Don’t get me wrong.\u00a0 I actually LIKE this P90X dvd.\u00a0 It’s just that we have Wesley in the back of the gym who’s acting like Frankenstein fresh out of surgery.\u00a0 And I worry the WHOLE time that he won’t be able to swing his arms around in time to complete the jab-hook-cross-uppercut sequence.\u00a0 I mean, it’s SOOOO distracting I can’t focus on anything else.<\/p>\n
Except for the repetition-countdown-clock in the lower left corner of the screen.\u00a0 That I watch like a FRIGGIN’ HAWK!\u00a0 And ya know what?\u00a0 Tony spends the whole time trying to pull a fast one on us.\u00a0 He constantly does one or two more reps than we’ve accounted for.\u00a0 CUT THAT CRAP OUT RIGHT NOW, Tone-ster.\u00a0 None of us are here to challenge ourselves.\u00a0 We’re here to survive.\u00a0 And in Wesley’s case, he’s busy just trying to remember where he left his black orthopedic shoes and turtleneck.<\/p>\n
Instead of your rep-rip-off scam, Tony, why don’t you focus more on coming up with creative Kenpo-specific exercises?<\/p>\n
You see, there comes this point in the dvd where he clearly runs\u00a0out of things to do\u00a0and it suddenly becomes “X Time.”\u00a0 Basically “X Time” is an airborne spread eagle done over and over again.\u00a0 There may be some “power noises” we’re also required to make\u00a0during “X Time.”\u00a0 My power noises may sound suspiciously like swearwords aimed specifically at Tony’s manhood.\u00a0 But aside from the “power noises” I’m not sure what the rest of “X Time”\u00a0has to do with\u00a0martial arts.\u00a0 So KNOCK IT OFF!\u00a0 It’s way too pee-provoking and I\u00a0don’t care if we’re trying to buy Wesley some time as he lurches around\u00a0in the background towelling\u00a0off.\u00a0 More karate, less jumping.\u00a0 Now back to work!<\/p>\n
And speaking of WORK, if I had a job I wouldn’t be doing\u00a0ANY of this nonsense.\u00a0 So…more jobs, less nonsense!<\/p>\n
But until that job arrives…while I’m mostly focused on Wesley (and Tony natch), I do have to mention that\u00a0there are two other folks in this dvd.\u00a0 One is a red-haired chick named Vanessa.\u00a0 All I know about her is that she’s engaged to a dude in another P90X dvd.\u00a0 In fact, I\u00a0think he’s in the Ab Ripper X dvd.\u00a0 So I see him quite frequently.\u00a0 Perhaps more frequently than Vanessa does?\u00a0\u00a0Either way, it’s best that they’re together.\u00a0 I find that fit, Tony-Hortonish\u00a0people should marry and\u00a0have fit, Tony-Hortonish\u00a0babies and leave the rest of us out of it.<\/p>\n
Finally, there’s Tony 2.\u00a0 He’s #2 because he’s also super fit and fanatical about it?\u00a0\u00a0No.\u00a0\u00a0Oh, he’s ALSO named Tony!\u00a0\u00a0Noooo.\u00a0 That’s not vain in any way, Tony 1.<\/p>\n