What with all my free time and all, I was able to watch the procession of cardinals into the Sistine Chapel yesterday\u00a0as they prepared to enter into\u00a0the Papal Conclave.<\/p>\n
There’s lots\u00a0I could say here – but I won’t.\u00a0 Other than to mention that there was one fella’ (sittin’ right in front I might add) who didn’t get the “we’re all gonna wear red” memo.\u00a0 I mean, seriously.\u00a0 He was wearing some sort of mostly-black\u00a0Rasputin outfit.\u00a0\u00a0I hope he doesn’t win.\u00a0 I wasn’t getting a good vibe from him.<\/p>\n
Nor was I feeling real warm and fuzzy towards\u00a0the fella’ in the wheel chair WHO WAS DOZING during the “give us strength and help us make the right decision” prayer.\u00a0 Uh…is his vote gonna count?!?\u00a0 Just wondering how the rules work on that.<\/p>\n
And the man LEADING the “give us strength and help us make the right decision” prayer?\u00a0 Almost walked away from the mic without his hat.\u00a0 Guys –\u00a0ixnay\u00a0on the ats-hay.\u00a0 There’s too much to keep track of.\u00a0\u00a0You don’t need ONE MORE THING to worry about.\u00a0 Am I right?<\/p>\n
I attended a mass last week said by the Archbishop of Denver.\u00a0 And afterwards one of the other moms and I were talking about the hat situation going on\u00a0up there on the altar.\u00a0 If we were in charge, we’d say leave the hats at home!\u00a0 No one has time to mess with the hats.\u00a0 Who can keep all the rules straight about when to take them off and put them back on again.\u00a0\u00a0Again, I’m pretty sure they\u00a0have more important things to worry about!<\/p>\n
But just in case they do forget their hats?\u00a0 It’s a good thing they have those huge altar boys who follow them around and give them back their hats, which is what happened in the scenario with the Master of Ceremonies yesterday.<\/p>\n
So…all this\u00a0filing-into-the-room business took up quite a bit of time.\u00a0 And so I never even got to see them enter the time portal\u00a0and put this thing to a vote.\u00a0 But yesterday’s vote was a bust so they got to\u00a0come back OUT of the time portal to\u00a0board the\u00a0climate-controlled\u00a0bus\u00a0from the Sistine Chapel back to the guest house\u00a0(can you just imagine the conversations as they’re\u00a0brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed?!\u00a0 Goodnight John Boy!\u00a0 Goodnight Cardinal Scola!\u00a0 Goodnight Cardinal Scherer!).\u00a0 They’ll\u00a0begin the process all over again this morning.<\/p>\n
Doesn’t the entire world wonder what they’re doing in the conclave?\u00a0 Well – I know what they’re doing.\u00a0 I saw it on t.v. yesterday.\u00a0 They have a copper-piped still in there.\u00a0 Which leads me to believe they are making small-batch, single-malt scotch.\u00a0 In fact, they have TWO stills in there.\u00a0 The t.v. camera panned away from the\u00a0filing-in and did a close-up of the stills.\u00a0\u00a0I hope they don’t get too distracted with the distilling process to focus on the task at hand!<\/p>\n
And this next question may just be me.\u00a0\u00a0And the fact that I’m looking at all of this through my “I don’t have a job” filter.\u00a0 But how much is all of this costing??\u00a0 Let’s wrap this up asap, guys.\u00a0 If some stay at home mothers were in charge, we’d send them\u00a0through the time portal with a sleeping bag and a toothbrush.\u00a0 We’d get a much quicker decision that way.\u00a0 And while I’d like to also say ix-nay on the otch-skay,\u00a0they might be on to something.\u00a0 I mean, they could\u00a0charge a LOT for it and people would buy it.\u00a0 That might defray some of the costs.<\/p>\n
Either way, the world is wishing them\u00a0the best of luck.\u00a0\u00a0May the best man win!!<\/p>\n
Pssst!\u00a0 Just one final, quick comment.\u00a0 Not that it bears mentioning.\u00a0 Just like the rest of this.\u00a0 But we\u00a0gals learned during a bad stint in the 80’s that oversized dresses with drop waists and lots of lace don’t look slenderizing.\u00a0 I’m just mentioning it because – even\u00a0though I LOVED the Laura Ashley Years while they\u00a0lasted – looking back now I can see so clearly where it all went wrong.\u00a0 Could someone pass this fashion message on to the Cardinals?<\/p>\n
No??<\/p>\n
That’s right.\u00a0 They’re busy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What with all my free time and all, I was able to watch the procession of cardinals into the Sistine Chapel yesterday\u00a0as they prepared to enter into\u00a0the Papal Conclave. There’s lots\u00a0I could say here – but I won’t.\u00a0 Other than to mention that there was one fella’ (sittin’ right in front I might add) who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1008"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1017,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008\/revisions\/1017"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/newstayathomemom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}