[Full disclosure: Even though I’ve been doing P90X since January, today was the first day I’ve done the Plyometrics dvd.\u00a0 I’ve been\u00a0substituting\u00a0running-on-the-treadmill for Plyometrics.\u00a0 But the new, renewed P90X me is in it to win it!\u00a0 Thus the Plyometrics maiden voyage today.]<\/p>\n
First off, it’s important to note that Tony Horton defines Plyometrics as “Jump Training.”\u00a0 In which case, I have renamed this dvd\u00a0to PEEometrics.\u00a0 And it’s supposed to take 58 minutes from warm-up to cool-down.\u00a0 But with\u00a0all the\u00a0JUMP training going on, it takes me twice as long for the pause-and-run-to-the-bathroom component I’ve had to build in.<\/p>\n
But I do have this to\u00a0say for the\u00a0dvd: at least the people in this segment are the least annoying of the bunch.\u00a0 There’s\u00a0Dominic who does all the exercises on steroids.\u00a0 There’s Pam (she’s mostly annoying because Tony keeps calling her Pam the Blam.\u00a0 Ugh.\u00a0 See?\u00a0 Annoying, right??).\u00a0 And then there’s a one-legged man named Eric!\u00a0 He\u00a0puts the fear of God into you right up front because now you’re thinking, “OMG!\u00a0 If I can’t do this stuff\u00a0and a one-legged man CAN?!\u00a0\u00a0Then I’m a TOTAL exercise loser!!”<\/p>\n
And what’s up with the fake band-aid on his leg?\u00a0 What’s that all about??\u00a0\u00a0Tony “outs” Eric’s\u00a0fake leg right up front, but I didn’t notice it because I was so focused on his BAND-AID.\u00a0\u00a0(Which technically isn’t fake.\u00a0 The leg is.)\u00a0 Also, Eric\u00a0has this\u00a0secret smile on his face the entire\u00a0time.\u00a0 Which I find odd.\u00a0 Either this is the\u00a0best time he’s had all day.\u00a0 Or he’s\u00a0secretly planning\u00a0to jump Dominic in the parking lot afterwards for making the rest of us look bad.<\/p>\n
Anyway…this pee-ing after every move is a total drag.\u00a0 So I looked up “suggested approaches” to overcoming this issue on BeachBody.com.\u00a0\u00a0The go-to resource for questions that\u00a0Tony mentions CONSTANTLY.\u00a0 \u00a0And??\u00a0 Nothin’.\u00a0 ‘Cause Tony didn’t plan for that, did he?<\/p>\n
That, my friends, is called a Flaw in the Plan.\u00a0 Kind of like the Flaw in my Pull-Up Bar Plan.\u00a0 I now have a pull-up bar.\u00a0\u00a0And it’s now mounted over the bathroom door.\u00a0 The Flaw in THAT Plan is that the bathroom door won’t close when the pull-up bar is mounted on it.\u00a0 Which is fine when it’s just me and the dog\u00a0doing PEEometrics (this is the place\u00a0where MOMMY\u00a0pee-pees, Teddy).\u00a0 But add a\u00a0week-end party to the mix and the\u00a0Flaw in the Plan becomes self-evident!<\/p>\n
So.\u00a0 Where does all of this leave us?\u00a0 Basically we spend the entire time jumping and\/or doing a variety of cartoon character moves.\u00a0 When we’re not acting like we’re avoiding the Acme TNT, we’re acting like we’re in some alcohol-fueled Saturday Night Live skit (Mary Katherine lunges, anyone?). And no matter what we do – Tony exhorts us to “Land like a cat!”\u00a0 or “Land like Spiderman!”\u00a0\u00a0At which point I exhort Tony to bite me.<\/p>\n
Pssst!\u00a0 Dominic.\u00a0 We’re just doing front-to-back jumps.\u00a0 Not ALL THE WAY AROUND jumps.\u00a0\u00a0You look like a DEMENTED BALLERINA!\u00a0 So knock it off, ya moron!\u00a0 And if Eric’s getting a plan together to GET YOU\u00a0after class?\u00a0\u00a0I’m totally in!<\/p>\n
I’ll just close this blog post with….Squat Jacks??\u00a0\u00a0SQUAT Jacks?!??!\u00a0 ‘Nuf said.<\/p>\n
Why yes, Teddy.\u00a0 This is where Mommy pee-pees!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
[Full disclosure: Even though I’ve been doing P90X since January, today was the first day I’ve done the Plyometrics dvd.\u00a0 I’ve been\u00a0substituting\u00a0running-on-the-treadmill for Plyometrics.\u00a0 But the new, renewed P90X me is in it to win it!\u00a0 Thus the Plyometrics maiden voyage today.] First off, it’s important to note that Tony Horton defines Plyometrics as “Jump […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1032"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1032"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1032\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1037,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1032\/revisions\/1037"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}