{"id":1010,"date":"2013-03-19T08:23:02","date_gmt":"2013-03-19T14:23:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1010"},"modified":"2013-03-19T08:23:02","modified_gmt":"2013-03-19T14:23:02","slug":"slimming-panel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/?p=1010","title":{"rendered":"Slimming Panel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Must EVERY pair of pants at Kohl&#8217;s have the Top Secret Slimming Panel?!?\u00a0 I\u00a0actually\u00a0call it\u00a0the Totally Obvious Blubbing Panel.\u00a0 Because it emphasizes the blub by PUSHING it from mild belly pooch status to\u00a0UP-AND-OVER-THE-TOP BLUB FEST\u00a0U.S.A.!!!<\/p>\n<p>But as my husband so perceptively points out, &#8220;Blubbing Panel&#8221; wouldn&#8217;t really be a good marketing gimic, would it?\u00a0 Excellent point, Sweetie.<\/p>\n<p>Regardless.\u00a0\u00a0Kohl&#8217;s &#8211; please stop.\u00a0 If I wanted a slimmer panel, I&#8217;d do something totally ludicrous like embark on a 90 day death march towards fitness\u00a0(hear that, Tony!?\u00a0 I&#8217;m talking about\u00a0P90X, Ya Jackdaw).\u00a0 I sure as heck wouldn&#8217;t buy it at Kohl&#8217;s\u00a0with my 30% off coupon and $10 Kohl&#8217;s cash for every $50 spent.<\/p>\n<p>And I don&#8217;t need my lack of success with said death march PUSHED (UP AND OVER) in my face.\u00a0 So stop it.\u00a0 Just a variety of relaxed-waist pants would be fine.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not saying Karen Scott\/Alfred Dunner elastic (I have my standards), I&#8217;m just saying ix-nay on the slimming anel-pay.\u00a0 O-kay?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Must EVERY pair of pants at Kohl&#8217;s have the Top Secret Slimming Panel?!?\u00a0 I\u00a0actually\u00a0call it\u00a0the Totally Obvious Blubbing Panel.\u00a0 Because it emphasizes the blub by PUSHING it from mild belly pooch status to\u00a0UP-AND-OVER-THE-TOP BLUB FEST\u00a0U.S.A.!!! But as my husband so perceptively points out, &#8220;Blubbing Panel&#8221; wouldn&#8217;t really be a good marketing gimic, would it?\u00a0 Excellent [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1010"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1010"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1020,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1010\/revisions\/1020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}