Remember that part in yesterday’s blog about pre-employment tests?\u00a0 And remember how I said there were TWO tests – but then\u00a0only told you about ONE of them?\u00a0\u00a0Well today, Boys & Girls, we’ll\u00a0discuss Test Number 2.\u00a0 Officially it was called a “Criteria Cognitive Aptitude Test” but I fondly refer to it as “OMG!\u00a0 Why do I suck so much at math?!?”<\/p>\n
It starts off with all sorts of dire warnings: You will have 15 minutes to complete this test.\u00a0 There are 50 questions.\u00a0 IT IS UNLIKELY YOU’LL FINISH BEFORE TIME EXPIRES.\u00a0 But do your best.<\/strong><\/p>\n Naaaaawwwww, that warning doesn’t raise my stress level one bit now, does it?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n At this point, I can feel my heart beating in my throat and my stomach has gotten queasy.\u00a0 I am clearly going to bite dust here.\u00a0 And I know it.\u00a0 But being the brave soul I am, I click “Next” anyway.<\/p>\n No calculators are allowed.\u00a0 Please use only pen and scratch paper.\u00a0 THE QUESTIONS WILL BECOME MORE DIFFICULT AS YOU GO ON.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n Will you frickin’ stop\u00a0already?!?\u00a0\u00a0Your instructions SUCK!\u00a0\u00a0AND ARE NOT HELPFUL!!!!\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n Now I’ve gone into full-blown heart palpitations.\u00a0 And I’m chumming in my mouth.<\/p>\n But I click another “Next”\u00a0and am transported back in time to highschool where I am once again taking the SAT test.\u00a0 There is no other way to describe the\u00a0crap I am being subjected\u00a0to, other than to say it\u00a0feels eerily similar to taking the SAT.\u00a0\u00a0And just like the SAT, I’m spending the first 10 minutes of the test trying to figure out what the grading scale is, “Should I just guess?\u00a0 Am I PENALIZED for guessing??\u00a0 Do I get some points for at least ANSWERING the question even if it’s the WRONG answer?!?”<\/p>\n By the time I come out of that nosedive,\u00a0we’ve gotten some “pattern” questions out-of-the-way.\u00a0 First there’s the “letter pattern” questions:\u00a0badg, dbdf, fcde…what comes next in this pattern?\u00a0 Hmmm…wait!\u00a0 Wait.\u00a0 a, B<\/span>, c, D<\/span>, e, F<\/span>…I might be on to something!\u00a0 The answer is 2. hddd .\u00a0 Woo-hoo!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Then there are the “shape pattern” questions:\u00a0 Which one is not like the other?\u00a0\u00a0Which one just doesn’t belong?\u00a0 Which one is not like the other?\u00a0 Can you figure it out before I finish this Sesame Street\u00a0song?!?\u00a0 <\/em>The pattern they display on the screen is a triangle, a circle, a square.\u00a0 As answer choices, they offer: a\u00a0rhombus, a parallelogram with a triangle for-a-head, a rectangle, and a circle.\u00a0 THE CIRCLE!\u00a0\u00a0CHOOSE THE CIRCLE!!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n And while I’m riding my I-can-pick-out-the-pattern-anywhere-anytime high, I get slammed upside the head with this doozie: A plane loaded with cargo travels 2000 miles at an average speed of 400 miles per hour.\u00a0 On the return trip on the same route it travels at an average speed of 480 miles per hour.\u00a0 How much quicker was the return trip?<\/p>\n 4:03 MINUTES LEFT ON THE BIG, BLACK COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN THE RIGHTHAND CORNER OF THE SCREEN<\/strong><\/p>\n Aaaack, what happened to the time?!?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>Ok.\u00a0 Ok.\u00a0 You move the invisible decimal over one in the 400 miles per hour and that gives you 40.\u00a0 That tells you that 40 is 10% of 400.\u00a0 If you double that, you get 80.\u00a0 So 80 is 20% of 400.\u00a0 They added 80 to 400 to come up with 480.\u00a0 So look for the answer that has something to do with 20% quicker.\u00a0 Let\u2019s see, what are the options\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 10 minutes What?!?\u00a0 These answers are all in MINUTES.\u00a0 I was hoping for a percentage!!\u00a0 But I can do this.\u00a0 Let\u2019s see \u2013 you start with 60 minutes in an hour and move the invisible decimal over one.\u00a0 That gives you 6 minutes or 10% of 60 minutes, but we\u2019re looking for 20% of 60 minutes so you double the 6\u00a0and come up with 12 minutes.\u00a0 But there is NO flippin\u2019 12 minutes for an answer!\u00a0 And I\u2019ve completely left out that part about traveling 2000 miles.\u00a0 But I can\u2019t even figure OUT\u00a0how to incorporate that.\u00a0\u00a0I SUCK AT MATH!!!!!\u00a0 Ok, well.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just go with 2) 32 minutes, because that\u2019s the only one with a \u201c2\u201d in it.<\/em><\/p>\n 3:41 MINUTES LEFT ON THE BIG, BLACK COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN THE RIGHTHAND CORNER OF THE SCREEN<\/strong><\/p>\n Choose the word that is most nearly OPPOSITE to the word in capital letters: OSTENTATIOUS. 3) Modest???\u00a0 Or Refined???\u00a0 Is ostentatious ‘loud and obnoxious’ or just ‘overly gaudy’?!?