{"id":1859,"date":"2013-09-19T10:29:43","date_gmt":"2013-09-19T16:29:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1859"},"modified":"2013-09-19T10:29:43","modified_gmt":"2013-09-19T16:29:43","slug":"happy-hump-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1859","title":{"rendered":"Happy Hump Day!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Yesterday\u00a0was Hump Day.\u00a0 Which means the week peaked.\u00a0 We’re up and OVER the hump, and we’re\u00a0on the downslope now; There’s nothing left to do but coast on into the week-end.<\/p>\n

And coast I will…<\/p>\n

Because my hump day was a DOOZIE!<\/p>\n

First stop on Happy Hump Day?\u00a0 Get\u00a0the kids to school, get gas in the car’s\u00a0beyond-empty\u00a0gas tank,\u00a0get\u00a0to my annual GYNECOLOGIST\u00a0appointment.\u00a0 (Doesn’t that word just OOZE horrible-ness?\u00a0 And doesn’t the word OOZE just ooze\u00a0horrible-ness??)<\/p>\n

The whole gee-why-en visit\u00a0could be its own stand-alone\u00a0blog post.\u00a0 But I’ll just suffice to say that – for some strange reason – I had the\u00a0song lyrics from “One Night in Bangkok” running through my head the whole time.\u00a0 I get my kicks ABOVE the waistline, Sunshine!*\u00a0 <\/em>Oh…and also, Doc?\u00a0 No TALKING!!!\u00a0 Do not CHAT with me while you’re doing THAT!!!!\u00a0 And if you EVER offer me COFFEE while you’re doing THAT, down THERE?!?\u00a0 I’m gonna gather up my backless gown and crinkly paper apron and head-for-the-hills!!<\/p>\n

Next stop on Happy Hump Day?\u00a0 Lunch Lady Duty!\u00a0 Where everyone assured me that “Cheeseburger and Chips” was one of the easiest lunches to serve.\u00a0 But no “cheeseburger” or “chips” for me.\u00a0 I got stuck offering\u00a0canned-peaches-in-heavy-syrup out of what looked like a dirty crayon bin.\u00a0\u00a0I started to take\u00a0personally ALL the faces the kids were making when I would give\u00a0them a scoop.\u00a0\u00a0Like I was single-handedly bringing down the\u00a0cheeseburger-and-chips party.\u00a0 But maybe it wasn’t the peaches?\u00a0\u00a0Maybe I should have used my OTHER arm to serve them with?\u00a0\u00a0You know, the arm that DIDN’T have the cottonball-squished-down-by-a-piece-of-medical tape\u00a0covering up the morning’s blood-draw site.\u00a0 Maybe THAT’S what all the faces were about??\u00a0 Either way, by the end of my tour of duty, my feet were hurting like sumbitches.\u00a0 Which is\u00a0what I get for standing for\u00a0hours, sloppin’ peaches in my super-cute-but-excruciatingly-uncomfortable shoes.\u00a0 In my own defense, all I can say is, “Hey!\u00a0 You GOTTA dress to impress\u00a0the gee-why-en\u00a0who will never, EVER see your shoes because she’s so busy\u00a0seeing the BOTTOM of your\u00a0BARE FEET.\u00a0 And speaking of BOTTOMS, that reminds me…DO NOT CHAT WITH ME WHILE YOUR DOING THAT!\u00a0 DOWN THERE!!!”<\/p>\n

After I wolf down a free-but-ice-cold cheeseburger, I head to my school fundraising meeting.\u00a0 Which lasts until school gets out.\u00a0 At which point I get a call from a neighbor that Gramma\u00a0was going to pick up her kids but Gramma\u00a0locked her keys in the car.\u00a0 Would I take her kids AND Gramma\u00a0home with me so Gramma could get her spare keys??<\/p>\n

Sure!\u00a0 What else am I doing?\u00a0 And after giving strict instructions to all double-buckled kids-in-the-back-seat to “Duck!”\u00a0if the cops come, we finally make it home.\u00a0 Sissy quickly changes for her softball game, Sonny takes the lonely dog for a walk and we’re back in the car – with Gramma AND\u00a0her spare keys AND the lonely dog\u00a0– heading\u00a0back to school\u00a0so Gramma can get her car,\u00a0Sissy can get to her softball game and the dog can be a freak in FRONT of other people (instead of in the privacy of our laundry room).<\/p>\n

Second-to-last\u00a0stop on Happy Hump Day?\u00a0 Fast food dinner.\u00a0 Because after the softball game is over at\u00a07:30 p.m., who wants to\u00a0cook dinner?\u00a0 Not me, that’s for damn sure!\u00a0\u00a0And you know who ELSE doesn’t want to cook dinner after a long day?!?\u00a0 My GEE-WHY-EN!\u00a0 You know how I know this??\u00a0 Because\u00a0she’s sitting\u00a0RIGHT THERE!\u00a0 RIGHT INSIDE THE DOOR OF\u00a0CHIPOTLE’S!!\u00a0 EATING DINNER WITH HER DAUGHTER as I walk in!!!<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0What are the chances of THAT?!??!\u00a0 But instead of a big reunion scene,\u00a0we just nod discreetly\u00a0to each other.\u00a0 Because really?\u00a0 Who wants to draw attention to the fact that both of us were involved in giving-and-receiving\u00a0hoo-haw checks today?!\u00a0\u00a0Not me.\u00a0 That’s for DAMN sure!<\/p>\n

Last and FINAL stop on Happy Hump Day?\u00a0\u00a0I’m\u00a0in bed.\u00a0 Falling asleep.\u00a0 When\u00a0I realize that my nose zit is back.\u00a0 On the right outer nostril rim.\u00a0 But inside.\u00a0\u00a0But not ALL the way inside.\u00a0 In other words, I can\u2019t gitatit\u00a0from OUTSIDE\u00a0my nose.\u00a0 And I can\u2019t gitatit\u00a0from INSIDE\u00a0my nose.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s inside the outside of my nose.\u00a0 Ouch.\u00a0 Yep, still hurts.\u00a0 Ouch, yep.\u00a0 Ouch!\u00a0 Yep, still hurts.\u00a0 Ouch, yep.<\/p>\n

Annnnd??\u00a0 We’re on the downslope.\u00a0 Nothin’ but smooth sailin’ from here-on-in.\u00a0 Just coastin’ on in to the week-end at this point.\u00a0 Just coaszzzzztin’.\u00a0 Coaszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzztin’.\u00a0 Coaszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*Lyrics from “One Night in Bangkok,”\u00a0originally sung by the British actor and pop-dance singer Murray Head on\u00a0the 1984 album from\u00a0the musical Chess<\/em>.\u00a0 The song was composed by former ABBA members Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus and lyrics were written by Tim Rice.\u00a0\u00a0Come on, People!\u00a0\u00a0Even if you aren’t going the play the “80’s song for every moment in life” game with me, you HAVE to give me props for this one!!!\u00a0 Everything about it\u00a0SCREAMS 80’s!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday\u00a0was Hump Day.\u00a0 Which means the week peaked.\u00a0 We’re up and OVER the hump, and we’re\u00a0on the downslope now; There’s nothing left to do but coast on into the week-end. And coast I will… Because my hump day was a DOOZIE! First stop on Happy Hump Day?\u00a0 Get\u00a0the kids to school, get gas in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1859"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1859"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1859\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1867,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1859\/revisions\/1867"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}