18T08:40:16","modified_gmt":"2013-12-18T15:40:16","slug":"christmas-carols","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2330","title":{"rendered":"Christmas Carols"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the spirit of the season, let\u2019s deconstruct some Christmas Carols, shall we?\u00a0 Why, yes.\u00a0 Yes, we shall.\u00a0 ‘Cause it’s my blog.\u00a0 And what I say we shall do, we shall!\u00a0 Yay!!<\/span><\/p>\n

Let It Snow.<\/span>\u00a0 I can never quite figure out WHAT is going on here.\u00a0 Is this a cute, harmless song about love-in-the-winter?\u00a0 Or is there something smuttier at work here?\u00a0 How long, exactly, have they been \u201cgood-byeing.\u201d\u00a0 And what does this \u201cgood-byeing\u201d entail??\u00a0 As long as you love me so (nudge, nudge, wink, wink<\/em>) let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Silver Bells.<\/span>\u00a0 There\u2019s this one part in the song that causes confusion in my family every time we hear it.\u00a0 It starts out with: Hear the snow crunch.<\/em>\u00a0 And then opinions diverge from there.\u00a0 Sonny insists the next line is: See the kids PUNCH.<\/em>\u00a0 Yes, punch.\u00a0 As in: the kids have been waiting too long for Santa and now they\u2019re taking it out on each other.\u00a0 [Newsflash to the kids in this version of the song: Fatman ain\u2019t comin\u2019 if all y\u2019all are gonna be punchin\u2019 eachother like that.]\u00a0 On the other hand, Sissy and Hubby insist the word is not punch (because \u2018punch\u2019?…in a Christmas Carol??…would be too silly!) but is, instead, \u2018munch\u2019.\u00a0 \u00a0As in: the kids are happy to wait in line to see Santa because some kind soul handed out candy canes earlier.\u00a0 So now, while the children wait in an orderly fashion, they MUNCH.\u00a0\u00a0But\u2026they\u2019re ALL wrong.\u00a0 And I\u2019m right.\u00a0 [Surprise, surprise.]\u00a0\u00a0 Because what is ACTUALLY going on here is\u00a0some \u2018Breakfast with Santa\u2019 scenario:\u00a0 See the kids BRUNCH!\u00a0 This is Santa’s big scene!!<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Holly Jolly Christmas.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0I think some Type A person, who was hard-of-hearing, wrote this one.\u00a0 Have a holly jolly Christmas<\/em> [note controlling you-must-do-this-a-certain-way tone of voice].\u00a0 \u00a0And in case you didn\u2019t hear<\/em> (Noooo\u2026we heard it just fine.\u00a0 Maybe YOU\u2019RE the one who needs a hearing test.)\u00a0 Oh by golly, have a holly jolly Christmas this year!<\/em>\u00a0 [note repetitive holly, jolly demands]\u00a0 Also?\u00a0 That part where the old feller (who sounds suspiciously like the snowman from the Rudolph t.v. special) tells you that somebody waits for you, KISS HER ONCE FOR ME!<\/em>\u00a0 Er\u2026Creep Factor 100, Snowman.<\/span><\/p>\n

We Need a Little Christmas.<\/span>\u00a0 The person in this song is wound a bit too tight, don\u2019t you think?\u00a0 We need a little Christmas.\u00a0 RIGHT.\u00a0 THIS.\u00a0 VERY.\u00a0 MINUTE!!! <\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Uh\u2026ok.\u00a0 Settle down, Sparky.\u00a0 It\u2019s a\u2019comin\u2019.\u00a0 Just hang in there.\u00a0 Also?\u00a0 If the rising or falling of your spirits is dependent upon hauling out holly?\u00a0 Then you should see someone for that.\u00a0 It\u2019s called Seasonal Affective Disorder \u2013 or SAD.\u00a0 The cure?\u00a0 Sunlight.\u00a0 Go to Australia.\u00a0 They have Christmas on the beach in the middle of summer.\u00a0 No one is stressed.\u00a0 And there\u2019s shrimp on the barbie.\u00a0 To cure SAD in Russia they make you stand in front of an ultraviolet light in your underpants.\u00a0 Definitely go to Australia instead.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s something my husband calls the \u201cCoo-coo Dame\u201d songs.\u00a0 These songs are basically any Christmas song sung by Frank Sinatra.\u00a0 I love those J-i-n-G-le BELLS!\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 Those holiday J-i-n-G-l-e BELLS!\u00a0 Those happy J-i-n-G-l-e B-e double L-S.\u00a0 I love those J-i-n-G-l-e BELLS!<\/em>\u00a0 Oy vey.\u00a0 There is absolutely NO NEED to jazz up classics with Coo-Coo Dame shenanigans.\u00a0 Am I right?\u00a0 Or am I right??\u00a0 [Hint #1: I’m right.\u00a0 Hint #2:\u00a0I’m always right.\u00a0 Hint #3: We’ve been over this already,\u00a0SHALL we go over it again??]\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the spirit of the season, let\u2019s deconstruct some Christmas Carols, shall we?\u00a0 Why, yes.\u00a0 Yes, we shall.\u00a0 ‘Cause it’s my blog.\u00a0 And what I say we shall do, we shall!\u00a0 Yay!! Let It Snow.\u00a0 I can never quite figure out WHAT is going on here.\u00a0 Is this a cute, harmless song about love-in-the-winter?\u00a0 Or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2330"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2330"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2330\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2338,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2330\/revisions\/2338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2330"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2330"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2330"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}