{"id":1765,"date":"2013-08-30T14:46:52","date_gmt":"2013-08-30T20:46:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1765"},"modified":"2013-08-30T14:50:32","modified_gmt":"2013-08-30T20:50:32","slug":"the-nose-knows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1765","title":{"rendered":"The Nose Knows"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I have the WORST\u00a0internal nose pimple of all time.\u00a0 On the right outer nostril rim.\u00a0 But inside.\u00a0 But not ALL the way inside.\u00a0 In other words, I can’t gitatit\u00a0from OUTSIDE\u00a0my nose.\u00a0 And I can’t gitatit\u00a0from INSIDE\u00a0my nose.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0It’s inside the outside of my nose.<\/p>\n

TMI?!?\u00a0\u00a0Naw!\u00a0 It’s just us and you won’t tell anyone, right??<\/p>\n

Anyway, it hurts sooo much that I have to keep feeling it to see if it still hurts.\u00a0 Ouch.\u00a0 Yep, still hurts.\u00a0 Ouch, yep.\u00a0 Ouch!\u00a0 Yep, still hurts.\u00a0 Ouch, yep.<\/p>\n

And it’s become…unsightly.\u00a0\u00a0Which has led me to draw my own conclusions\u00a0about\u00a0why\u00a0Rudolph’s nose was\u00a0bright red like that.\u00a0 I had always suspected an\u00a0overindulgence in\u00a0peppermint schnapps was to blame\u00a0– but it turns out his nose\u00a0glowed\u00a0because he probably had an internal nose pimple too.<\/p>\n

Ugh.\u00a0 Seriously.\u00a0\u00a0I can feel the Beat of My Heart (Foreigner, 1988 – and it turns out there IS an 80’s song for every moment in life…including those moments when you have an internal nose pimple) in the TIP of\u00a0my nose.\u00a0 EVERY\u00a0beat of my heart.\u00a0 Buh-boom.\u00a0 Ow.\u00a0 Buh-boom.\u00a0 Ow!<\/p>\n

Also?\u00a0 I look like that chick in all those Picasso paintings.\u00a0 That chick who’s looking straight at you but her nose is shifted off to the side.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, that chick.<\/p>\n

I’m glad SOMEBODY made it to the bigtime with their nose pimple.\u00a0\u00a0It’s really hard to function with one (not only does it hurt, but it makes your eye water constantly – so that might explain her wonky lookin’ eye too) so kudos to her for being able to sit through the pain while Picasso painted her umpteem times.\u00a0 Her AND her\u00a0off-set nose.<\/p>\n

Hey – speaking of NOSES!!!\u00a0 Ow.\u00a0 Yep, still hurts.\u00a0 Ouch –\u00a0yep!\u00a0\u00a0Ooh!!\u00a0\u00a0Yep.\u00a0 Still hurts…<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have the WORST\u00a0internal nose pimple of all time.\u00a0 On the right outer nostril rim.\u00a0 But inside.\u00a0 But not ALL the way inside.\u00a0 In other words, I can’t gitatit\u00a0from OUTSIDE\u00a0my nose.\u00a0 And I can’t gitatit\u00a0from INSIDE\u00a0my nose.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0It’s inside the outside of my nose. TMI?!?\u00a0\u00a0Naw!\u00a0 It’s just us and you won’t tell anyone, right?? Anyway, it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1765"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1771,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765\/revisions\/1771"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1765"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1765"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1765"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}