Remember that Fabergé Organics shampoo commercial from the 80’s? And how that blond chick (who looked suspiciously like a young Heather Locklear) was so psyched about the shampoo’s wheat germ oil and honey ingredients that she told two friends about it. And they told two friends.
And…then? All the math in the universe went wonky. Because on the tv screen at that point, there were only FOUR friends who ALL looked like Heather Locklear. But by MY calculations, there should have been SEVEN friends on tv (one of them being Heather), all excitedly chatting about their shampoo: some with brown hair, some with bowl cuts, some with zits and so on.
But that’s not what happens. And while Heather continues telling all of her friends, the math gets even wonkier and everyone’s blond hair gets more amazingly Farrah Fawcettish and so on and so on.
Towards the very end of the commercial, Heather’s boyfriend shows up. He ACTS like he’s smelling her hair, but we all know he’s really licking the honey off as he lurks behind her. Weird.
At this point, there are three things that I wanted to tell Heather:
- Get some ugly friends already, Heather. Ones with bad hair!
- Oddly enough, I’m still waiting to hear from you about the shampoo. I’m sure you’ll be telling me something about it shortly.
- Also, the ingredients in your shampoo? We’re now using in modern times for our smoothies.
- Ok, actually four things: and this last one isn’t really directed at Heather. It’s directed at YOU, reading this blog: I need your help getting my blog nominated by February 1st for The 2015 Bloggies.
So pretty pleasepleaseplease go here: http://2015.bloggi.es/ and vote for me for “Most Humorous Weblog.” You will need to fill in THREE nominations. Of course, if you’re the smartest and prettiest person in the land, you will naturally put “New Stay at Home Mom” in the FIRST Nominee field and this link http://newstayathomemom.com/ in the FIRST corresponding URL field.
If I’m the only humorous blog you read, thank you and God bless! But you will need to fill in two more blogs in order to complete your nomination. A few that I feel won’t give me a super duper amount of competition in the “Most Humorous Weblog” category (and which I suggest all the smart and pretty people put in second and third spots) are:
- The most boring blog in the world https://mostboringblog.wordpress.com/
- Stephanie’s Cheese Sandwich Blog https://steph.wordpress.com/
Then please tell two of your friends about voting for my amazing blog…and so on…and so on…and so on.
But get the math right this time! We want to go all exponential here.