Ya wanna know the ONE joke guaranteed to make my husband laugh every time? I just got a goose – and it’s not even Christmas!!
Hmmm. Falls a little flat on paper, doesn’t it? So maybe it’s more of an “in person” sort of thing; Because in person, it’s a regular laugh riot. Especially if I say it in a southern accent. Immediately after my husband gooses me.
But enough about me. What about that goose? Do you ever see that goose?! That one Canada goose in the sky. Flappin’ off to somewhere and honkin’ like a madman. What goose did YOU think I was talking about, ya dirty bird?
Yeah! What’s UP with that goose?! Did HE just get a Christmas goose? Or is the flock playing some sort of practical joke on him??
For some reason, whenever I see that lone goose tearing across the sky – I’m reminded of the joke we used to play on the boys during quiet reading time in grade school. We’d wait. And wait. Until the chosen boy was deep into his reading material. Then we’d tap him on the shoulder and say, “Sister Germaine* just called you! Didn’t you hear her?” At which point he’d get all panicked and JUMP UP! out of his seat and go racing to the front of the room, honkin’ and flappin’.
Now that’s funny enough, but my most triumphant work in this area came when the boy whose shoulder I tapped actually had a leg that had fallen asleep. But I/he didn’t realize it until he had JUMPED UP! out of his seat. Only to SLAM! into the desk across from him as his leg crumpled underneath. But not to be deterred – Sister Germaine had “called” him afterall – he proceeded to careen up the aisle. Lurching right and overcorrecting left. A final heave-ho brought him to Sister’s desk. Whereupon he gasped, “I’m here!”
She calmly looked up from grading papers and said, “What are you doing? Go sit down.” So he turned around and gamely staggered back.
Mystery solved! That, my friends, is where that looney-tune goose is headed. To Sister Germaine’s desk.
*Yes, her name was really Sister Germaine. She was my 8th grade teacher. There was also a Sister Cletus. She taught science. And yes, THAT was really HER name. And? She looked like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. How fun is that?!? Now I’m going to hell. And now I swore. Thanks a lot. Is it Christmas yet?