{"id":1405,"date":"2013-06-03T16:07:43","date_gmt":"2013-06-03T22:07:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1405"},"modified":"2013-06-03T16:07:43","modified_gmt":"2013-06-03T22:07:43","slug":"old-bags-from-tennis-sucktown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1405","title":{"rendered":"Old Bags from Tennis Sucktown"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ok.\u00a0 Slight problem.\u00a0 There’s an email circulating from my tennis pro about the “Over 40 Tennis League” she’s starting up for the summer.\u00a0 In this same email, she uses the term “Twilight” to describe the league.\u00a0 And separate from this email, I’ve heard that this new team is going to be called the “Silver Team.”<\/p>\n

AAAACCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!<\/p>\n

I have two issues with this concept that I wanted to share with you.<\/p>\n

Issue Number 1:\u00a0 The Over 40\/TWILIGHT Tennis League\/SILVER team??\u00a0 That’s a terrible, TERRIBLE name.\u00a0 Who’s with me here?\u00a0 I mean, come on!\u00a0 The name alone implies that we’re a bunch of old bags from tennis sucktown who are in the twilight of our tennis careers.\u00a0 It pretty much guarantees we have silver hair in varying-shades-of-blue, really saggy arms (aka flying squirrel flaps) and only one good forehand left in us before we keel over into the ball hopper.<\/p>\n

And Issue Number 2?\u00a0\u00a0As far as tennis goes (and life in general actually), I’m pretty sure people mistake me for a cute, 30-something who’s playing “up” an age-bracket or two.\u00a0 But if I start stating right off the bat that I’m OVER 40, then all illusion is lost.\u00a0 And while I’m not shy about stating my age outright<\/a> when asked, I also love me some illusion.<\/p>\n

So what to do, what to do?!?\u00a0 I’d like to continue playing tennis in the summer.\u00a0 But not with a\u00a0League name\u00a0like that!!!<\/p>\n

And then I remembered.\u00a0 I have a tennis pro!\u00a0 Do you??\u00a0 My tennis pro says we should ALWAYS put a positive spin on things.\u00a0 For example, instead of asking if a ball is OUT.\u00a0 We should ask if it’s IN.\u00a0 See?\u00a0 Positive!!\u00a0 So my idea here is to put a positive spin on the Over 40 thing.<\/p>\n

In tennis, there is no score over 40.\u00a0 40 is the highest – and when you’re tied at 40, it’s called Deuce!\u00a0 [Hey!\u00a0 I never said I didn’t KNOW anything about tennis, I just said I WASN’T ANY GOOD AT IT!!!\u00a0 But thanks for bringing THAT up, B^#CH!<\/em>]<\/p>\n

Any point after Deuce is called Add-in (if it’s your point) and Add-out (if it’s your opponent’s point).\u00a0 But me and my silver\/twilight\/over-40 a$$ remembers that back-in-the-day, it was called Advantage You (if it was your opponent’s point after Deuce) or Advantage Me (if it was your point after Deuce).<\/p>\n

You have to see where I’m going here, don’t you??!\u00a0 If we could just change the League name from “Old Bags from Tennis Sucktown” to….”Advantage Me!” then I’m totally in.<\/p>\n

Where do I sign up?!?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ok.\u00a0 Slight problem.\u00a0 There’s an email circulating from my tennis pro about the “Over 40 Tennis League” she’s starting up for the summer.\u00a0 In this same email, she uses the term “Twilight” to describe the league.\u00a0 And separate from this email, I’ve heard that this new team is going to be called the “Silver Team.” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1405"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1409,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405\/revisions\/1409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}