{"id":1718,"date":"2013-08-16T15:51:10","date_gmt":"2013-08-16T21:51:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1718"},"modified":"2013-08-16T15:51:10","modified_gmt":"2013-08-16T21:51:10","slug":"the-partys-over","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1718","title":{"rendered":"The party’s over"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Just played my\u00a0last tennis match o’ the summer season\u00a0the other night.<\/p>\n

And?\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0WON!\u00a0 And of course when I say “I”, I mean my doubles partner and I (Howdy, Pardner! ;-).<\/p>\n

What’s my reason for winning THIS time, you ask?\u00a0 Last time it was because I was playing against hypoglycemic-attackopolis<\/a>.\u00a0 And the time before that it was because I was playing against drunkypoo-botoxorama<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It couldn’t be that I\u00a0won simply because I’m….GOOD*?!\u00a0 No?!?\u00a0 I\u00a0gotta have an EXCUSE as to why I won?!??<\/p>\n

Ok.\u00a0 Well.\u00a0 There IS\u00a0a reason.\u00a0 Originally\u00a0I didn’t want to mention\u00a0it\u00a0because it makes me sound a little mentally unstable.\u00a0 But here goes: the truth is that we played against the\u00a0Fairy Godmothers from Cinderella.<\/p>\n

See?\u00a0 It sounds wacky, but it’s totally true.<\/p>\n

For the sake of argument, we’ll call them\u00a0Fauna and Merriweather.\u00a0 Now, Fauna and Merriweather\u00a0didn’t bring their\u00a0tiny\u00a0wings and wands to this particular match (which was\u00a0their own dumb fault ’cause those\u00a0woulda come in\u00a0super-handy for winning).\u00a0 Instead they\u00a0brought their\u00a0sweet, motherly faces and\u00a0encouraging attitudes.\u00a0 But I knew who they were all the same, which made me feel REALLY\u00a0bad when I would slam\u00a0the ball at their\u00a0feet.\u00a0 (Hey!\u00a0 My pro told me to do it.\u00a0 And I alllllways do what my pro tells me to do.\u00a0 Right, Pro?\u00a0 Hi, Pro! \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

They coulda trotted out their mad fairy skillzzzz at any point during the match and evened things up a bit.\u00a0 (Actually…they did even things up at one point sans fairy power which\u00a0kinda had me panicked because I was gonna be DIPPED if I lost to FAIRY GODMOTHERS!\u00a0\u00a0So Pardner and\u00a0I poured on a little of our own “magic” and\u00a0got ‘er done.)<\/p>\n

Afterwards, during party time, neither godmother held the win against us and\u00a0continued to be just as chatty and genial as ever.\u00a0 In fact,\u00a0Fauna\u00a0even plopped a big scoop of her homemade-chicken-salad-with-tarragon on\u00a0our snack plates (without us even\u00a0having to ask for it\u00a0–\u00a0she just KNEW we wanted some!) while\u00a0Merriweather plied us with pink wine.\u00a0 (Come on!\u00a0 PINK WINE?!?\u00a0 You guys see what I’m talking about, right?\u00a0 It’s not just me, right??!\u00a0 They were very CLEARLY\u00a0Fairy Godmothers, RIGHT?!??)<\/p>\n

Now.\u00a0 Let’s just pause right here.\u00a0 And\u00a0get something clear among ourselves.\u00a0 If you want to play tennis in the countryclub league, you have to be like one of those\u00a0strange creatures straight out of Greek Mythology.\u00a0 Not necessarily magical.\u00a0 Or a\u00a0sweet, motherly fairy.\u00a0\u00a0Fauna and Merriweather went\u00a0above and beyond the call of duty on that one.\u00a0\u00a0What I’m talking about here are those creatures that are half one thing and half something else – like a\u00a0Harpie\u00a0for instance (oooh – no reason I chose that creature.\u00a0 Just an example.\u00a0 If you read anything more into it then maybe that’s YOUR\u00a0problem).\u00a0 A harpie is\u00a0half woman, half bird.<\/p>\n

‘Cept in the tennis countryclub league you have to be half athlete half social-drinker-bordering-on-party-animal.\u00a0 You KNOW what I’m talking about, Tennis Peeps.\u00a0 Don’t act like you don’t!\u00a0\u00a0And it was during this particular post-match sorority social\u00a0with these particular tennis harpies that the topic of everyone’s age came up.\u00a0 My mouth was full of\u00a0chicken salad, so I didn’t get involved.\u00a0\u00a0But honestly, everyone else went around the table shouting out ages like they\u00a0were counting off for gym class.\u00a0 It was way-wacky.\u00a0 But it turns out Fauna is several years younger than I am while Merriweather is\u00a0a few years younger than Pardner.<\/p>\n

Huh??!\u00a0\u00a0Well that’s weird.\u00a0 I could have SWORN these women were much older than\u00a0us.\u00a0 Turns out – WE\u00a0were the older ones!\u00a0\u00a0In which case, forget all that crazy rambling about\u00a0Fairy Godmothers.\u00a0 Skip it!\u00a0 And zip it.\u00a0 I don’t wanna hear how that made me\u00a0sound insane (for just a sec, though).\u00a0\u00a0Turns out I might actually be a good-or-at-least-not-half-bad tennis player who drank too much pink wine.\u00a0 And now the party’s over.\u00a0 At least until next season.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*Wellllll, “good” might be a strong word.\u00a0 How’s about “better” ’cause really when you think about where I started, there was nowhere else to go but UP!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just played my\u00a0last tennis match o’ the summer season\u00a0the other night. And?\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0WON!\u00a0 And of course when I say “I”, I mean my doubles partner and I (Howdy, Pardner! ;-). What’s my reason for winning THIS time, you ask?\u00a0 Last time it was because I was playing against hypoglycemic-attackopolis.\u00a0 And the time before that it was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1718"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1718"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1721,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1718\/revisions\/1721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}