The time has come to bring Starbucks’ lack of decaf to New York City\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n
Yeah.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 What I just said.\u00a0 Bring it!<\/p>\n
But to clarify\u2026did you know that Starbucks\u00a0STOPS brewing fresh decaffeinated coffee at 2 in the afternoon?\u00a0 This pretty much guarantees that all those fools in there AFTER 2 are drinking full-bore wack juice.<\/p>\n
And THAT\u00a0seems like just the sort of \u201cthis has GOT to be bad for you\u201d thing that New York City would want to know about.\u00a0 You know, one of those \u201cthis has GOT to be bad for you and it\u2019s really none of our business since you\u2019re an adult, but we\u2019re gonna try to put the kibosh on it anyway\u201d type of deals\u2026along the same lines as massive,\u00a0sugary Big Gulps.<\/p>\n
How do I even know that Starbucks doesn\u2019t brew decaf after 2?\u00a0 \u2018Cause I asked for a decaf at about 6:30 p.m. and they told me the whole tale:<\/p>\n
Me:\u00a0 \u201cUhhh\u2026yeah\u2026I\u2019d like a tall decaf coffee please. \u00a0With room.\u201d<\/p>\n
Perky Starbucks Automaton: \u00a0\u201cOhhhh \u2013 gee, I’m sorry!\u00a0 [while giving me a sooo saaaad frowny-face reserved for only the dumbest of the dumb-dumbs<\/em>]\u00a0 But we don\u2019t brew fresh decaf coffee after 2 in the afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 \u201cUhhh\u2026ok.\u00a0 Can you just find some of the old decaf and warm it up for me?<\/p>\n PSA:\u00a0 \u201cTeeee heee.\u00a0 I could make a cup of Verisimahlollyloolah for you.\u00a0 It brews the perfect cup of coffee every time.\u201d<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 \u201cI have no idea what you just said, but if it\u2019s decaf, I\u2019m in.\u201d<\/p>\n PSA:\u00a0 \u201cSure!\u00a0 \u00a0Again, it\u2019s Verisimahhhh-lolly-looooo-lah [said in the same way my grandmother spoke all foreign languages: English only LOUDER and SLOWWWWER<\/em>] and it brews the perfect cup of coffee every time.\u201d<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 \u201cOkaaaay.\u00a0 And again –\u00a0as long as it\u2019s decaf, I\u2019m in.\u201d<\/p>\n [5 minutes later…I’m\u00a0THOROUGHLY annoyed at all the nonsense.\u00a0 I just wanted a FREAKIN\u2019 cuppa\u00a0decaf coffee.\u00a0 Why does it have to be so HARD?!?\u00a0 Thanks for making me feel like an a$$, Starbucks.\u00a0\u00a0I already feel intimidated every time I go in there with all the inside jokes that you call “ordering coffee.”\u00a0\u00a0I thought I was doing so well knowing about “leaving room” and everything – and then you hit me upside the head with the “no fresh brewed decaf after 2” silliness.<\/em>]<\/p>\n PSA:\u00a0 \u201cMiss?\u00a0 Because Verisimahlollyloolah brews the perfect cup of coffee every time, I had to put it in a grande cup so that you would have room for milk.\u00a0 Is that ok?\u201d<\/p>\n Ok??\u00a0 OK??!\u00a0 \u00a0Screw the coffee!\u00a0 Screw the cup size!\u00a0 Screw the room!\u00a0 She just called me MISS…of COURSE\u00a0it\u2019s ok!!!<\/p>\n P.S. New York City, there is nothing to see here.\u00a0 Move along.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The time has come to bring Starbucks’ lack of decaf to New York City\u2019s attention. Yeah.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 What I just said.\u00a0 Bring it! But to clarify\u2026did you know that Starbucks\u00a0STOPS brewing fresh decaffeinated coffee at 2 in the afternoon?\u00a0 This pretty much guarantees that all those fools in there AFTER 2 are drinking full-bore […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2195"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2205,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195\/revisions\/2205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}