{"id":1263,"date":"2013-04-29T14:14:39","date_gmt":"2013-04-29T20:14:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1263"},"modified":"2013-05-01T10:47:32","modified_gmt":"2013-05-01T16:47:32","slug":"my-lipsticks-are-sealed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1263","title":{"rendered":"My lip(sticks) are sealed!"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I was in grad school, I remember learning that there was an inverse relationship between the economy and lipstick purchases.\u00a0\u00a0That is to say, when the economy is down, lipstick purchases go up.<\/p>\n

Take a look at this picture and make some guesses about my own personal economy.\u00a0 Anyone?\u00a0 Anyone??\u00a0 Bueller??!<\/p>\n

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Three key points I need to\u00a0make here are:<\/p>\n

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  1. Why yes, my personal economy IS down.\u00a0 How did you know?\u00a0 By any chance did we go to grad school together??<\/li>\n
  2. I shoulda married for money and not love and then I wouldn’t have to buy ANY lipsticks at all.\u00a0\u00a0And you know what?\u00a0 My husband says the same thing about me (not the part about lipsticks…but the part about marrying for money – hardy har har.\u00a0 At this point have we become the funniest couple you know or what?\u00a0 If you answered “or what” YOU now become the funniest couple we know.\u00a0 Keep up the good work.)<\/li>\n
  3. Ulta – I am totally DONE with you and your “$3.50 off a purchase of $10 or more” coupon.\u00a0 Because you know what you can buy at-just-the-ten-dollar-mark at your store?\u00a0 LIPSTICK!\u00a0 And I don’t need any more.<\/li>\n
  4. The search for the “perfect red” is over.\u00a0 Not because I found it.\u00a0 But because it doesn’t exist.\u00a0 Maybelline ColorSensational Red Revival matches my chin zit.\u00a0 And correct me if I’m wrong (because I can never keep the lipstick “rules” straight, so I could be wrong)…but I don’t think, as you enter your mid-40’s, that you’re supposed to be matching your lipcolor to your chin zit anymore.\u00a0 Match your lip color to your shoes, YES!\u00a0 Your purse?\u00a0 NO!\u00a0 And chin zit??\u00a0 That was fine in your teens, but at this age it’s too “matchy, matchy.”\u00a0 But thanks for the quintessential-red-that-looks-good-on-everyone tip on that one Redbook.\u00a0 You owe me $6.50 (AFTER coupon).\u00a0 And speaking of Maybelline, their SuperStay lipcolor in Ruby makes my teeth look yellow.\u00a0 And you know what ELSE makes my teeth look yellow?\u00a0 The SECOND SuperStay lipcolor in Ruby that I have because I forgot I had the first one and bought ANOTHER!\u00a0 %#$^\u00a0 And the Ulta brand Extreme Wear lipcolor #204 DOES last all day.\u00a0 ON MY TEETH!!!\u00a0 [And no, there wasn’t a too-tiny-to-read color name on the lipstick tube.\u00a0 Just a number.\u00a0 So screw you and your comments about reading glasses for people entering their mid-40’s<\/em>.]\u00a0 And\u00a0if you’re thinking\u00a0at this point that perhaps it’s the…er…cheaper (that is to say “less expensive”) lipstick brands that I’m having problems with – then you’d be wrong.\u00a0 Because Lancome’s “Jezebel” makes me look like a vampire fresh from\u00a0the killing fields.\u00a0 Cute…or not so much??\u00a0 I’m going with “not so much” but I paid $22 for that privilege.<\/li>\n
  5. So starting now!, I will not buy ANY MORE lipstick.\u00a0 I will NOT be fooled.\u00a0 I have lipstick for every conceivable situation.\u00a0 Breezy summer days, cozy winter nights, take your stay at home mom to drag queen day.\u00a0 You name it!\u00a0 I got it!!\u00a0 And I don’t need more of the same.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And if you realized that there were five points and not the promised THREE…then we DID go to grad school together.\u00a0 What are you doing these days with YOUR<\/em>\u00a0MBA?<\/p>\n

    Me?!\u00a0\u00a0Oh – it’s hard to say.\u00a0\u00a0This and that, mostly.\u00a0 But I can’t give you any more details than that.\u00a0\u00a0Because my lip(sticks) are sealed…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    When I was in grad school, I remember learning that there was an inverse relationship between the economy and lipstick purchases.\u00a0\u00a0That is to say, when the economy is down, lipstick purchases go up. Take a look at this picture and make some guesses about my own personal economy.\u00a0 Anyone?\u00a0 Anyone??\u00a0 Bueller??!         […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1263"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1263"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1271,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1263\/revisions\/1271"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}