{"id":1760,"date":"2013-08-29T16:26:59","date_gmt":"2013-08-29T22:26:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1760"},"modified":"2013-08-29T16:26:59","modified_gmt":"2013-08-29T22:26:59","slug":"mad-skillz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1760","title":{"rendered":"Mad Skillz"},"content":{"rendered":"
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So…a friend and I were volunteering at a fundraising auction\u00a0this week-end.\u00a0 And as we were closing down the event,\u00a0I found the\u00a0auctioneer’s business card over by the checkout stations.\u00a0 This is how it read:<\/p>\n

Auctioneer.\u00a0 Counselor.\u00a0 Pastoral Care.\u00a0 Singing Telegrams.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Wait!\u00a0 What?!?<\/p>\n

That is the most RANDOM\u00a0collection of mad skillz I’ve ever seen on one business card.\u00a0 But it makes a certain amount of cross-sell\/up-sell business sense.\u00a0\u00a0If people really like her work as a counselor, then perhaps\u00a0she’ll be top-of-mind when a singing telegram need arises.\u00a0 Brilliant!<\/p>\n

What should I put on MY business card?!?<\/p>\n

Blogger.\u00a0 Stay at home mom.\u00a0\u00a0Crocheter.\u00a0\u00a0Singing Telegrams.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

As for the singing telegrams,\u00a0just to be clear:\u00a0I don’t really do Broadway Show Tunes or anything.\u00a0 Nor Barber Shop Quartet-y type stuff.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0In fact, I\u00a0don’t really do singing telegrams at all.\u00a0 But\u00a0if I did, I would specialize in\u00a0Songs from the 80’s.\u00a0 And I’d have to have a few beers first.<\/p>\n

But the ‘Singing Telegrams’ thing is\u00a0SUCH\u00a0an eye-catcher, that I’m gonna put it on my business cards anyway.\u00a0\u00a0And then I’m gonna\u00a0have the business cards MADE.\u00a0 And then\u00a0I’m gonna find a place where I can hand them out (to MORE than just my kids, ’cause they pay piss-poor wages).\u00a0 And then I’m gonna wait for the phone calls to roll in.\u00a0 At which point I’ll notify the unemployment office that I don’t need them OR\u00a0their sorry 18.2% benefit-reduction<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Ok.\u00a0 Good plan.<\/p>\n

But not yet, Unemployment Office!\u00a0 Not quite<\/em> yet!!\u00a0\u00a0Don’t do anything\u00a0with my benefits quite\u00a0YET<\/em>!!!<\/p>\n

But the money’s coming soon, I can just tell.\u00a0 “Do what you love, and the money will follow.”\u00a0 That’s what my dear friend,\u00a0Ohps*, always says.\u00a0 And I’m embracing that concept like never before.\u00a0\u00a0Don’t believe me?\u00a0\u00a0Just take a look at my\u00a0business cards.\u00a0\u00a0I’m going places…and I’m singing the whole way there.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*Something you may not know about me is that Oprah Winfrey and I are dear friends.\u00a0 In fact, I know Oprah\u00a0so well that I call her\u00a0Ohps.\u00a0\u00a0 Now that I think about it, though, I do have to say our friendship has been a bit one-sided in recent years.\u00a0 I mean, if you asked her about me, she’d probably say she’s never heard of me.\u00a0\u00a0But pay that no never mind.\u00a0 She still had some insightful stuff to say for a billionaire.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So…a friend and I were volunteering at a fundraising auction\u00a0this week-end.\u00a0 And as we were closing down the event,\u00a0I found the\u00a0auctioneer’s business card over by the checkout stations.\u00a0 This is how it read: Auctioneer.\u00a0 Counselor.\u00a0 Pastoral Care.\u00a0 Singing Telegrams. Wait!\u00a0 What?!? That is the most RANDOM\u00a0collection of mad skillz I’ve ever seen on one business […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1760"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1760"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1764,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1760\/revisions\/1764"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}