\u00a0 CRAP!!!\u00a0 Now my bad math skills are infecting my good English skills.\u00a0\u00a0Just choose something!\u00a0 Ok, modest.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n 2:38 MINUTES LEFT ON THE BIG, BLACK COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN THE RIGHTHAND CORNER OF THE SCREEN<\/strong><\/p>\n PARTITION is to SEPARATE as\u2026 4) DOOR is to CLOSE???\u00a0 But a partition separates, a door closes, a refrigerator cools.\u00a0 Crap!\u00a0 CRAP!!!\u00a0 No.\u00a0 4.\u00a0 Stick with 4.<\/em><\/p>\n 1:35 MINUTES LEFT ON THE BIG, BLACK COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN THE RIGHTHAND CORNER OF THE SCREEN<\/strong><\/p>\n After selecting 180 of its employees to form a new division, a company discovers that engineers outnumber analysts by a 3:1 ratio in the division.\u00a0 Only analysts and engineers work in the new division.\u00a0 How many more analysts must the company add to the division if it wants to have a 1:1 ratio of engineers to analysts at the new division? Screw the engineers AND the analysts.\u00a0 SCREW \u2018EM!\u00a0 But if they want a 1:1 ratio, then there needs to be 180 of each, right?\u00a0 Which means they already have 180 and they need to add 180 MORE.\u00a0 How is this helping me?\u00a0\u00a0 3 goes into 180, 60 times.\u00a0 So right now there are only 60 analysts.\u00a0 They want 180 analysts.\u00a0 So they need to hire 120 more analysts.\u00a0 WHY IS THERE NO ‘120 ANALYSTS’ ANSWER?!??\u00a0 Maybe some will get fired while we\u2019re figuring this out so we should round-up to 135. <\/em><\/p>\n 00:24 SECONDS LEFT ON THE BIG, BLACK COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN THE RIGHTHAND CORNER OF THE SCREEN<\/strong><\/p>\n Kelly, Lisa, Mark and Ned are friends.\u00a0 One is a painter, another a doctor, another a lawyer, and another a salesperson.\u00a0 Each has a hobby: their hobbies are tennis, jogging, poker, and gardening.<\/p>\n Even if we did not know that Kelly\u2019s hobby is tennis, which of the following statements could we deduce to be true? 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 1 only WHAT.\u00a0 THE.\u00a0 HELL???\u00a0\u00a0I HATE\u00a0Kelly, Lisa, Mark and Ned.\u00a0 They\u00a0have friends.\u00a0 They\u00a0have hobbies.\u00a0 And?\u00a0 THEY ALSO HAVE JOBS.\u00a0\u00a0WHICH I WILL NEVER, EVER HAVE IF\u00a0I\u00a0KEEP TAKING TESTS LIKE THIS.\u00a0 CHOOSE AN ANSWER!\u00a0 CHOOSE AN ANSWER!!!\u00a0 YOU\u2019RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME!!!!!!!<\/em><\/p>\n Your test has concluded.\u00a0 We will contact you shortly if you are a candidate for employment.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Remember that part in yesterday’s blog about pre-employment tests?\u00a0 And remember how I said there were TWO tests – but then\u00a0only told you about ONE of them?\u00a0\u00a0Well today, Boys & Girls, we’ll\u00a0discuss Test Number 2.\u00a0 Officially it was called a “Criteria Cognitive Aptitude Test” but I fondly refer to it as “OMG!\u00a0 Why do I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1883"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1883"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1883\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1895,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1883\/revisions\/1895"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 32 minutes
\n3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 50 minutes
\n4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 70 minutes
\n5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 90 minutes<\/p>\n
\n1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Omnipotent
\n2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Refined
\n3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Modest
\n4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Undignified
\n5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Gorgeous<\/p>\n
\n1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 GUN is to ABDUCT
\n2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 REFRIGERATOR is to COOL
\n3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 CAGE is to FEED
\n4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 DOOR is to CLOSE
\n5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 FIELD is to WANDER<\/p>\n
\n1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 45
\n2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 60
\n3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 75
\n4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 90
\n5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 135<\/p>\n\n
\nA-Kelly is either the painter or the salesperson
\nB-Nancy\u2019s hobby is gardening
\nC-Mark\u2019s hobby is either poker or tennis<\/p>\n
\n2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 2 only
\n3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 3 only
\n4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 1 and 2
\n5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 1 and 3<\/p>\n