I overheard the following conversation between two newly minted fourth grade boys today…<\/p>\n
Boy 1: (ok, full disclosure: it’s Sonny)\u00a0 “Hey!\u00a0 Have you seen those commercials where that old gramma\u00a0falls and she can’t get up and she has that thing you push to call for help?”<\/strong><\/p>\n Boy 2: “Yeah.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Boy 1:\u00a0 “Well I’ve seen one where it’s a lady who falls…IN A BATHTUB!”<\/strong><\/p>\n Boy 2:\u00a0 “What?\u00a0 I haven’t seen that one!\u00a0 What’s she wearing??”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Boy 1:\u00a0 “Nothing as far as I could see.\u00a0 She was just all covered in bubbles.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Boy 2:\u00a0 [horrified yet titillated] “But she HAD to be wearing SOMETHING?!”<\/strong><\/p>\n Boy 1:\u00a0 “I know, right?\u00a0 Otherwise the firefighters are gonna be pretty\u00a0embarrassed when they come to help her.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Yes, boys.\u00a0 The FIREFIGHTERS will be embarrassed\u00a0during the rescue.\u00a0\u00a0No one ELSE will be embarrassed during the rescue because bubbles keep you\u00a0safe from whatever ails you.<\/p>\n But this just reminds me of why I hate school so much.\u00a0 First off, I hate\u00a0that sick feeling\u00a0in my stomach\u00a0the entire week leading UP to the start of school.\u00a0 Trust me when I say I “shared” my sick feeling with everyone\u00a0else in the house\u00a0by acting like an\u00a0a$$ and announcing each day as it arrived: “This is the LAST Tuesday of summer vacation!!\u00a0\u00a0This is the LAST WEDNESDAY<\/em>\u00a0of summer vacation!!!” and so forth.\u00a0 Totally\u00a0helpful,\u00a0right??\u00a0 And I’m not even the one actually GOING to school!<\/p>\n Aside from that, what I REALLY hate about school starting is that\u00a0Mean Mom comes to roost.\u00a0\u00a0She yells\u00a0non-stop about all the\u00a0paperwork that needs to be completed.\u00a0\u00a0All the homework that’s not getting done.\u00a0 All the lunches that need to be made.\u00a0 All the people who need to GET UP AND GET MOVIN’!\u00a0\u00a0All the cars that\u00a0NEED TO LEAVE NOW<\/em> IN ORDER TO\u00a0GET TO SCHOOL ON TIME!!!<\/p>\n And once the yelling starts, it seems like it doesn’t stop until NEXT summer.\u00a0 Because Mean Mom\u00a0falls completely over the edge of reason.\u00a0 And\u00a0when she falls, she\u00a0can’t get up.<\/p>\n WHERE ARE THE BUBBLES WHEN YOU NEED THEM?!??\u00a0 WHERE.\u00a0 ARE.\u00a0 THE.\u00a0 %#^&ING!\u00a0\u00a0BUBBLES?!?!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I overheard the following conversation between two newly minted fourth grade boys today… Boy 1: (ok, full disclosure: it’s Sonny)\u00a0 “Hey!\u00a0 Have you seen those commercials where that old gramma\u00a0falls and she can’t get up and she has that thing you push to call for help?” Boy 2: “Yeah.” Boy 1:\u00a0 “Well I’ve seen one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1722"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1722"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1722\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1728,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1722\/revisions\/1728"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1722"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1722"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1722"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}