{"id":1153,"date":"2013-04-11T09:52:34","date_gmt":"2013-04-11T15:52:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1153"},"modified":"2013-04-11T09:52:34","modified_gmt":"2013-04-11T15:52:34","slug":"week-12-isometric-hold-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1153","title":{"rendered":"Week 12 – Isometric Hold"},"content":{"rendered":"

Week 12 of P90X continues with a closer look at my favorite exercise positions…<\/p>\n

[Are you bored yet?\u00a0 Well you shouldn’t be because you’ve only been doing this for a few days.\u00a0 I’ve been doing this\u00a0FOR 12+ WEEKS!!!\u00a0 SO SUCK IT UP!\u00a0 And read on…]<\/p>\n

Guess what else I’ve been doing for 12+ weeks?!\u00a0\u00a0The Isometric Hold…ALL WRONG!<\/p>\n

Mainly because I didn’t understand what “Isometric” meant.\u00a0 The first time Tony said the word, I knew it had something to do with triangles.\u00a0 Which one of those\u00a0pesky-triangles-that-are-too-much-like-math is the\u00a0isosceles\u00a0triangle, again?\u00a0 Is that the one with\u00a03 crazy sides – all disheveled\u00a0and crap??\u00a0 With two cattywompus\u00a0arms\u00a0and a third short, stubby arm?!?\u00a0\u00a0Yep…I’m pretty sure that’s the one.\u00a0 And while it\u00a0seemed\u00a0a bit weird to do all of my weight-lifts\u00a0with a biiiiig\u00a0LONG arm and a wiiiitttle\u00a0stubby arm, who am I to question Exercise God Horton?\u00a0\u00a0Hey,\u00a0it’s not like it was any odder than any of Tony’s other exercise\u00a0philosophies.\u00a0\u00a0So\u00a0I proceeded\u00a0to exercise\u00a0like that – making sure the whole time that I did all my arm exercises\u00a0where one arm was slightly “off” from the other – just like\u00a0isosceles triangle arms would be, right?<\/p>\n

Let’s pause for a moment here and let me tell you what this triangle\u00a0scenario reminds me of.\u00a0 It reminds me of the time\u00a0I was at Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany.\u00a0 And I had to go to the bathroom in just about every beer tent I went into.\u00a0 [Gee.\u00a0 I wonder why??]<\/em>\u00a0 So I followed these friendly “Ausgang” signs the authorities had so thoughtfully posted everywhere.\u00a0 The signs showed\u00a0a round-headed person urgently hustling to the bathroom.\u00a0 After about the dozenth\u00a0time I followed one of those\u00a0bald bathroom-goers and wound up OUT BEHIND\u00a0yet ANOTHER beer tent, I realized that maybe “Ausgang” didn’t mean “bathroom” afterall.\u00a0\u00a0I HAD GOTTEN THE WORD ALL WRONG!\u00a0 (Achtung, Folks!\u00a0 Ausgang\u00a0means “exit” FYI.)<\/p>\n

Why does “Isometric Hold” remind me of “Ausgang”??\u00a0 ‘Cause I got the word wrong.\u00a0 ALL wrong.\u00a0 I was picturing the WRONG KIND OF TRIANGLE!\u00a0 I was picturing the jacked-up OBLIQUE triangle.\u00a0 Not the ACTUAL\u00a0isosceles triangle, which is all stable and balanced.<\/p>\n

And now?\u00a0 Now I have some weird extra muscle that’s been\u00a0born on my right arm.\u00a0 Only on my right arm.\u00a0 And it’s not even pretty, much less glamorous<\/a>.\u00a0 It looks like a muscle ON the muscle.\u00a0 But not in a hot beach-body way.\u00a0 More in a growth-that-someone-tried-to-remove-and-then-gave-up-and-shoved-back-in\u00a0sort of way.<\/p>\n

God save the queen.\u00a0 And God bless us, everyone.\u00a0\u00a0AND God bless\u00a0America.\u00a0 And God BLESS ME!!!\u00a0 But don’t bless math.\u00a0 Or triangles.\u00a0 OR TONY HORTON!\u00a0 Screw Tony Horton.\u00a0 AND his isosceles triangle.\u00a0 AND the horse they both rode in on.\u00a0 And don’t bless that horse.\u00a0 Or Tony.\u00a0 Which I think I said already, but it bears repeating.\u00a0 And speaking of repeating…again –\u00a0God bless ME.\u00a0 And bless my badly mangled right arm.\u00a0 And all its\u00a0muscles.\u00a0 Its\u00a0weird, weird\u00a0muscles…<\/p>\n

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Food update:<\/p>\n