{"id":1775,"date":"2013-09-03T08:54:11","date_gmt":"2013-09-03T14:54:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1775"},"modified":"2013-09-03T08:54:11","modified_gmt":"2013-09-03T14:54:11","slug":"sigh-of-relief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1775","title":{"rendered":"Sigh of Relief"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Why do I breathe such a sigh of relief when the kids leave the house in the morning??\u00a0\u00a0Aren’t these the people I LIVE for afterall?!?<\/p>\n

It’s not like I have a job outside the home or anything, so what else am I doing, if not LIVING\u00a0for THEM<\/em>?!!?\u00a0 As a side note:\u00a0 “A Job Outside the Home” is the euphemism that people use when they just want to ask\u00a0if you have a\u00a0“real job.”\u00a0 I find that when they ask if you have “A Job Outside the Home”\u00a0it’s best to reply,\u00a0“No.\u00a0 But thanks for bringing it up,”\u00a0while giving them the\u00a0stink eye.\u00a0 This accomplishes two things: 1) it\u00a0shuts ’em up and hurries ’em off\u00a0while 2) making them think that you have a top-secret tale of death and destruction\u00a0that\u00a0can only be shared if they have the proper clearance level.\u00a0 Which they don’t.\u00a0 So move along.<\/p>\n

Hey!\u00a0 A little mystery never hurts.\u00a0 And?\u00a0 It’s WAAaaay better than the usual soft-shoe, “Well…ya see….I HAD a job…but then they TOOK it…I don’t say LOST it (heh heh heh)…because that makes it sound like I’ll find it eventually with last year’s Christmas decorations (heh heh heh)…blahbity blah BLAH!!!!”<\/p>\n

Anywhooo.\u00a0 Back to me and my sigh of relief.\u00a0 When\u00a0I think back to\u00a0my OWN\u00a0grade school mornings, I\u00a0always picture my mother\u00a0sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.\u00a0 We’re\u00a0not even\u00a0OUT of the house yet,\u00a0and she already\u00a0looks like the central figure in that\u00a0painting by Edgar Degas called The Absinthe Drinker<\/a>*.\u00a0 [FYI, “L’Absinthe*” is the official title of the painting.\u00a0 How do I know this?\u00a0\u00a0In case I haven’t mentioned it before: I HAVE A BACHELOR’S DEGREE IN FRENCH SO HIRE ME ALREADY!!!\u00a0 And part of\u00a0getting said bachelor’s degree was to spend\u00a0every day – for months on end – prowling the\u00a0museums of\u00a0Paris.\u00a0 Every day.\u00a0 For months.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah – I know.\u00a0 It was a tough job, but someone had to do it.]<\/p>\n

‘Cept in my memory, my mother isn’t wearing the fancy hat and shoes that Madame Absinthe* is wearing.\u00a0 She’s wearing a housecoat*.\u00a0 And while Mom is\u00a0WAY prettier than Madame A*,\u00a0she does have that same exhausted look on her face*.\u00a0\u00a0Oh – and?\u00a0 The cup in\u00a0front of Mom\u00a0contained COFFEE*.\u00a0\u00a0But\u00a0I wouldn’t\u00a0have blamed her if it WAS absinthe*!\u00a0 She had FIVE\u00a0kids to get out the door.\u00a0 I only have TWO.\u00a0\u00a0And living outside my body in the mornings for just TWO little people is utterly, utterly exhausting*.<\/p>\n

[SIGH<\/em>]\u00a0 Well.\u00a0 Now they’re gone until 3 p.m.\u00a0 And me?\u00a0\u00a0I gotta go get another cup ‘a\u00a0coffee*.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0*Settle down, Sparky.\u00a0 We all know is wasn’t absinthe in Mom’s coffee cup.\u00a0\u00a0Please don’t even imply (or assume)\u00a0it was absinthe.\u00a0 Otherwise Mom won’t be able to show her face around her women’s golf group again now that her knee is feeling better.\u00a0 So again – for the record – IT WAS NOT<\/strong><\/span> ABSINTHE IN HER COFFEE CUP.\u00a0 IT WAS JUST<\/em> COFFEE. [stink eye, stink eye<\/em>]\u00a0 Now move along.\u00a0 There’s nothin’ to see here,\u00a0Folks.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why do I breathe such a sigh of relief when the kids leave the house in the morning??\u00a0\u00a0Aren’t these the people I LIVE for afterall?!? It’s not like I have a job outside the home or anything, so what else am I doing, if not LIVING\u00a0for THEM?!!?\u00a0 As a side note:\u00a0 “A Job Outside the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1775"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1775"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1775\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1786,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1775\/revisions\/1786"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}