Anyone else remember 6th grade as being excruciatingly awkward?! If so, then you’re in luck! Because it still is.
I present to you Exhibit A. Which has been subtitled: When Jack* asked Sydney* to go “out” with him (at the all-school roller skating party).
[Are you cringing yet? Because you should be.]
This is how it unfolds…
It’s the all-school roller skating party. Jack requests the One Direction song “What Makes You Beautiful” from the d.j.
You’re insecure Don’t know what for You’re turning heads when you walk through the door…
When it finally starts playing, he’s standing in the middle of the rink. He reaches out his reed-thin arm and points at Sydney (Uhhh, me??!). Then he skates over to where Sydney is standing beside the rink in her side ponytail and Keds.
Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell You don’t know Oh Oh You don’t know you’re beautiful…
Everyone is a hot, sweaty mess with their hair sticking to their foreheads. It took so long for the d.j. to play the song that the party was almost over. Sydney was all done skating and on her way out the door. But Jack will not be deterred. He skates over to Sydney. And when he’s close enough, he shouts in her ear, “WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!?”
So c-come on You got it wrong To prove I’m right I put it in a song I don’t know why You’re being shy And turn away when I look into your eyes Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you…
Sydney shouts back, “MY PARENTS DON’T LET ME GO OUT…BECAUSE WE’RE IN SIXTH GRADE!” and turns and walks away.
If only you saw what I can see You’ll understand why I want you so desperately Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe You don’t know Oh oh You don’t know you’re beautiful Oh oh That what makes you beautiful…
Jack is left behind, broken-hearted, but wearing his lucky tank top. Because that’s what you want to be wearing when your carefully-planned-and-executed Ask Out Scenario goes down in flames. In front of the whole school.
Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell You don’t know Oh Oh You don’t know you’re beautiful…
Ugh – horrific, is it not???
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent. And the awkward. But the rest of the story is entirely true. Sydney slept over at our house after the party and we got to hear her and Sissy discussing the ill-fated Ask Out Scenario umpteen times. Over and over again. In all its gory glory. God bless 6th graders everywhere!