Step 1: \u00a0Go to a Halloween party where the host\u2019s son has been throwing up since 2 a.m. that day.\u00a0 Dress as a witch (and then joke that you came as yourself \u2013 heh, heh, heh).\u00a0 Your husband should dress as Walter White from Breaking Bad.\u00a0 No one will know him or his character \u2013 until they look him up on the internet and then think he looks EXACTLY like Walter White, complete with porkpie hat.\u00a0 (As a side note: if a pork pie looks like THAT?\u00a0 I\u2019m glad I never ate one.)\u00a0 But actually\u2026your costume makes no-never-mind.\u00a0 What you REALLY\u00a0should do is avoid the sick boy when he makes an appearance without a costume and a bad case of bed-head.\u00a0\u00a0Forget to tell your children to avoid the sick boy.<\/p>\n
Step 2: \u00a0When your daughter develops stomach bug symptoms very early the following morning, do all you can to comfort her while avoiding touching anything she has touched.\u00a0 As a precautionary measure, thoroughly wash your hands up to the elbows every time you\u2019re within breathing distance of her.\u00a0 Lysol all surfaces upstairs-and-downstairs for good measure.<\/p>\n
Step 3:\u00a0 Set sick daughter on the couch after the first throw-up bout to watch some cartoons.\u00a0 Multitask the heck out of the morning.\u00a0 If you\u2019re up that early, you may as well make it count: make yourself oodles of coffee, sort through mail, look up recipes and craft projects, clean out kitchen drawers\u00a0and so on and so forth.\u00a0\u00a0In general, organize everyone\u2019s life while swigging hot joe.<\/p>\n
Step 4:\u00a0 When you get tired of all the moaning and groaning from the couch about how she\u2019d like to throw up because that would make her feel better \u2013 but she doesn\u2019t WANT to throw up because she hates it \u2013 make the sick daughter some peppermint tea to \u201cforce the issue.\u201d<\/p>\n
Step 5:\u00a0 Present sick daughter with peppermint tea, and when the first few sips have stayed down for 5 minutes, present her with her mug for a few more sips.\u00a0 When she is done, do NOT place the mug on the table by the couch because the dog will knock it off and spill it everywhere.\u00a0 Instead, place the mug on the kitchen table.<\/p>\n
Step 6:\u00a0 Congratulate yourself on outsmarting the dumb-dumb posse all while organizing everyone\u2019s life AND the kitchen drawers to boot!\u00a0 Take several big gulps of your coffee.\u00a0 Then wonder why your coffee tastes like\u2026PEPPERMINT TEA!!!!<\/p>\n
Step 7:\u00a0 Gaaack!\u00a0 gaaaaAAAACKKKKKK!!!\u00a0 Gaaaackity gack from GACK town!\u00a0 GAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!!!!\u00a0 Stomach bug – here I come!\u00a0\u00a0WHEEEEeeeeeeeeeee!!!<\/p>\n
And also?\u00a0 Dumb-Dumb Posse\u2026UNITE!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Step 1: \u00a0Go to a Halloween party where the host\u2019s son has been throwing up since 2 a.m. that day.\u00a0 Dress as a witch (and then joke that you came as yourself \u2013 heh, heh, heh).\u00a0 Your husband should dress as Walter White from Breaking Bad.\u00a0 No one will know him or his character \u2013 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2064"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2064"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2064\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2074,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2064\/revisions\/2074"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2064"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2064"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2064"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}