\u2026climbed up the water-spout (\u2018cept in this song it\u2019s really the front of the toilet bowl).<\/p>\n
(Oh!\u00a0 And the spider was NOT\u00a0itsy bitsy.\u00a0 It was BIG.\u00a0 And a disgusting muddy yellow color.)<\/p>\n
(Also?\u00a0 There\u2019s a human in this version of the song.\u00a0 Who had just pulled down her pants when she spotted said spider moving up the outside of the bowl.\u00a0 Towards her.\u00a0 And her bared assets.\u00a0\u00a0So she had to blast outta there like that guy in the horror movie.\u00a0 You know, the one who has his pants down around his ankles, doing something inappropriate, when the killer comes calling.\u00a0 And he can\u2019t get away fast enough because he\u2019s stumbling over…uh…his own pants.\u00a0 With all his most vulnerable bits out in the open.\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 That one.\u00a0 \u2018Cept instead of stumbling AWAY from the killer, the person in this story is galloping-in-a-hobbled-sort-of-way\u00a0TOWARDS another bathroom to \u2018take care of bidnid\u2019.\u00a0 And when those\u00a0drawn to the original bathroom by all the screaming\u00a0report that\u00a0there\u2019s no spider to be found, additional skippin\u2019 and hoppin\u2019 ensues due to the worry that somehow the spider is now trapped in the pants-down-around-the-knees.\u00a0 Or worse yet, clinging to\u00a0the\u00a0bared assets!\u00a0 GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! )<\/p>\n
Ok.\u00a0 Enough backstory.\u00a0 Here we go\u2026.<\/p>\n
The BIG muddy yellow spider<\/em><\/p>\n Climbed up the toilet bowl<\/em><\/p>\n A\u00a0woman\u00a0spotted the spider<\/em><\/p>\n And she screamed bloody murder<\/em><\/p>\n Then out\u00a0ran the woman, tripping over her own pants-down-around-her-knees<\/em><\/p>\n And the BIG, muddy yellow spider will never climb up the toilet bowl again.\u00a0 <\/em>(Because Sonny found it drowned in the bathtub later that night.\u00a0 To which I say: Good – Die you gravy suckin\u2019 pig!\u00a0 DIE!!!) <\/em><\/p>\n Have I mentioned that I HATE spiders?\u00a0 And they know it.\u00a0 So they play this game of chicken with me every chance they get.\u00a0 I bet ya they even\u00a0crawl into my mouth when I’m sleeping.<\/p>\n GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u2026climbed up the water-spout (\u2018cept in this song it\u2019s really the front of the toilet bowl). (Oh!\u00a0 And the spider was NOT\u00a0itsy bitsy.\u00a0 It was BIG.\u00a0 And a disgusting muddy yellow color.) (Also?\u00a0 There\u2019s a human in this version of the song.\u00a0 Who had just pulled down her pants when she spotted said spider moving […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2165"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2165"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2165\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2178,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2165\/revisions\/2178"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}