I tried.\u00a0 I really, really tried.<\/p>\n
I went to the library – got some (what I thought were) awesome books – and really, really tried to read them.<\/p>\n
(Remember that part where I was going to focus on running only those errands that didn’t cost money?\u00a0\u00a0Well the trip to the library was one of them.)<\/p>\n
First up – “Helen Keller in Love” by Rosie Sultan.\u00a0 By page 28 I had had enough of all of the descriptions of smells and vibrations (through the floor, the table, the ground, the railing)\u00a0I was gonna be able to take.\u00a0 So I had to move on.<\/p>\n
But by page 9 of “Bring up the Bodies” by Hilary Mantel I felt like I was engaging in a full-on research project (rather than just an easy-read).\u00a0\u00a0I had visited the 4 page Cast of Characters three times and the 2 page family tree twice.\u00a0 In addition, I also had to look up 5 portraits by Hans Holbein, the Lesser.\u00a0 And then I had to look up Hans’ portrait and figure out why he was called the Lesser (his dad Hans Holbein Sr. was the “Greater” that’s why.\u00a0 Duh!).<\/p>\n
Despite the research involved, this\u00a0big, long Cromwellian stream-of-consciousness\u00a0wasn’t a total loss.\u00a0 For example, on page 364 (of 407 pages mind you) I\u00a0finally find out what the phrase “Bring up the Bodies” actually means.\u00a0 And I learned way more than I ever wanted to about the last few months of the life of a woman named Anne who’s been dead for 500 years\u00a0(and her family – the Boleyn’s, and their king – King Henry VIII, and his family – the Tudors, and their\u00a0servants, and their families, and their servants’ families…)<\/p>\n
Let’s stop right here for a second and quickly discuss the methodology my husband says I use to choose books.\u00a0 It’s the same way I choose racehorses.\u00a0 By the name and the colors.\u00a0 Nothin’ else needed.\u00a0 The front cover includes some sort of Old\u00a0Masters portrait\u00a0of long-dead royalty wearing pearls?\u00a0\u00a0Check!\u00a0 Or howz about\u00a0folks dressed in Victorian garb faded to sepia tones?\u00a0\u00a0Check!\u00a0 The\u00a0word “queen” is in the title coupled with the implication of romance??\u00a0 Checkity check check!\u00a0 And at this point I do have to admit a bit of ignorance with the whole\u00a0library check-out process.\u00a0 I was honestly convinced that if I took THREE books from the\u00a0Xpress Area\u00a0(a special library display of newly released\/available books – but maybe you knew that already?) that an alarm was going to sound.\u00a0 Either as I took the books or when I checked them out.\u00a0 Turns out, no alarm.<\/p>\n
Anywhooo…after slogging through that book, I eventually\u00a0moved on to the “Highlander Series” by Maya\u00a0Banks.\u00a0\u00a0Not a waste of time at all!\u00a0 As the name implies, it was actually a trilogy:\u00a0“In\u00a0Bed with a Highlander”,\u00a0“Seduction of a Highland Lass” and “Never Love a Highlander”.\u00a0\u00a0Them there is some good reads.\u00a0 The covers were of appealing people dressed in swathes of plaid in what I believe might have been compromising positions – but it was hard to tell with all the plaid all over the place\u00a0(can anyone else actually hear<\/em>\u00a0my father\u00a0rolling his eyes from where they are, or is it just me?).\u00a0 But what’s weird about these covers\u00a0is that you’re not sure how they\u00a0get into those odd poses on the front.\u00a0 I mean,\u00a0there’s no way the\u00a0heroine can actually have\u00a0a left arm and still lie like that.\u00a0 And neither can the hero for that matter.<\/p>\n In which case, for my money, there’s nothing better than one-armed Scottish people in love!!\u00a0 Thus making the\u00a0foray into free-errand ‘ville an outright\u00a0success.<\/p>\n Final read – “The Queen’s Lover” by Francine du Plessix Gray.\u00a0\u00a0Just the author’s name was enough for me, really.\u00a0 But the cover did have overturned Louis Quatorze furniture on it and it is<\/em> about Marie Antoinette after all…so it’s another must-read.<\/p>\n ADDENDUM: I am not an author and cannot fully appreciate how hard it might be to write books.\u00a0 Absolutely no harm was intended by my light-hearted (not malicious in any way) comments.\u00a0 Highly Talented Authors: we thank you for your oeuvres.\u00a0 Also…I just received an electronic notice from the library and the book I placed on hold 7 weeks ago is in.\u00a0 50 Shades of Grey here I come!!!!!\u00a0 And in a humorous twist of fate – my electronic copy of How to be an American Housewife is now also available.\u00a0 Funny, right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I tried.\u00a0 I really, really tried. I went to the library – got some (what I thought were) awesome books – and really, really tried to read them. (Remember that part where I was going to focus on running only those errands that didn’t cost money?\u00a0\u00a0Well the trip to the library was one of them.) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":153,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions\/153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}