{"id":2300,"date":"2013-12-12T13:40:47","date_gmt":"2013-12-12T20:40:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2300"},"modified":"2013-12-12T13:40:47","modified_gmt":"2013-12-12T20:40:47","slug":"crochet-chicks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=2300","title":{"rendered":"Crochet Chicks"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: medium;\">Remember that <a title=\"one blog\" href=\"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1788\">one blog <\/a>where I commented on how them Crochet Chicks is wack?! \u00a0Well&#8230;them Crochet Chicks is STILL wack!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: medium;\">Below is a sampling of projects from a recent\u00a0crochet newsletter so you also can see how wack some of this crap is that they come up with.\u00a0 (And you can just shut your everlovin&#8217; pie hole if you have anything to say about why I&#8217;m even GETTING\u00a0a crochet newsletter. \u00a0Shut it!!!)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: medium;\">I realize that I made a mistake in my previous blog post;\u00a0I didn\u2019t include project links so you could behold the wonder of crochet with your very own peepers.\u00a0 But, lesson learned.\u00a0 Here goes:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/emd0TzIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTQwLTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Berries in the Snow Scarf<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 You know berries don\u2019t ever freeze well.\u00a0 And when you take them out of the freezer and put them around your neck, they drip all over the place.\u00a0 Yep.\u00a0 This scarf was appropriately named.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/VEV3TDIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTQyLTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Sensational Scarf<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 Hmmm\u2026<em>sensational<\/em>??\u00a0 That overstates things a bit. \u00a0I would call it a &#8220;Meh &#8211; it&#8217;s okay&#8221; scarf.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/MExUVTIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTQ0LTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Snow Goddess Scarf<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 Uh&#8230; if you&#8217;re not ALREADY a snow goddess, this scarf will not make you into one. \u00a0Just sayin&#8217;.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/T1RFdzIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTQ3LTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Bumpy Popcorn Crochet Scarf<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 Yes, make this crochet project if you want to look like bumpy popcorn when you wear it.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/emd0TzIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTUwLTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Fallen Leaves Slouchy Hat<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 If you want to BE slouchy and LOOK slouchy while you do it, then go right ahead, make this hat and wear it with all due haste.\u00a0 And then don\u2019t ever wash your hair again.\u00a0 And become a doofus hipster.\u00a0 That\u2019s cool.\u00a0 Also, I suggest wearing it with the bumpy popcorn scarf so boys never come near you again.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/RXdMVzIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTQ5LTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Sleazy Dress<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 Yes. \u00a0Yes, absolutely make this dress if you want to look like you&#8217;re wearing a sleazy dress straight out of a 70&#8217;s nightmare.\u00a0 I can&#8217;t even believe they would call it that, but that&#8217;s exactly what it is. \u00a0A sleazy dress.\u00a0 From slouchy hat to sleaze &#8211; boy, them Crochet Chicks sure do run the gamut!<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/SXhNajIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTUxLTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Scraptacular Circle Scarf<\/span><\/a>. This was actually mislabeled. \u00a0The correct title should have been CRAPtacular Circle Scarf. \u00a0Because it\u2019s totally crappy looking.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/TnpndDIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTUyLTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Snow Queen Blanket<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 If you click the link, the description says you&#8217;ll\u00a0feel like a queen as you sit in your living room watching the snow fall. \u00a0But you&#8217;re only gonna be sitting there all quiet-like &#8217;cause Norman Bates propped your body up &amp; tucked this dopey blanket around your knees.\u00a0 So I\u2019d give this project a pass.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/mlr.allfreecrochet.com\/redir.php\/b\/TnpndDIwMC05ODc3NC0yNzIwMTU0LTI5MDE2Mjkx\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #5f5f5f;\">Quick Fix Winter Hat<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 If you need a hat in a jiffy (and you still use words like &#8216;jiffy&#8217;), then you should just go to Target and buy one licketysplit. \u00a0By no means should you crochet this hat.\u00a0 So knock it off already with your fake \u201cquick winter hat\u201d challenge.\u00a0 No one is issuing this sort of challenge,\u00a0so\u00a0stop pretending there&#8217;s some\u00a0under-the-gun scenario wherein you must craft a project out of yarn otherwise you&#8230;DIE!\u00a0 No one will kill you if you don&#8217;t make this hat.\u00a0 Someone might\u00a0kill you if you DO.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember that one blog where I commented on how them Crochet Chicks is wack?! \u00a0Well&#8230;them Crochet Chicks is STILL wack! Below is a sampling of projects from a recent\u00a0crochet newsletter so you also can see how wack some of this crap is that they come up with.\u00a0 (And you can just shut your everlovin&#8217; pie [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2300"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2300"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2300\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2317,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2300\/revisions\/2317"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}